Sunday, January 6, 2013

Beware the Red-headed Woodpecker: They Might be Packin’

I see that Joey “spread-your-legs-you’re-gonna-get-frisked” Biden has been busy again. He’s the hardest working man in government business. Last week he all butt single handedly built the diving platform for us to jump off the fiscal cliff:

high dive

And now I see that he’s close to developing awesome legislation that will apparently prevent all future mass murders – something nobody’s been able to accomplish yet!

He did cheat a little on this one though. He’s taken the Affordable Care Act template and plans to use it as a road map for how to ram it down our throats get it approved; i.e. passing it before any of us find out what’s in it. Other successful tactics learned from the successful ramming passing of the Affordable Care Act that Joey expects to employ include getting some of the big special interests on board by promising them stuff (aka, “crony capitalism”), imposing fines (aka, “taxes”) for non-compliance and writing the 900 page House Rule in standard, incomprehensibly convoluted language that will require thousands of new government employees to 1) write regulations, and 2) enforce them. How can this not be a win-win?

I think we’re planning to brand it the “Recordable Gun Care Act.”

Joey just makes this all this stuff look so easy. No wonder everybody wants him to get his own reality show! He’s just a natural. 

Joe-Biden-reality-tv-show1I'm thinking “Delaware Dolls and Dudes”

And maybe after her head is better, and Big Guy has found a suitable replacement, Hil would be interested in partnering up for what she does best - being a co-star:

bo joe hil

She would make a great sidekick, sort of like Regis’ Kathy Lee, before the younger, prettier Kelly broke them up.

kathie-lee-gifford-regis-philbin-kelly-rippaEven after face disfiguring cosmetic surgery, Kathie couldn’t compete with Kelly. Look at the guns she’s packin'!

And if Hil isn’t interested, I don’t think Kathie Lee has been doing much since she broke up with Regis and had herself made-over; maybe she’d be available as Joey’s sidekick!


Oh whoops! I meant Kathie Lee Gifford, not Kathy Griffin. Although, Joey might just click with the little red-headed woodpecker, if you know what I mean Winking smile.

joey b smooch copyJoey B and the Red-headed Woodpecker

And now for some really BIG news: you’ve probably all heard by now that Zilla’s Second Annual Zilla Awards for Awesomeness in the Dextrosphere! have been announced. Here are the most relevant, and self-agrandizing results:

Of course there are many more who made the list, butt to borrow a phrase from Big Guy, “I won!” And so did all of you! Thanks Zilla!

ZILLA AWARD-2We’re all winners on this bus.

P.S. Don’t miss Clarice’s Pieces today (The Democrats War on Science Aids Our Enemies), it’s another great one. And I’m not just saying that because she linked to moi, honest. Thanks Clarice!

Linked By: BlogsLucianneLoves, and NOBO2012 on Free Republic, Thanks!