A 3-D printing machine, WTF? Seriously: this could Win the Future for Big Guy. Just when everyone around here was preparing for the end of the American Century, someone from Cornell comes along with this: A machine that fabricates any object in 3 dimension! How cool is that?
The Economist went so far as to say it could revolutionize the industrial revolution. They’re talking about making ears, and skin, and kidneys! And cakes with your initial embedded right in the middle – in dulce de leche! Or any other flavor of your choice. You’ll be able to get them right at Costco.
3-D cakes, a bit small, butt they come by the gross at Costco
Butt Wow! We have so got to get one of those printers. Think of all the potential applications around here. No more ill-fitting clothes, evah! We could print Lady M’s wardrobe to order:
- Specially printed skirts and slacks that are made to order for our unique J-Lo profile:
…in order to avoid that unfortunate optical illusion effect.
Lady Gaga’s a big fan of custom 3-d butt fittings.
- Also, we could print our own shoes to fit our “unique feet” perfectly.
![six_toe_sandels[4]_thumb[2]](http://lh3.ggpht.com/_DawJTCHuL3c/TXJsMiVOAJI/AAAAAAAALd8/vKUHzVGd3TE/s1600-h/six_toe_sandels4_thumb25.jpg "six_toe_sandels[4]_thumb[2]")
Cripes world-famous photo of Lady M’s world-famous “Oprah” toe: custom shoes are a must with a foot like this.
That way we wouldn’t have to wear that one comfortable pair, whether they go with the outfit or not.
Or worse, no shoes at all:
- Plus, we could custom print our jackets to fit smoothly over our well turned curves so that this doesn’t happen again:
- In fact, we could probably just go ahead and print up our own custom falsies as long as we’re at it,
in order to enhance our boob belts:
We could’ve used a little extra “lift” here.
For a complete list of rack options, visit Gerard’s Side Bar and scroll down to Thursday/Wednesday.
(Just between you and me, I think Sarah’s rack is larger)
Wow, this is fun! How about custom printed eyelashes,
to match our favorite outfits:
Lady M’s world famous peacock harvest
…and lips, for those days when we just can’t muster up the real deal:
![wax[6]](http://lh4.ggpht.com/_DawJTCHuL3c/TXJsdgGTUoI/AAAAAAAALfY/e3VAThSFXiQ/s1600-h/wax62.jpg "wax[6]")
Best of all, if we can get one of these machines up and running, I know exactly what I’m going to fabricate for Big Guy’s next birthday:
Hawaiian Certificate-Lite
Real Hawaiian Birth Certificate, brought to you by Fabricate Yourself
Posts
Can you print me up a "real" birth certificate that shows that I am one of the as yet unknown Kardashian sisters?.
ReplyDeleteI'd like to cash in on some of that easy money.
Damn those people at Cornell. What we need are trained and dedicated workers, well educated people, a determined work force! Not a bunch of impertinant geniuses mucking up The Won's WTF program!
ReplyDeleteSay, can you print me up a few bills?
ReplyDeleteFirst photo: MOO should have that PermaScowl trademarked. She could
ReplyDeleterent it out to horror shows.
There she is in all her sourness: living in luxury and still with a SOUR look on her face. Stupid cow!
Oh, and if Jiffy Lube had its own magazine, MOO could be the cover girl with those greasy legs.
bettyann...I assume you mean $100 bills, and not the nasty other kind?
ReplyDeleteGoes to show ... what really matters to a girl, is a proud husband, a man who takes pride in his skills, a man who takes his time to ensure things are done correctly and often.
ReplyDeleteI always wondered what besides her armpits kept Moo's boob belts from riding up and becoming collars.
ReplyDeleteLOL! Ya, about a hunert bills - the 100 dollar kind ;)
ReplyDeleteMOTUS, can have a Cornell WTF print out of my ORIGINAL Marriage License? The won that sez I am Mrs. Bill Gates? Don't fret over the pesky polygamy issue with THAT Melissa chick...I am willing to either 'share' or step aside.
ReplyDeleteOn second thought, can I haz a Divorce Decree too? I'll leave 'well enough alone' (and I mean ALL alone) for a mere 5 percent.
I am soooo congenial.
Khelli! Is that you???
ReplyDeleteHow about a print up of the body I had in 1995? This one is getting a little gimpy in the knees.
ReplyDelete3D fabrication/technology is probably NOT too MO friendly. First of all it is NOT wise to add another dimension to her immense proportions. Also it is almost impossible to hide all that girth behind deceptively flattering angles in 3D.
ReplyDeleteA fabricator for the Fabricator(s) in Chief. Very appropos, don't you think?
ReplyDeleteJust think of the possibilities though: MO should go all out and have it fabricate not just new boobs, nose, lips and eyelashes (and of course new ears for him) but all the boob belts, brooches bangles and shoes that her little heart desires.
What she could really use is a reliable permanent Minimizer (because this fabricator thing seems to be good at adding to but not so much in taking away) so she doesn't have to depend to optical illusions, photoshopping and the embargo of entire areas of her body. So step to it you Cornell brainiacs, your country needs you!
sasquatch hopscotch :-D
ReplyDeleteOh noes! m00 will fabricate bigger, more elaborate and outrageous lies. And m00 will be able to fabricate any number of clown squirt flowers and boob belts. Butt what if she fabricates a little barry? Like, you know, just in time for the 2012 election? Butt wouldn't m00 have to fabricate breasts to feed the wee Iw0n? Oh the sacrficin' this woman has to do!
ReplyDeleteWhat ever happened to your picture of Moo with the chefs in which she is wearing brightly colored socks and Crocs. I had it but can't find it now. Your picture with shoes looks too tame.
ReplyDeleteMichelle can wish for 3D, but she's stuck with double A's.
ReplyDeleteSeriously, can you imagine Carla Bruni wearing that or behaving like that?
ReplyDeleteNot for nothing is Cornell called Big Red . The best prof there is the legal insur rection guy . Hmmm maybe flotus has more uses for that machine . Does it run on batteries like her present little one ?
ReplyDeleteCat - well put! I keep thinking that the lime green pajama outfit with the head scarf was the all-time worse outfit (so many to chose from) - but this one is just so zulu. When she showed up at the hotel they took her to the linen closet (housekeeping) and gave her a proper maid's uniform.
ReplyDeleteI picture Barry more as the Croc type, Mooch - more like combat boots.
ReplyDeleteAlso re the first photo -- I KNOW they photoshopped about 20 lb of gut off that shilouette. Too bad they could do nothing about the ugly attitude expressed in the face.
ReplyDeleteGeneral comment -- kitten heels worn by an elephant.
I'd have to go back a LOT farther than 1995 . . . maybe 1970, when I graduated from high school. But more than the bod, I'd like to have the ENERGY I had back then. Uh, maybe minus the stupidity.
ReplyDeleteNo, he's a sandals type guy.
ReplyDeleteReason for the oil prices going up: m0 needs more leg oil for the summer.
ReplyDeleteReason for the oil prices going up: m0 needs more leg oil for the summer.
ReplyDeleteWhy doesn't m0 make Meathead Moore a test case for No Fat Left Behinds? He's the biggest Left Behind in the world.
ReplyDeleteI'm pretty sure she would have to fabricate a wee Iw0n, as BO doesn't seem up to the job these days. Just my opinion.
ReplyDeleteI'm seeing ballet slippers.
ReplyDeleteWhat I want to know is where are all the trolls? We used to get some great trolls around here, and have so much fun beating them up together! Dang.
ReplyDeleteEugh, that picture of whatever it is on the plate is setting off my trypophobia.
ReplyDeleteLooking at the pix..she has no idea who she is. Lounge singer at a dingy
ReplyDeletehotel near an airport, community organizer, or African Queen. What ever gave her the idea the FL's need false eyelashes and 10 lbs of makeup ? Or to hopscotch barefoot ?
All while wearing overpriced junk ? She is so much bigger than Boo and until she discovered Dr. Hollywood, always looked older than him
Let's face it, ghetto is as ghetto does.
I'm sorry srdem, I checked with wikipedia, and you are not listed as a daughter (or son) of Robert Kardashian. Big Guy, on the other hand, is clearly listed in wikipedia as having been born in Hawaii. My ethics pack won't allow me to create papers for anyone without proper citation.
ReplyDelete"fabrication are us" Jules
ReplyDelete<span>Yeah, BO doesn't need any help mucking things up, bettyann</span>
ReplyDeletemeow! and bark!
ReplyDeleteI'll do my best, butt I'm going to need some 3-d models to work with. And I'm not sure if it handles ENERGY - but let's give it a go.
ReplyDeleteI see your point, butt on the positive side, she could get her own moon.
ReplyDeleteThat's rhetorical, right?
ReplyDeleteOh dear! Butt they are green rechargables.
ReplyDeleteheh. "Left behind." Funny, butt we've got enough trouble without going around soliciting mental midgets.
ReplyDeleteMOO looks like she's playing Twister in that wide-spread-sequoia-thighs gardening photo.
ReplyDeleteI had to go look that up. Now I'm even more confused.
ReplyDeleteThe 'Little Richards'. (Seriously, why would anybody use lipliner that way?!)
ReplyDeletesandals ... with socks.
ReplyDeleteshhhh.
ReplyDeleteI have a can of retro "glass wax" that'll make you all shiny and slippery.
How about forgetting that wiki thing?
20 bucks?
Barry the Boy King is golfing again:
ReplyDeletehttp://www.whitehousedossier.com/2011/03/05/golf-2/
GOOTUS: Goof Off of the United States
I thought it was their mustache.
ReplyDeleteWe have something new to look forward to: She is running a street hockey game with the Stanley Cup winning Hawks on the South Lawn.
ReplyDeleteExpect nightmarish photos.
Me too, Pink: Trypohobia is an intense, irrational fear of holes
ReplyDeleteI can only imagine what kind you're afraid of, NBK.
I've been asking Lady M the same thing for months now
ReplyDelete*sigh* BO doens't really "get" this war thang.
ReplyDeleteOy! You're telling me?!?
ReplyDeleteHAH!! I'm days late but you never fail to make me laugh 'till I pull something, MOTUS. Bless you!
ReplyDelete"...her own moon" heh....
ReplyDelete[weak giggling into the night...]
This is what I would respect and love to see fromm\ the FLOTUS. Take your averge SNAP (food stamp) allotment , parcel it out to "healthful" on sale foods and then create a plateful of food a real kid will eat. Or a family might want to come home to at dinner time, as I did? I can give an example: buy 10 pot pies. (for the week) (on sale 10 for $10.00). Micro them; take them out of the container; put the contents on a hot plat; Mix up a dollar store $29 cent package of gravy (granted : must cook with water on stove top); pour on pot pie contents. Combine with eaqually on sale frozen vegentables, and you have a decent meal: one I might add requires the family sit down at table, perhaps bond, perhaps share what it is going on in their lives, and maybe begin to reconstruct the thing once called family?
ReplyDeleteI doubt kids can wait to get home to arugula?
Do a Google image search for "lotus boob" and "Surinam toad" and you'll get an idea of what gives me the heebity-jeebies.
ReplyDeleteDid Moo run into a wall and mash her face?
ReplyDeleteRe Okrah Toe: What is it? Does it hurt? Can you get it from the shower? Does it grow with you? Is it bigger than a breadbox? (just kidding on that one)
ReplyDelete