Full disclosure: I didn’t watch a second of Hollywood’s annual “We Are The World” show last night. But I did hear that Russia hacked the election! That’s right, they tried to award the Best Picture Oscar to La La Land rather than the rightful candidate, Moonlight, in a dramatic climax to what was by all reports a very long evening.
Fortunately the treachery was discovered in time to snatch the statuette for Best Picture Oscar away from the announced winner (La La Land – about white people singing and dancing in LA) and hand it over to its rightful owner (Moonlight – about a black guy schtruggling in Miami).
People knew immediately it was either a mistake or sabotage as there was so much blowback against last year’s #OscarsSoWhite that social justice demanded #OscarsSoBlack this year (Mission Accomplished!).
In a scenario that perfectly illustrates that actors are only as good as the lines they’re given to read, Warren Beatty and Faye Dunaway opened the envelope announcing the winner for best picture they’d been given and read the line that was inside: La La Land. Don’t you hate it when you’re give the wrong script? Anyway the Russian chicanery was discovered and an AWKWARD situation ensued.
This little mistake unfortunately overshadowed all the clever Trump-bashing throughout the night by the clever Not-My-President representatives of the Entertainment Class.
So yeah, let’s let these Einsteins of Hollywood run the country. And in case you don’t think they’re up to the task allow me to run some of their credits, as forwarded by SilverLady last week. Even if you’ve seen them before it doesn’t hurt to remind everyone just how smart they all are:
LEONARDO DeCAPRIO's self-declared climate expertise enables him to speak on the world's environmental issues with a high-school education. He never took a college biology, chemistry, physics or climatology course, yet he knows more than most scientists. He proved that by addressing climate change before a full gathering of the UN.
SEAN PENN's quick takes on everything put him at the lofty level of an Einstein. He visited Iraq once and became an expert on that country. The same for Iran. He also became buddies with the brutal Venezuelan communist Hugo Chavez and consistently lauded that murderous thug. Now that Chavez is gone and Venezuelans are raiding dumpsters for food scraps, Penn is having a rare silent moment. Penn deserves some credit for becoming a world-affairs genius based on two years of auto mechanics classes at Santa Monica College.
KATY PERRY's passion about politics and economics freed her to quit high school at 15 without compromising her expert status. Asked the square root of 64, the name given the Constitution's first 10 amendments and to explain PE ratio, her answer might be, "Republicans are for the rich." She recently demonstrated wizardry by making an anti-Trump video. It suggested the new president would commit acts similar to forced World War II lockups of loyal Japanese-Americans. Perry probably did not know the internment plan was developed and executed by DEMOCRAT President Roosevelt.
ROBERT DeNIRO must also be a quick learner. He acquired amazing scientific knowledge before dropping out of high school. He knows so much about geology that he joined Artists Against Fracking. (All the producing wells in his native Manhattan must have provided first-hand experience.) He's also an expert on pediatric medicine, enabling him to speak often against vaccinating infants and children.
HARRY BELAFONTE is another multiple-subject whiz who needed little formal education. Some people might think this talented singer might limit his words to songs since his IQ is so low. Don't worry. Despite advancing age, he remains expert on most things. When black people of greater intelligence (that's most black people) say something moderate or conservative, he hurls the N word at them. Decades ago, he loudly denounced Reagan's elimination of CETA, the Comprehensive Employment Training Act. It was one of the most wasteful federal programs ever -- many vanished dollars, few jobs. Belafonte tore into Reagan during an interview Finally, the interviewer asked Belafonte what CETA stood for. Belafonte had no clue. He knew almost nothing about the act.
ROSIE O'DONNELL was my personal favorite long before her hateful remark that Trump's 10-year-old son looked autistic. Her coarse philosophy must be that if you say something loudly, it need not be correct. Her bombast probably created lots of turmoil with both the women she "married." She also must have skipped chemistry during her high-school education. Otherwise, she would have not have offered "proof" that 9/11 was an inside job. She often bellowed that planes could not have brought down the Twin Towers because "steel doesn't burn." This constant jackass must not know that high temperatures DO reduce steel's strength.
AL SHARPTON would be America's greatest at-large criminal, if not for Hillary's tens of millions swapped for influence and favors. Sharpton owes nearly $5 million in delinquent taxes to IRS and New York state. Makes you wonder why NBC/MSNBC would ever hire him. Sharpton accumulated vast theological knowledge by age 9, when he was "ordained" as a preacher. He didn't need more than a high-school education to keep marching forward. His most successful high school class must have been Shystehood. Despite one scandal after another, his 2004 run for president stands out. The Federal Election Commission forced him to return $100,000 in taxpayer money provided by FEC. One of many abuses was his $145,146 charge for "Campaign letter preparation -- Kinko's." Later, FEC fined Sharpton $285,000.
JULIA ROBERTS proves that physical beauty does not ensure a beautiful brain. She had a fling at Georgia State University before pursuing acting lessons and joining a modeling group. Her acting and modeling skills guided her to such thoughtful observations as "Republican" comes between "reptile" and "repugnant" in the dictionary. Impressed?
BROOKE SHIELDS, an Obama supporter, verifies the Roberts theory -- that physical beauty does not guarantee a beautiful brain. During her days as a boisterous animal-rights supporter, Shields had a mink coat custom-made.
BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN could have been No. 1 on this list. He squabbled with nuns when in Catholic school. Transferring to a public school, he thought so little of the education experience that he skipped graduation. Had he gone to college, he might have majored in Hate 101. That's what we hear when he's not singing. He claims Trump is a "moron" who advocates "white nationalism." Springsteen demonstrates the analytical skills' void of most show-biz folk when he laments America's industrialization decline. Somebody please whisper to Springsteen that his party's business-crunching regulations and world-leading corporate tax rate compels U.S. manufacturers to go elsewhere. Finally, two others are outside the entertainment world, disqualifying them from winning an Oscar, Emmy or Grammy. Politicians Nancy Pelosi and Maxine Waters do compete for the Rock Head of the Year trophy each time they speak. Pelosi frequently wins with comments like needing to pass a bill "so we can find out what's in it." Waters has already locked up the 2017 trophy for suggesting a Trump impeachment over his campaign antics. Listen closely, Maxine. Presidents can be impeached only for what they do in office.