Monday, December 13, 2010

Father, Forgive Him, For He Has Not Got a Clue


The Won,arriving for the filming of his Christmas homily at the National Building Museum, with the family.

“Love One Another, As I Have Loved You”

Luke 22:1-38; John 13

Or something.

Big Guy, along with the rest of the cast of entertainers, gathered last night to film the annual Christmas in Washington celebration (airing Friday on TNT). He and TOTUS were called upon to deliver the season’s inspirational message:

"The story and message speak to us today. We are called to love each other as we love ourselves," Big Guy told the crowd: “… It's a message that guides my Christian faith."

Apparently his Christian faith is guided by something other than the teachings of the New Testament. Either that, or his fractured Biblical reference is the result of lingering effects of PTPD (Post Traumatic Press Disorder). This affliction is related to Spoonerism and Bowdlerism, and causes the victim to speak familiar words rearranged into phrases that have been expunged of all their original intent. 

wooden soldierAnd nobody leaves until I find out who stole my POTUS seal!

And before you jump all over TOTUS, let me assure you: HIS circuits were all loaded and operating correctly. This affliction causes a disruption of the normal TOTUS-to-tongue connection, and allows the super-ego to intervene.

Don’t worry though, since the Dawg is back, Big Guy and Team will be able to get away for our annual Hawaiian holiday and recharge all the depleted battery packs.

article-1338171-0C761334000005DC-758_306x423 The Wons sing along to Joy to the World

And since we have our Hawaiian get away coming up soon, we’re even going to give Andrea Bocelli a pass. Ricky Holder wanted to slap him with discrimination charges for his racist musical selection of “White Christmas” butt we decided to grant him a presidential pardon. Just like in the Bible.