Tuesday, June 7, 2011

The Wages of War: Bris or Brisket

Weinergate: Day 11. The Weiner War wags rages on.

Big Guy is now firmly committed to staying out of it: he won’t touch Weinergate with a 10 inch pole!



wistling past the graveyardWhistling past the graveyard of Democratic peccadillos

He’s got a limp economy to worry about, so he sent in his number one ball buster to do the dirty:

No not Lady M, she’s busy with other really important things.

where's thedamnbagmanLet’s move

So we had to settle for number 2 BB (no, not Hillary either – another time, another place, maybe): Congressional hammer Nancy the P:

pelosi-dnc-600x432San Fran Nan brings the House hammer down on Weinergate

After adamantly claiming for days that he did not have sext with that woman, what’s her name; Anthony Weiner finally admitted that he did indeed sext his pecs... along with other miscellaneous anatomical assets to several women; both prior and subsequent to his marriage to Huma (who couldn’t make it to the press conference due to a previous engagement).

The presser was a typical Weiner theatrical production: dragging on for 40 minutes, and it still wasn’t enough for everyone. According to Hot Air:

The last question shouted at a Weiner as he left the podium was “Were you fully erect, Congressman?”

Come on, guys. Haven’t we grown tired of the short jokes about Big Tony’s little Tony yet?


WOOD-TV is reporting that the Weiner will stand firm and not resign. Wiping back tears, Rep. Weiner said "This was me doing a dumb thing and doing it repeatedly and lying about it..." He also went on to say that he had never had sex outside of his marriage, taking his que from Bill  “I never had sex with that woman, Ms. Lewinski” Clinton. So I guess it depends on what the meaning of “sex” is – as well as “outside.

I think if the Weiner had spent more time studying the Bubba before coming out and spilling his beans, he would have just bit his lower lip instead of bawling like a baby.

You decide: Que es mas macho?



And while we know the Weiner leans hard to the left, we don’t know if he,too, suffers from Peyronie’s disease, like the Big Dog does, where the entire unit salutes to the left. Not that that would be an excuse for sending pictures of your trouser commander to underage tweethearts, butt at least it might raise some sympathy votes. I would have recommended a little focus group pole-ing on that question.

Unfortunately, and despite the number of similarities to the original Slick Willie, I’m afraid the little Weiner dog has lost the support of the important women around here:

Lady M is totally ticked off about all of the coverage the little guy is getting when Big Guy is working so hard for the American people. Nancy Pelosi has already called for his grilling by the House Ethics Committee. And the last we heard from Huma Weiner, she had contacted Hillary to see if that “valet” position has still available. Whoo-wee! I can imagine those two getting together to commiserate.

And before the big confession Barbara Walters weighed in on the View, suggesting helpfully that perhaps the underwear shot was intended for his lovely wife, Huma Weiner (I can’t say that enough). Babs, come on, I know you’ve been out of the wifey business for awhile, butt surely you recall that wives, especially the ones married to Politicians, would greatly prefer real jewels:


Although, sometimes all they get is paste.