When Big Guy told the Press Corpse at his Pop Up Presser yesterday that he didn’t call Romney a felon he was technically correct: he didn’t call Romney a felon himself: somebody else did that for him.
I guess what he actually said was that “nobody accused Romney of being a felon.”
“Either Mitt Romney, through his own words and his own signature, was misrepresenting his position at Bain to the SEC, which is a felony,” or he was misrepresenting his position at Bain to the American people to avoid responsibility for some of the consequences of his investments.”
I’m sure you’ve already heard this story: Finding a way to smear Romney was an important job for Team Obama and Everybody was asked to do it. Everybody was sure Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it. Somebody got angry because it was Everybody’s job. Everybody thought Anybody would do it, but Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn’t do it. It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done. (h/t: Abbott & Costello)
Surprisingly, that wasn’t even the big news coming out of Big Guy’s Pop Up Presser; this was:
News only because most people learn that you get “called into account” for “just making stuff up” by the 3rd or 4th grade. Otherwise, they learn it much later in rehab. Butt Bo didn’t learn it until he was President? That is surprising! Most of his opponents accuse him of not doing learning at all.
Enough, however, about Big Guy. I know what you’re really interested in is how Lady M’s Healthy Eating Lunch went.
At least we didn’t wear our pink Cinderella pumps like we did at the 2010 Medal of Honor ceremony when the lovely blue/green morning glory frock debuted. They really would’ve clashed with the shower curtain in the background.
It was a lovely luncheon. The guests included the winners of Lady M’s “Kid’s Healthy Recipes” contests from 54 states. I know, I know: “what happened to the other 3 states MOTUS?” I’m not sure butt I guess there must be too much red meat in the food chain in Texas, Nebraska and Kansas to produce much healthy eating.
Michael’s salad recipe won him a spot at the table, butt he tells reporter steak is his favorite food.
And guess what!? Big Guy did another one of his famous Pop Up Appearances at the luncheon too! I guess he really does need every youth vote he can get.
For his part Big Guy warned the group not to spill anything on the floor:
“I only have one request for you, and that is try not to drop any scraps on the floor, because Bo is on a diet right now, and he will eat anything that he sees, especially some of the tasty meals that you guys have prepared.”
There he goes again, “making stuff up.” The truth is Little Bo is losing weight because he refuses to eat all the “delicious” “scraps” that people around here keep “dropping” on the floor right after someone squeals “Eeuuuu! What is this crap? I wouldn’t feed that to the dog!”
Don’t worry, I’m still looking out for Little Bo. He shows up at my little bunker every evening for his ration of Slim Jims, Snausages and Little Debbies.
As for the luncheon, all I can say is they all knew what they were getting themselves into. It’s not as if it was hailed as a “delicious eating lunch” so nobody should have been surprised about the kale “chips”
sauerkraut “sloppy joes” and zucchini “fries”
You’re kidding, right? Even the journolists had a little fun with this crap:
First Lady Michelle Obama served a healthy meal to kids today, attending the official “Kids’ State Dinner.” The event was held at the White House to promote the First Lady’s “Lets Move” anti-obesity initiative.
Here is the menu, which was composted of winning recipes submitted by children for the contest. (via the pool report)
I’m not sure if that’s a typo or an editorial comment on Lady M’s anti-obesity initiative.
We also had our dinner date last night with the lucky (and diverse)
winners of Big Guy’s billions of campaign contributors. Butt I’m a little tired of talking about food in the same context as other icky things so that will have to wait for another day.
PS: Don’t forget to vote for Baby Wyatt!