As many of you know, this is the time of year that I, MOTUS, pack up for my annual cross country trek for a complete system checkup and update. Ever since the transformational change of NASA into an Islamic outreach group I’ve had to travel to Hill Air Force Base in Utah for this overhaul. And as fate would have it that always brings me into proximity of Dewey from Detroit’s winter bunker in Park City right around Sundance time.
So, once again, I’ll be able to provide you local color (black/noir) commentary on the Sundancers and – if I’m lucky enough to score some of those priceless tickets for cutting edge cinema from Hollywood “independents” - I’ll stick around a few weeks and do a couple of my famous movie reviews.
In case you don’t think I really need a systems update, I submit the following evidence: a photo from one of our Big White private holiday parties for friends and large benefactors. It almost went public, and as you can see, my trans-imaging system is completely out of alignment:
Oye! The famous Liz Taylor slip-dress from our South American wine tour in 2011! As you can see, the “camera” has added about 50 pounds, right around the southern hemisphere.
Imagine if this had gone public! I’d have been demoted just like Gen. Carter Ham and Gen. David Rodriquez. Although seriously, I’m not so sure another stint at the Smithsonian would be all that bad after all.
Any hoo, in other important news: have you heard about the special iceberg being built in honor of Big Guy’s first, historic, second inaugural? It’s a very special black iceberg!
I understand the iceberg itself is an exact replica of the one that sank the Titanic. I don’t know why, butt scuttlebutt has it that Sub-Zero hasn’t been selling very many of those high-priced appliances lately, maybe, due to the Won’s completely transformed economy.
Anyway, if you’re lucky enough to be invited to the party where the iceberg is on display, I hear that Big Guy may be making a very special version of Hawaiian shave ice, flavored with Black Sambuca. Yum!
Oh, and in case you think that the iceberg may be historic simply because it’s black I’m sorry to have to disappoint you. It seems that another one was created back in 2000 when it appeared for a short while that Al Gore was the next president of the USA:
The Al Gore memorial black “love poodle” iceberg was created in 2000 in anticipation of his presidential inaugural in January 2001. Last seen languishing off the coast of Labrador, waiting to be melted by global warming.
UPDATE: iMOTUS has officially hit the road, so iWILL be checking in sporadically along the way. Keep the conversation going.