Sunday, June 12, 2011

Flash! Sham! Wow! Focusing Like a Laser Beam

It’s been a pretty quiet weekend up here at Camp David where we were dispatched to lay low while Big Tony “takes care of his problem” with little Tony. Unfortunately, it looks like he didn’t get the memo that Big Guy sent him, telling him to pull out PRONTO!

Instead, the Rep decided to grab his package of dirty laundry and check in for a little revitalizing stint at the Sexual-Healing-Rehab-and-Jiffy-Lube Shoppe in search of a cure for whatever’s wrong with him. At least that’s where I presume he’s heading, he wasn’t specific. All I know for sure is he has been practicing his Big Dog patented  “I’m sorry I got caught with my transgressions down” lip biting:


OK, butt I’d keep practicing until I nailed it if I were the Weiner:


Here he is on Saturday on his way back from dumping his dirty laundry off:

article-2002353-0C84414D00000578-385_634x637What the Perp-walk looks like in the metrosexual age

I think we can put him down as a “no” for the annual Big White Congressional Picnic next Wednesday.

BTW, regardless of what you read over at TMZ (caution: some pictures show both weiners) about a government mirror aiding and abetting the Weiner’s tweets, I had nothing to do with it. Consider this an official denial. If you have any questions you can contact my attorney.

I will not be discussing this any further, and now I’d just like to get back to my work for the American people.

weiner in mirror

Meanwhile, Big Guy released his weekly address from way up here in the north woods. This week our topic was: “Government Partnering with the Private Sector to Train Workers and Spur Hiring:”

We’ve just come through the worst recession since the Great Depression, and while our economy as a whole has been growing and adding private sector jobs, too many folks are still struggling to get back on their feet. I wish I could tell you there was a quick fix to our economic problems. But the truth is, we didn’t get into this mess overnight, and we won’t get out of it overnight. It’s going to take time.


Which is a theme Big Guy’s been hitting on ever since he took office:

January 31, 2009

Yesterday we learned that our economy shrank by nearly 4 percent from October through December. That decline was the largest in over a quarter century, and it underscores the seriousness of the economic crisis that my administration found when we took office…

The good news is that we are moving forward with a sense of urgency equal to the challenge.


He hasn’t taken his eye off the ball once since he reported for duty.

March 7, 2009

From the day I took office, I knew that solving this crisis would not be easy, nor would it happen overnight.  And we will continue to face difficult days in the months ahead… 

That's why my administration is committed to doing all that's necessary to address this crisis and lead us to a better day.  That's why we're moving forward with an economic agenda that will jumpstart job creation…

… My administration inherited a $1.3 trillion budget deficit, the largest in history.  And we've inherited a budgeting process as irresponsible as it is unsustainable. 

amd_obama-golf“You know I can’t do this all day!” That’s unsustainable.

And even though he didn’t know much about the economy when he got here, he was a quick study.

obama-golf-283x499“Let’s try not talking about the economy for awhile and see how it goes.”

Boy, this sand trap ditch is deeper than it looks.


August 1, 2009

But history shows that you need to have economic growth before you have job growth.  And the report yesterday on our economy is an important sign that we’re headed in the right direction…

This won’t happen overnight.  As I’ve said before, it will take many more months to fully dig ourselves out of a recession – a recession that we’ve now learned was even deeper than anyone thought.  But I’ll continue to work every day, and take every step necessary, to make sure that happens.

414px-Barack_Obama_playing_golfPracticing our goose-stepping on the links

Both Big Guy and Lady M are enjoying their time up here in the woods with the flies and mosquitos, resting up for their very, very busy week ahead:jammed with campaign publicity government events that will be taking them from LA to Puerto Rico and back again.

Don’t forget: Congressional Picnic on Wednesday!

obamamissionaccomplisheThe Economy: We Nailed it!

Oh, and I think we’re going to play golf this afternoon. Don’t want to ruin our streak.