Tuesday, April 19, 2011

View to a Kill

The View Transcript, short version:

I’m all, like, and Jill’s all, like cool! And Buh-rock says he’s cool too. The Biden’s they’re cool. They’re like, real people, you know?

And we all work s-oooo hard, and so we’re all like, “really?”  Sometimes we get tired, like from not being able to walk anywhere, you know? Don’t feel sorry for me! I’m just sayin’.

Military families? Who knew they were out there? And they’re proud, they’re handlin’ their business. Who knew!? We love ‘em though. Now that we know they’re out there - the one percenters. They’re part of our democracy, you know?

you've said enough

First, if I may be a little immodest for a moment,  I’m going to have to say, I think I did an excellent job yesterday with Lady M’s refractions. I love working in TV studios, with all that special equipment. And professional makeup artists.

Secondly, I’m beginning to think that perhaps Dr. Jill might be spending a little too much time with Lady M. It pains me to say this, butt I think her dress might be a smidge too tight. I tried to warn her about the perils of being on the road with Lady M and her traveling Cheetos locker. She thought I was exaggerating.

I’m not clear on the significance of the pink and red theme that FLOTUS and SLOTUS chose for their “Joining Forces” tour. Butt they’ve been rockin’ it since the kickoff last week.




I’m calling Lady M the holder of the Charlie Sheen  “winning” card in this round: demure frock, knees covered, and looky! The shoes even match! How truly special is that?


Dr. Jill on the other hand, seemed to have grabbed the wrong garment bag for the trip to NYC. Her dress looks it was the one that was being sent out to the cleaners for pressing.


Note to self: linen is not a good choice for travel days. Unclear what’s going on with Lady M’s roller coast hem other than it’s clearly the latest fashion trend; since it covers the knees, especially when sitting, I’m in.

Screenshot Studio capture #047 Too much exposure. To Lady M I mean.


1Members of the Ladies of the View synchronized leg crossing team.

Lady M told Barbara that she and Dr. Jill  “have the best positions in government.” I’ll say! All of the perks, and none of the responsibilities. Butt she meant because they get to choose their “causes”  unlike Big Guy who is forced to deal with anything that’s thrust on him, like this huge federal deficit, Libyan rebels, basketball brackets and Nobel Peace Prizes.

I hope this doesn’t sound sexist or any thing, butt technically FLOTUS and SLOTUS don’t “have the best positions in government,” they’re just married to the people who do. They’re more like the beneficiaries than the fiduciaries. I hope that doesn’t get me in trouble with NOW.

In addition to their Joining Forces effort, and the soldiers (the one percenters who are part of our democracy) and their families, Lady M and Dr. Jill covered other important topics like Wee Won-1 growing up (they talk about makeup - for hours!) and Joey B falling asleep during Big Guy’s Big Fiscal Responsibility Tour. It was apparently just in sympathy with the plight of the Air Controllers – they’re unionized again, right? Although their problem is most likely related to a poor diet, high in fat, sugar and sodium. Bad diets can kill.


Lady M explained how surprised she was to find out that our soldiers come from regular families somewhere in fly over.

9She and Buh-rock had always assumed that soldiers were somehow different from ordinary people, who don’t think about democracy so much

"We're trying to expand public awareness. Because our military families sacrifice so much for us," the first lady said. "And most Americans are probably like I was. Not really recognizing the sacrifices and the challenges that these families make."

3819930499-1Like all young people, the O’s formed some of their views about the military by movies they saw while still in college.

“I want to embrace the country that I love. The country that I know is positive and fair… ” And as soon as she finds it, she can stop travelling so much. Maybe it will be Ireland. I understand she has roots there too.

15Whoopie got all dressed up for Lady M’s visit. And she didn’t even walk off the set in the middle of the interview.

BTW, the Kosher-style Seder last night was a big hit. Even Lady M enjoyed the braised beef brisket, potato kugel and matzo chocolate cake (much better use of matzo than the balls.) Butt again with the  carrot soufflé! Can we just skip that part of the tradition next year?

As with everything though, you can’t please everybody, and as usual Big Guy’s faux Seder met with criticism from some. Boy you really can’t fool please everyone can you?

H/T Mommy Life: Barbara thinks Lady M might want to stay in the Big White 4 more years more so than Big Guy. So she can continue to look for the country she loves –where ever in the world that might be.