The severe threat of the rising ocean that refused to recede as Big Guy commanded forced him to cut his campaign short yesterday. Butt not before delivering some very expensive pizzas to his campaign staff in Orlando.
So he returned to Washington
cold, wet and bent
to look presidential monitor the situation:
No, wait - that’s a campaign stop in New Hampshire - here we are in the Situation Room, looking presidential:
Monitoring the rise of the rogue ocean
Reports are now rolling into the situation room that the storm surge was caused by a group of Oceanists whipped into a frenzy over the release of a video denigrating their prophet Neptune.
“Rise to smite the infidels who insult me!”
Once the militant waves organized, with backup from the wind, they stormed ashore wreaking damage, death and destruction everywhere in their path.
Sandy turns Atlantic City pier into Stonehenge at sea
Both New York Nanny Mayor Bloomberg and New Jersey Governor Christie requested backup and assistance from the Coast Guard, butt somebody in the chain of command ordered them to stand down for some unknown reason. Coast Guard Commandant Admiral Robert J. Papp Jr. issued a statement saying that “no one at any level in the Coast Guard told anybody not to help those in need; claims to the contrary are simply inaccurate.” There has been no further information forthcoming from the situation room, nor is any expected. Butt I did hear that Fox news will be doing a special on it this weekend.
Meanwhile, the White House has issued a formal request that YouTube take down the offensive Video in hopes of calming the roiling seas.
Our climate protection Czar, Al Gore, also issued a statement saying “this video is disgusting and reprehensible…still there is no justification, none at all, to respond to this video by violently attacking the East Coast.”
So that’s our story, and we’re sticking to it. So go right ahead Charles, have your fun, criticizing Big Guy’s handling of this very serious situation:
H/T Gateway Pundit
“Well, he says he’s not concerned about the impact on the elections. I’m sure he’s very sincere on that. But it is a little odd that he shows up in the Briefing Room where he hasn’t shown up in the Briefing Room for what, a month-and-a-half? For Libya or for anything else for that matter. Then you get the photo-ops of him in the Situation Room deploying I guess the utility crews who restore power all over America. Where you would think he might want to use the Situation Room to convene high level people during the night hours when our people were under attack in Benghazi. It’s hard to look at this, playing the president, playing the Commander in Chief in what’s a natural disaster that really doesn’t require a lot of from the White House. It’s up to the governors mostly. The White House and the government release money. That’s all they do and he’s really good at releasing money.”
BO arrives at his Greek Columns in the briefing room to condemn the anti-Neptunists for their role in the ocean’s uprising.
The fact is, this crisis is so serious that Big Guy’s Big Brains are busy as we speak figuring out the best way to handle this tragedy. After consulting with out international team of expert campaign advisors:
I can report that we are seriously considering the need to cancel next Tuesday’s election. It doesn’t look like we can suspend it indefinitely, so we’re looking at rescheduling it to sometime in the 2016-18 timeframe.
I’m sure you’ll understand the need for the delay, considering all of the man-made disasters we are currently dealing with: sinking poll numbers, bad news on the jobs front, and that whole Benghazigate affair that should have been resolved by now due to under-reporting.
So we ask for your patience as we continue to deal with this huge, unexpected Storm Of The Century, So Far (SOTCSF).
H/T Election 2012 Real Clear Politics
Please stay tuned for further developments, which we will report when and if we determine you can handle them.
In the mean time, thank you for your continued support and for those of you who wish to make a donation to the victims of this horrible storm, please send you donations to ObamaForAmerica.com.
Linked By: Clarice on JustOneMinute, and Mireille Buser and Robert Lee Garnett and Lalaa Land on facebook, and bleu66 on Politico, and MRM on twitter, and BlogsLucianneLoves, and NOBO2012 on Free Republic, Thanks!
Posts
