Wednesday, January 9, 2013

A Smaller Slice? I Ordered Pizza! Pizza!

You didn’t think that fundamentally transforming America was going to be cheap did you?

Perhaps we should reconsider the prospect of a “Treasury Secretary Krugman.”  Because, frankly, Pauly’s idea about minting a trillion dollar platinum coin is the best idea on the table right now, and it smacks of the sort of creative, out of the box thinking that has made Big Guy’s Amerika great.


And speaking of fundamentally transforming our economy, have you heard what Hasbro is up to? They have plans for fundamentally transforming the game of Monopoly: the last existing format for educating children on how capitalism works.


Here’s the deal: Hasbro has launched an effort to introduce a new token (a robot, helicopter, guitar, diamond ring or cat – your choice) to the perennially popular board game. Butt instead of just adding it, they have decided to get rid of one of the existing iconic game tokens (shoe, battleship, race car, thimble, top hat, wheel barrow, Scottie dog or – my favorite, the iron).

This is the worst “CHANGE” since M&Ms scrapped the delicious caramel colored M&M and replaced it with a blue one. Now do you see what Chuck Hagle was talking about - more handiwork work of the the powerful Jewish lobby. I’m sure you agree that M&M’s haven’t tasted the same since.

Butt back to the Monopoly controversy, yes, it’s true: they’ve bought into the Regime’s zero-sum game theory. Why does it always have to be a fixed-sized pizza with these new economy people? Have they not heard of the best capitalistic invention of the 20th century, Pizza! Pizza!®?

pizza pizzaBuy one, get one free! bo pizza guyGovernment special: buy one get 3 free!

Instead of replacing an iconic token why not just add a new one? That way one more person can plan and earn his own slice of the pizza.

In my humble opinion, if they insist on replacing an icon for a postmodern idea, the new token should be a slice of pizza: modern, butt in a rather postmodern, ironic way.

And finally, since we are talking about rich white men – and aren’t we always – I offer up one final point to ponder: with the proceeds from the sale of his Al-TeeVee-ra to Al-Jeezera, Al Gore’s net worth has now exceeded that of one of the most despised wealthy white one percenters of all time: Mitt Romney.

mitt bo presToo rich, too white, too right

Now that is ironic! Mitt made his money the old fashioned way; he earned it. And he didn’t even do it by trading in phantom carbon credits (dangerously close to fraudulent in the strictest sense of the term) or from Arab oil (you know, the root cause of global warming and the stuff that Algore says we have to break our addiction to?).

fat-al-gore-prayAlgore, our Qatar Hero, or as we refer to him around here: “the Snake Oil Sheik”

Linked By: BlogsLucianneLoves, and NOBO2012 on Free Republic, Thanks!