We have a busy week shaping up around here. Tonight: our 3rd annual official Seder Dinner, which still confuses me a little, because I didn’t even know we were Jewish; not that there’s anything wrong with that - I just didn’t know since we’ve never been to temple.
Butt Big Guy’s been celebrating with his Jewish friends and staffers (mostly one and the same) since the campaign trail glory days of ‘08 (boy, that seems a long time ago doesn’t it?).
Here’s Big Guy’s Passover statement for this year:
My family and I send our warmest wishes to all those celebrating the sacred festival of Passover.
On Monday evening, Jewish families and their friends in America, Israel, and around the world will gather around the Seder table and retell the story of the Exodus, one of the most powerful stories of suffering and redemption in history. The story of Passover - which recalls the passage of the children of Israel from bondage and repression to freedom and liberty - inspires hope that those oppressed and enslaved can become free. The Seder, with its rich traditions and rituals, instructs each generation to remember its past, while appreciating the beauty of freedom and the responsibility it entails.
It might be good if we all remembered the Jews past. Although that’s asking for a lot from a culture already overcrowded with celebrity wit and wisdom, reality shows, porn-on-demand and free condom distribution for everyone over age 10. And beside, we all know that could never happen here. ‘Cuz we’re all so enlightened. And progressive.
This year, that ancient instruction is reflected in the daily headlines as we see unfolding in the Middle East and North Africa.
Since I see that Iran is assisting the Syrian “rebels” I don’t think I’d take those “modern stories of social transformation and liberation” to heart just yet.
Against the backdrop of change, we continue to pray for peace between Israel and her neighbors, while reaffirming our enduring commitment to Israel's security.
And you can take that to the bank. Of course our currency has been severely devalued as of late, especially since our KMAs seem to be doing nothing more than destabilizing the least stable region on the planet and empowering the decidedly non-matzo ball friendly Muslim Brotherhood. Butt I’m sure we have a plan to support our Jewish friends in Israel.
As Jewish families gather for this joyous celebration of freedom, let us all be thankful for the gifts that have been bestowed upon us, and let us work to alleviate the suffering, poverty, injustice, and hunger of those who are not yet free. Chag Sameach.
And to protect and defend the freedom of those who have already won it. Shalom.
Chef is still working on the menu for tonight, since last year’s didn’t go over that big with Lady M: Gefilte Fish?
You cannot be serious. Chicken Soup with Matzo Balls? Roast Chicken? Carrot Soufflé – CARROT? SOUFFLE?!? The only thing that Lady M approved of last year were the brown sugar macaroons, and even then more so for the symbolism than the flavor.
So we’ve instructed chef to try harder this year, although the shellfish restriction is going to make it hard to pull a whole meal together that Lady M will enjoy. So in a defensive KMA (Kinetic Meal Action) we’re planning a special lunch of Kobe sliders and lobster rolls, just to tide us over till our midnight snack.
As soon as he wraps up his campaign for Jewish votes, Big Guy will be taking his campaign on the road “to speak directly to the American people about his vision for reducing our debt and bringing down our deficit, based on the values of shared responsibility and shared prosperity.” Good move - waiting until after tax day to spread that bit of wisdom around.
Townhalls are scheduled in Virginia, Palo Alto (Facebook headquarters!) and Reno for Big Guy to share his Willie Hutton plan for controlling the deficit by taxing the fat cats. He’ll also manage to squeeze in two huge campaign fund raisers in Los Angeles and San Francisco while he’s out that way on official business. Because let’s face it, WTF is going to very, very expensive.
Oh, and note to the road crew: let’s try to remember to turn the feeds off this time, o-kay?