Friday, September 7, 2012

Every Rooster Has its Day, or, from Rock Star Rooster to Capon

After listening to Big Guy’s acceptance speech, Clara Peller1 had just one question:

Wendys-Wheres-the-Beef“Where’s the Beef?”

Sounds like a lot of political pundits share her concern. Perhaps Jennifer Rubin summarized Big Guy’s Big Read best:

It would have been better had he not spoken. Seriously. Like an aging rock star, President Obama, in a downsized venue, with downsized proposal and spewing downsized rhetoric only reminded us how far he has fallen from the heady days of 2008. The man, the agenda and the aura are faint imitations of their 2008 incarnations. And most importantly, he put forth an agenda that was entirely, and obviously, lacking, one that didn’t begin to match the demands of our time.

old obamaThere’s nothing pretty about an aging rock star

Even our own lapdog beat reporter for the Daily Beast essentially called “The Speech”  a prevent-defense, saying it was “pedestrian and overconfident:”

This was the rhetorical equivalent, forgive the football metaphor, of running out the clock: Obama clearly thinks he’s ahead and just doesn’t need to make mistakes. But when football teams do that, it often turns out to be the biggest mistake of all, and they lose.

Big on vision, small on details, big on straw men, small on facts; and that’s not just me complaining; that’s what our lapdogs are putting on the wire! And the fact checkers are even worse, red-flagging it all over the place.

I don’t think BO’s actually “off-shored” any of his old promises butt I can tell you this, he sure has downsized them: from “millions of new manufacturing jobs including 5 million in green energy alone” to “1 million new jobs in manufacturing,” from “cutting the deficit in half by the end of my first term” to…well, he didn’t actually say in “The Speech” what he was going to do about the deficit. He just said the the Republicans can’t fix it either. So much for HOPE.

So enough about “The Speech.” Let’s talk about “The Dress” instead. A sexy little off-the-mismatched-shoulders number that would be as comfortable on a luxury cruise or a cocktail party on Martha’s Vineyard as it was central stage at the DNC.

like mama like daughter

For the Big Read, Granny R re-cycled her “evil Panda” frock from Val-Jar’s daughter’s wedding (BTW, we’re still waiting for those expensive wedding gifts to be redirected to Big Guy’s campaign fund).

mo jilly2You may see a mean Mickey, butt I see angry Pandas

The frock is by a little known designer, Laura Smalls who also designed the lovely little butt-tucker that Lady M wore earlier this week to the GLBT luncheon:

upholstered butt

So while Big Guy may not have many bragging rights in the business building department,  Lady M can chalk up yet another small dress designer business that she’s launched into the stratosphere. So when BO tells Ms. Small  “You didn’t build that, somebody else did that for you!” she’ll probably agree.

mo jilly2

Kudo’s to Laura: we may have to look at MO’s bony mis-matched shoulders,


butt at least she  covered the knobby knees.

mo bo knees

moFor the first time in my MOTUS life, I’m proud of my FLOTUS.

Also released today, right on schedule, good news about jobs! Here’s the actual CNN headline: August Jobs Report: Hiring slows, unemployment falls. I know, I know: that might surprise you, as it does seem counterintuitive. Butt you’ve probably forgotten about our Obama-Mathamagicals. (click here for a football analogy on how this play works) 

Just remember how this works: the more people we take OUT of the workforce, the smaller the denominator. The smaller the denominator, the lower the unemployment rate. So by “disappearing” all those pesky people from “my so-called labor participation rate” who have given up HOPE, the fewer people we show as unemployed and the better the unemployment number looks.

We have a few more tricks we use too, butt I can’t divulge everything.


So, after all the fact checking, pulse taking and poll taking I’m afraid the best grade I can give Big Guy for his Big Read is a solid B+, and even that’s on the curve. However, due to the robust Jobs report turned in this week, I’m going to give him extra-credit and upgrade it to an A-.

The Jobs Report, Just out this Week:

Jobs Jobs Jobs copyH/T Fausta


1 RIP Clara (1902-1987)

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