Four words for today: gay, gay-er, gay-est, gay-er-est
Boy, for what was supposed to be just another quiet hump day around here, yesterday turned into quite the brew ha-ha.
First, I apologize for not giving you a heads up on Big Guy’s surprise endorsement of gay marriage. I swear, the last I heard he was planning on “evolving” right on through the election season. Butt then one of three things happened, depending on who you listen to:
- Polls and focus groups following Joey B’s “trial balloon” gave him the go-ahead
- The Gay Wing of the Democratic party threatened to withhold their kazillion dollar contributions if he didn’t come through as promised.
- One of Big Guy’s former “composite girlfriends” threatened to out him.
Regardless of the driver, BO is now firmly on record as being pro-gay marriage. And let the record reflect we are already enjoying several positive outcomes of this bold move:
- Nobody is talking about defunding of the military, Chinese takeovers of U.S. banks, Jobs! Jobs! Jobs!, the economy, Nuclear Iran, Eric Holder or even medical marijuana.
- We’ve launched a new fundraising campaign based on the polling data cited above, which is expected to haul in millions.
- We’ve now firmly established that Conservatives flip flop while Liberals “evolve.”
Butt while gay marriage is all anyone’s talking about, there was a lot of other important information communicated in Big Guy’s ABC News interview that everyone ignored. For example, we found out that Big Guy was in the dog house for forgetting Lady M in Columbus last Saturday:
h/t Gateway Pundit
The special treatment for the first lady comes nearly a week after President Obama deplaned Air Force One in Columbus, Ohio, accidentally leaving his wife behind — all as the cameras looked on.
“Oh, it was embarrassing,” a smiling Obama told Roberts. “She gave me so much grief. It was terrible.”
So he’ll be spending the rest of this term trying to make up for that. He started yesterday by expressing his heartfelt admiration for Lady M:
“What I’m so proud of is how her core values as a mom, she’s been able to translate into stuff that I think has given moms all across the country some additional tools to, you know, do what they care most deeply about…”
Things Lady M cares most deeply about:
This. Not this.
Above all, MO’s committed to fairness and justice, which is why she firmly supported Big Guy’s firm support of gay marriage:
The first lady is impassioned about fairness, aides say, and she has confessed to impatience with the pace of change her husband has been able to accomplish. Though she does not interfere in day-to-day policy matters, she has helped guard and protect the original mission of the Obama presidency: to be ambitious, rise above Washington battles and make the nation more equal and just. When Mr. Obama wanted to overhaul health care and immigration laws, she backed and bolstered him against the advice of aides who urged a more cautious approach.
We, of course, won’t say to what extent Lady M influenced BO’s decision to support gay marriage, butt I can tell you this: she did hire Kristina Schake as our personal Big White communications director. Don’t remember Kristina? Allow me to refresh your memory circuits:
Ms. Schake is the first lady’s communications director, with the day job of carefully managing Michelle Obama’s image. But it’s hard to name another White House aide with her level of experience in the fight to legalize gay marriage. Her specialty is conducting years-long campaigns to influence public opinion, gently rinsing controversy from issues…
Before arriving at the White House in late 2010, Ms. Schake was one of the leading architects in California’s fight for gay marriage, initiating a lawsuit against Proposition 8, the state’s ban on gay marriage, along with Chad Griffin, then her business partner, now president of the Human Rights Campaign and a top Obama donor. She worked on recasting gay partners as upstanding mothers and fathers who just wanted to be married like all the other parents in the PTA…
In other words, she fits right in: she’s a top notch propagandist. Or as we like to refer to it around here “raising people’s consciousness.”
Oh, and by the way, Kristina is also the one who brought us the “softer side of Lady M” – remember? Just like one of us, slipping out for a little cheap shopping at Target?
Yep. That was Kristina. She’s brilliant. Just like everyone else around here.
That’s why we’re WINNING!
Butt back to Big Guy’s important ABC interview: he spills the beans on what he and the girls will be getting Lady M for Mother’s Day:
President Obama says he and daughters Sasha and Malia will be “concocting some things” for first lady Michelle Obama in honor of Mother’s Day, to “make sure that she knows how much we love her and how much we appreciate her.”
“She deserves to be spoiled,” Obama said of his wife in an exclusive interview with ABC News’ Robin Roberts.
Oh, and I almost forgot! Big Guy’s coming out wasn’t the only Gay event going on around here yesterday. We also enjoyed a wonderful concert last night at the Big White in honor of this year’s Congressional Gershwin Awards. No, I don’t know why Congress gives Gershwin Awards either, butt I can check into it. I think it started out as either a pork barrel project or a grant from the National Endowment of Arts. Now it’s just a big party.
Anyway guess who was here – again: Stevie Wonder! He’s been here almost as many times as the 3 Hilary Rosens. As usual, we had the photo embargo in play due to this being an exclusive television broadcast, butt you can enjoy the entire show on our PBS funded network on May 21: check local listings!
Here are a few shots I was able to nab:
Lady M, Big Guy and Burt Bacharach; listening attentively. Big Guy, all ears.Lady M’s Randy Jackson style standing O (waiting for the others to stand, as directed)
Other performers included Diana Krall, Mike Myers, Sheryl Crow and Lyle Lovett. Everyone’s still trying to figure out what Mike Myers was doing there - aside from the fact that he’s an international man of mystery (like Big Guy) and a humongous fan and donor of BO’s. Here he is singing “What’s up, Pussycat” with Dionne Warwick and Stevie.
That’s Diane Krall behind Mike and Dionne, butt I can’t find any more pictures of her from last night – skinny white girl, you know. Then they sang some of Big Guy’s favorite show tunes from Promises, Promises! and called it a night.
Since the evening was dedicated to the music of Bacharach and David, we didn’t have any Conga lines or spontaneous outbreaks of Dougie dancin’. And while it was still fun, it wasn’t like anyone “died and went to black heaven” fun.
Anyway, that’s all for now. Tonight’s the big Dinner with Bo and George at George’s hacienda; and while I can’t reveal their names yet, I can tell you that the winners in the $15 million lottery for the Won are fired up!
I understand the evenings entertainment will include make-overs by Hollywood professionals!