Friday, October 15, 2010

Voting Early and Often in Chicago: Updated

Lady M went to do her bit in support of voting early and often in Chicago this morning:voting #1First stop: voting at the Pepsi EZ-Vote booth

 voting #2 Second stop, EZ-Vote # 2


Third stop: EZ-Vote # 3

                              voting #3

Lady M demonstrated her much flaunted fashion finesse and aplomb each time she voted. Here she demonstrates how best to minimize your “assets:” Always stand in juxtaposition with the, uh, largest other female in the vicinity. It’s an old mirror trick, but it works like a charm.

voting buddy

Does this voter make my butt look small?

Of course, there was controversy surrounding Lady M’s voting place behavior. No, no one seemed to mind that she voted 3 times. But there were complaints about her electioneering inside the voting place. Apparently there’s some dumb rule against this:

Illinois state law — Sec. 17-29 (a) — states: “No judge of election, pollwatcher, or other person shall, at any primary or election, do any electioneering or soliciting of votes or engage in any political discussion within any polling place, within 100 feet of any polling place.”

It’s ok though, because Gibbsy said so: “I don’t think it would be much to imagine, the First Lady might support her husband’s agenda,” said Gibbs, in MO’s defense. And besides, you cannot expect a Harvard trained lawyer to know all the itsy bitsy details of campaign law. They all have much bigger fish to fry. Like eligibility requirements for being elected President of the U.S.

So can we just drop this “illegal and inappropriate”  behavior crap right now? If Ricky Holder isn’t going to prosecute Black Panthers with Billy clubs intimidating voters in Pittsburg, he sure as hell isn’t going to mess with Lady M. So let’s just move along, there’s nothing to see here.


So, I thought we had put this one to rest, butt then I see this headline on Mommy Life: “Michelle Obama breaks Illinois election law.” It’s starting to look like this story might have grown some legs, because Drudge is all over it too, although I still don’t know where he was on my first big scoop as a cub reporter, “Big Guy’s Monica” Greggors moment at the Natural History Museum.”

Axe-Man and Gibbsy don’t want to touch this and Rahmbo is history, so I guess it’s going to have to be burried by George Stephanopoulos, Wolfy Blitzkrieg or moi. It’s moi.

Let’s start with the first allegation: “She’s a Harvard lawyer and should have known better.”

A) They yanked her law license years ago She voluntarily surrendered her law license years ago (so they wouldn’t yank it) so I don’t want to hear anymore about that. Sheesh, get your facts on.

2) What do you think Laurence Henry Tribe and Alan Dershowitz teach at Harvard Law School, crap like election law? Pa-lease, get real. Harvard is the home of big ideas like the “Living & Evolving Constitution,”  “The Unbearable Wrongness of Bush v. Gore” and “Abortion as a Lifeforce.”

3) We have a little thing called the First Amendment which allows her to say whatever she wants, anywhere, any time. It’s not like she was trying to get people to believe in the Christian God, She was trying to get people to vote for Democrats.

OK, now let’s deal with Illinois state election law. Nobody except the trolls at FOX News read FEDERAL LAWS, so who in the world do you think reads Illinois laws? Besides, MO was in Chicago where Chicago rules apply. Everyone on this blog is well versed in Chicago rules, especially the winners of my coveted Golden FLOTUS.

Finally, if you have been following the early voting in Illinois, you know that our “Ds” need all the help they can get. So how is it helpful to have an Eco-Nazi candidate trying to suck Democratic votes away from our chosen guy? Here’s how we deal with ballot insurgents under Chicago rules: Somehow the Eco-Nazi for Governor’s name was misspelled on our official ballot.

Rich “Whitney” (EN) Governor, became -  by a clerical error I’m told - are you ready,

“Rich Whitey”

No s**t! How is that going to play on the South Side? Voter hole plugged.

So, let’s STOP the HATIN’ on Lady M and Big Guy, get on-board to let us keep our CHANGE.

Back to the important stuff: In case you’re wondering about our unique voting day outfit, Lady M just wanted to demonstrate that she’s not just a clothes pimp for the conservative line of American fluff offered up by the likes of Talbots. Here she mixes it up a bit more to her liking with a gaily printed sleeveless shell, mini-me cornflower blue cardi and giganto multi-patterned boob belt cinched up good and tight.

You really can go home again! This is what her base wants and loves, and we are here for them. Yesterday’s fuchsia sheath was for the Cheeseheads in Beer Town. But we’re back in Chi-town now, baby! Where we make the rules, and they only apply to other people.

This flattering cinched silhouette is one that MO has favored ever since we took office:

mo and gates              fkb4

 sd pm2eTHREAT


We just feel that this wrap and roll effect emphasizes our best features, while minimizing what few shortcomings we have.

So, on behalf of Lady M, I say to all of our loyal members of the the Democratic base: Pull on your best Lady M fashion forward cinched-up sensations and let’s get out there and start voting! There’s only 19 days left to save our bacon; we expect you can all vote at least once a day. Just be sure to wear something different every day so no one will recognize you.

MO demonstrates how to do this economically at her fund raising speech for current Colorado Senator, Michael Bennet, in Englewood.


The indispensible little grey short sleeved jacket; just the thing to toss on over the morning’s multi-print voting shirt thingy. Now we look professional.