Saturday, June 18, 2011

Bouncing Weiners, Babysitters Packin’ Heat: It Might Be Time for a Little “Tune Up”

I’m afraid Big Guy has been running his mouth a little too much recently. I don’t know what he’s been thinking.

Bouncing weiners?

"Obviously, it's been a tough incident for him, but I'm confident that they'll refocus and he'll refocus, and they'll end up being able to bounce back,"

weinerwagonDon’t worry, its not death for the Weiner. His wagon will be back

The Wee Wons’ babysitters packin’ heat

"I should also point out that I have men with guns that surround them often, and a great incentive for running for re-election is that it means they never get in the car with a boy who had a beer,"

Obama Departs White House Ohio yiyiZwkYGdll

Keeping the Big White Playground safe: For the children who play here

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Butt really - isn’t life tough enough around here without throwing red meat to the R-words?

Big Guy is beginning to sound like he needs either a long rest or a tune up at the nervous hospital. How else do you explain these almost-JoeyB-worthy-gaffes? Has Big Guy’s famous “brain-to-lips” connection shorted out? (BTW, has anyone seen TOTUS lately?)

He didn’t stop there, either, when asked if there’s HOPE for a baby O to excite the base in time for the re-election, Big Guy said:

"You act as if this is a decision of mine.


Hey, does anyone want to come home with me? How about you, blondie?

It really isn't. As Michelle points out, I did not carry 10 pounds in my belly, you know. I think that Michelle's general view is we're done."

That doesn’t sound very…uh, presidential.

p061511ps-1063_2“Put her back, Buh-rock!”

Anyway, I sure hope he gets those wires reconnected before heading out for his golf summit with John Boehner and Joey B. With Joey’s well documented penchant for in-artful lip work, we don’t need Big Guy’s lips on the fritz too. I can just hear it now on Fox News: “President Obama today referred to the Speaker of the House as Congressman ‘Boner.’” Bad enough if it’s Joey B.

I guess the stress of the campaign may be settling in a little early for everyone around here. Lady M, never known as much for her clear articulation as Big Guy, butt certainly no slouch (metaphorically speaking)

Laura-Kaneko-and-Michelle-Obama6175af96e1719b95f0be9f85d91f8d67mi copen4

Slouching towards Gomorrah

in that department either, seems to be slipping off the reservation  a bit too. It’s beginning to look like everyone has been over taxed overworked lately. How else do you explain comments like this from Lady M at the DNC fundraiser in San Francisco:

My dear friend -- I call him “my other husband,” Paul Pelosi -- (laughter) -- is also here.  (Applause.)  Paul -- you know what, I call him that because Paul is always at my things.  He comes -- I could be in, you know, another part of the world.  It’s like, Paul’s here.  (Laughter.)  It’s like, well, how did you get here?  (Laughter.)  But I am always happy to see him.  He has been such a great support.  And he represents this state and this country so well.  He is a wonderful man.  Thank you, Paul.  Thank you again for being here.

Aye yi yi! And then this from Big Guy: an assessment on the TODAY show of what’s driving the unemployment numbers:

“There are some structural issues with our economy where a lot of businesses have learned to become much more efficient with a lot fewer workers. You see it when you go to a bank and you use an ATM, you don’t go to a bank teller, or you go to the airport and you’re using a kiosk instead of checking in at the gate.”


I hate to seem critical, butt don’t you think that “the smartest man to ever become President”, the man who, as Lady M just told us, has a “memory like a steel trap” would know that ATM’s have been around since George Bush’s presidency – that’s George Herbert Walker Bush (c. 1989-93)?

So I guess technically, we could say “it’s Bush’s fault.” 

Anyway, I think we better start taking our smart vitamins around here, because the right wingnuts are going to do their best to make Big Guy, the smartest guy in the room with a steel trap memory, look foolish. And if he keeps handing them fuel, like forgetting to toast the Queen and putting the wrong year in her date book, well, you’ve just got to expect them to make hay while the sun shines.

And we better just hope it keeps shining.