Economics and Wars and Religion. Oh My!

We’ve been on vacation so long that a whole “bunch ‘a stuff” has piled up on our plate. At the top of the list is getting our “no fat child’s behind” campaign “rolling” again, so to speak.

 Back to work and putting the Vacays behind us

And Big Guy has a pretty big “too do” list this week too: the economy, the war and religion.The 3 things that should never be discussed in polite society, which explains why it’s the only thing discussed in D.C. 

Yesterday Big Guy tackled the first item on his list, the economy, by holding a Rose Garden soiree to  blame the Republican’s for holding up our Recovery Slumber Summer.

Clearly, the thinking is because the gazillion dollars in stimulus spending haven't restored the economy, maybe some more will.

Wait, that can’t be right. That’s from the LA Times? Oh dear, maybe things are worse than anyone thought. Oh well, it still sounds like they’re behind us. And I think we have a plan: once we ram through our injection of more deficit welfare spending, the superiority of Keynesian economics will be put to rest once and for all. Keynes’ theory can be summed up thusly:

Lady M is sooo down with this plan. Butt some of our weaker links in Congress are beginning to feel a little woozy with the concept ahead of the mid-terms. Toes is going to “talk” to them. You know, to calm them down.

Next item on the list: “End the War in Iraq.” That can be checked off with the Big Speech tonight: Big Guy’s going to announce his follow-through on Bush’s plan to withdraw troops from Iraq by August 31. There is still some pesky violence in Baghdad and the Iraqis forgot to form their own government, but that’s because we forgot to follow through on the rest of Bush’s plan. Oh well, that’s the Iraqis’ problem now. We kept our campaign promise, and that’s all that counts.

I saw TOTUS’ last draft of the Big Speech and the plan is to blame Bush for the war, the violence and the deaths of Americans and Iraqi civilians. Big Guy will take credit for cleaning up the mess (he will  steer clear of the term “victory” – it’s a Bushism, and a symbol of American imperialism). We are thinking something more – ahh - nuanced. Like this:

Next on our list is to get that damn hole plugged. No, not the one in the Gulf: we’ve already taken car of that, so be sure to move it to our Mission Accomplished list too. No, now we’re talking about the one at Ground Zero. If someone would just fill in that damn hole, maybe people will stop carping about the teeny-weenie mosque going up around the corner as a memorial to 9/11.

And if they stop yapping about that, we assume they’ll finally stop questioning Big Guy’s spiritual leanings. Even our formerly supportive MSM are trying to be “edgy” now, by bringing this up. Brian Williams, for example asking why so many people think he’s a Mooselim:

Williams… asked Obama why so many people were uncertain about something so fundamental as his faith.

“I can’t spend all of my time with my birth certificate plastered on my forehead,”

Why is Big Guy bringing up his birth certificate when no one asked?  And besides, we’ve already addressed that one: fill-in Presidential press secretary Bill Burton advised everyone just a couple of weeks ago that Big Guy is a Christian, adding that “he prays every day.”

Not that he doesn't have good reason to – pray every day, that is - but given the touchiness of this whole issue, it seems as odd as Big Guy’s  “birth certificate on the forehead” comment. I have known quite a few Christians during my assignments here at the Big White. Some of them didn’t pray every day (yes, Bill, I’m talking about you). But do you know who does pray every day? Mooselims, that’s who. About 6 times a day. Pointing towards Mecca. With their shoes off (H/T Nick DiPaolo).

Official White House photo by Pete Souza:

OK, you explain it then.

Once In a Life Time: With God’s Will and Your Votes-updated

This is so-ooo embarrassing. Here I am, thinking that the strange dress that looks like it’s already been caught in the rain was my biggest problem. So naturally, that’s where I focused all my circuits. I failed to take in the whole frame. Because if there’s one thing Big Guy is really good at, as a rule, it’s the visuals.

So I totally was not ready for this:

“I was told there would be no geometry”

Van der Leun even gave it a musical reference, in case you missed the point:

You may ask yourself
How do I work this?
You may ask yourself
Where is that large automobile?
You may tell yourself
This is not my beautiful house!
You may tell yourself
This is not my beautiful wife!

— Talking Heads, Once in a Lifetime 1984

Inspired by Van der Leun’s insight, here’s the illustrated long version, set to music. In case you still don’t get it:

Once In A Lifetime

And you may find yourself living in a shotgun shack

 
And you may find yourself in another part of the world

And you may find yourself behind the wheel of a large automobile

And you may find yourself in a beautiful house,

with a beautiful wife

And you may ask yourself-Well...How did I get here?

Letting the days go by/let the water hold me down

Letting the days go by/water flowing underground

Into the blue again/after the money's gone

Once in a lifetime/water flowing underground.

And you may ask yourself
How do I work this?

 
And you may ask yourself
Where is that large automobile?

 
And you may tell yourself
This is not my beautiful house!

  
And you may tell yourself
This is not my beautiful wife!

 

And you may ask yourself
What is that beautiful house?

 
And you may ask yourself
Where does that highway go to?

And you may ask yourself
Am I right?...Am I wrong?

And you may tell yourself
MY GOD!...WHAT HAVE I DONE?

Cartoon: Dan Collins Cartoons

  
Letting the days go by/water flowing underground
Into the blue again/after the money's gone
Once in a lifetime/water flowing underground.

Same as it ever was...Same as it ever was...Same as it ever was...
Same as it ever was...Same as it ever was...Same as it ever was...
Same as it ever was...

Same as it ever was...

Like I said: with Big Guy, it’s all about visuals.

Linkie-Dinked by:

• iOwnTheWorld – BigFurHat
• Mommy Life
• Chickaboomer
• Ace of Spades

Thanks!

Our Final Day of Vacay with High Societe

Yesterday was our final full day of vacay, and we didn’t let it go to waste:

The family motorcaded from their rented farm compound for about 10 minutes, before turning into a private area not far from the beach they visited a week earlier. The new area looks out on Jobs Neck Pond, Edgartown Great Pond and, beyond that, the Atlantic Ocean.

Ha, ha! That’s a good one: “Jobs Neck Pond?” Although around here that’s pronounced “joab’s,” its as close as Big Guy’s been to anything like “jobs” all year. Of course, there’s always been some confusion over how to spell and pronounce that word:

As you might imagine, it really is a 4-letter word around here now.

And then, another awkward move: our scout’s GPS must have been jammed, because he missed his turn for our trip to our private beach, and the whole caravan had to – well - you know:

In the middle of Edgartown-West Tisbury Road, the motorcade, consisting of several SUVs, an ambulance and a half-dozen state police motorcycles, executed a U-turn and headed down to Oyster Pond Road , where they apparently headed to the beach.

That’s not exactly the best visual for our Recovery Summer is it? And I suppose the trolls at FOX News will try to connect the dots to Big Guy’s other U-turns: missile defense, prisoner abuse photos, Guantanamo trials, and, of course, our voting for the Mosque at Ground Zero, before we voted against it.

So as you might imagine, we are going to try to change the subject ASAP. Next week we’ll switch to the “Victory in Iraq” hype (which, if I remember correctly, was a war that Big Guy was against before he was for it).

The summer the oceans began to recede: rhetorically speaking.

But we’re not wasting any time getting people’s minds off our economy-on-life-support. We’re cutting our last day of vacay short  to fly to New Orleans for a commemorative 5 year anniversary of George W. Bush’s Katrina catastrophe. This is to remind everyone how badly President Bush screwed up in New Orleans because he hated black people. And Big Guy is simpatico.

We’ll be doing one of our famous touch-‘n-goes in the Crescent City (no Mooselim jokes, please – NOLA has enough problems as it is). While we’re there, Big Guy and TOTUS will be delivering a stirring, empathetic, and emotional speech. Or at least that’s what he ordered.

But sadly, this marks the end of our life-style of the rich and famous for this year. We all had an action-packed, fun-filled time on the Rock, and will sure miss the good times.

Banana Mo 

 

BO’s good walk in the woods

View Full Album

             

 

 

 

 

 

 

Goodbye to all our new best friends on the Rock. Till next year!

So, we’re puttin’ our vacation, and our Recovery Summer behind us. Time to stop playing with our little balls:

Another Thousand Words                                         via Larwyn

It looks like the country is going to need some much bigger balls in order to restore America:

  So bring it!

Our Recovery Summer: We Could Use Those Jaws of Life About Now.

We dined last night on the very beach where Jaws was filmed! Butt more on that later. Yesterday was jam packed. Breakfast, then a bicycle ride for the whole family for a whole hour. Then Big guy played a round with Mayor Bloomberg and Vern Jordan -  golf, that is. Lady M took lunch, went to her spa treatments, and enjoyed afternoon cocktails and snacks before dressing for dinner.

“Oooohhh boys! I think she's come back for her noon feeding.” Prof. Hooper

Which unfortunately I’m not permitted to release any pictures of, but trust me: it’s just as well.

The mayor forgot to pack golf pants, and had to borrow a pair from MO. And look! Room in the back pockets for two Blackberries – with space to spare !

Big Guy’s day was not all play however. He took a conference call on the plummeting rate of GDP growth; and then chatted Mayor Bloomberg up in the clubhouse for 15 minutes about the economy before hitting the links:

“The president and Mayor Bloomberg took the opportunity to discuss plans for short- and long-term economic growth at a pivotal point in our recovery,”

I wasn’t there, but I heard they discussed Bloomie’s business interests in Dubai, and how we might want to expand the new Finance Bill to include some aspects of Shari’a finance law. You know, to improve our understanding of the religion of peace? Besides, China might get tired of buying our toxic debt and we’ll need to find a new candy man.

But like I said, I wasn’t there. It’s just hearsay.

“I'm familiar with the fact that you are going to ignore this particular problem until it swims up and bites you in the ass.” Prof. Hooper ( Photo from LIFE via BNI)

and, “I'm familiar with the fact that [YOU, TOO] are going to ignore this particular problem until it swims up and bites you in the ass:”

Housing Starts? More like housing stops. Lowest levels since – well, the graph doesn’t really go back that far.

We capped the day off with a dinner visit to the fishing community of Menemsha, where some of the actual scenes from the 1975 Steven Spielberg blockbuster "Jaws" were filmed. But don’t think the president of the Free (for now) World is intimidated by sharks.

 “You’ve got city hands, Mr. Hooper”

No sir!They’ve been swimming around him for years. 

And because we wanted to be sure to catch the sunset at the Beach Plum (owned by eco-filmmaker and environmentalist Bob Nixon – my goodness there’s a lot of money in that eco-business!), we had to skip the NAACP event hosted elsewhere on the Rock, as well as the dinner beforehand. A shame too, because Big Guy’s Harvard BFF, Professor Henry Louis Gates Jr. was attending. Gosh! We haven’t had a chance to catch up with him since he was arrested last year by those racist cops in Cambridge.

 Proof that Big Guy’s NOT a Muslim. (Having a beer with Prof. Gates and Stupid, last August.)

But we had a lovely dinner at the the Beach Plum Inn. As their Website explains: “Since we are located in one of the many dry towns on Martha's Vineyard, feel free to BYOB.” So we did.

 

 

 

 

 

 

I know it seems like a lot, but ValJar came with us. And although the restaurant is famous for their gorgeous sunsets over the ocean, somehow, we missed it.

No biggie. We revolve around our own Orb.

Bikin’ in tha G-Block: Git Yer Motor Runnin’

News Wrap-up at 11:00, on the 9th day of our vacay. Inside the G-Block (Shep Smith’s now defunct 7th segment):

 

Today, we’re bikin’ tha Rock, inside yer G-Block. Tha G-Block: I wish it started with an “O,” butt it dOn’t.

 

If yer new to tha G-Block or ya just don’t remember tha rules ya can go to tha original G-Block post “More Body Scanners In: The G-Block.”

WARNIN’

THAT ORIGINAL G-BLOCK POST

CONTAINS IMAGES THAT MIGHT CAUSE

YA TO LOSE YER LUNCH

 

In a nutshell, here in tha G-Block, we drop endin’ “g”s and anythin’ else we feel like, that makes us sound like the WONs when they’re talkin’ like the peeps. Ya know, like they do when they’re on the campaign stump in the inner city, or tourin’ a battery plant.

 

A Little Travelin’ Music – Born To Be Wild: Steppenwolf

 

First up in G, Big Guy’s takin’ to tha trails of Correllus State Forest on Martha's Vineyard in West Tisbury. Last year, everyone wuz hatin’ on Bo for settin’ a bad example by not wearin’ a helmut. So this year we’re sportin’ a colorful brain bucket. No wise cracks!

 

Git Yer Motor Runnin’                          (photo:AP) 

 

 Tha “Capt. America” look we were goin’ for. I think it worked, don’t you?

 

Next up, we see Big Guy givin’ Wee Won-1 a crash course in leadership. He’d teach her more, butt TOTUS is back at Blue Herron Farm, chillin’.

 

“Leadin’ Wee Won-1 and tha free universe”  (photo: AP)

 

Tha whole family is goin’ along for tha ride, showin’ their patriotism with bikes in red, blue and...yellow?

 

MO brings up the “rear” banana bike style (photo: Daylife)

WARNIN’: Big Dog On Trail!

And there’s a guy walkin’ his pooch too. (photo: Daylife)

Yer Closin’ Glam shot of the day: in “G” (photo: Daylife)

And that’s yer news, and tha G-Block on this 9th day of our vacation on the Rock 2010.

 

And now, …here comes Bill!

 

 

Loco is Definitely Better

Well, it’s official now. We have confirmation from AP, we are better than you:

And the White House has let it be known that the meals being cooked at their rented vacation compound feature all manner of things from farms and gardens on this island off Cape Cod.

Thank goodness! Chef, who flew in from the Big White to cook for us here on the Rock, is totally committed to the locavore ethic. As are all the local restaurateurs:

Mary Kenworth, owner of SR Restaurant, displays her tomatoes 

"Our real focus and mission, what we're really committed to, is local and sustainable food," said Mary Kenworth, owner of the State Road Restaurant in West Tisbury, where the Obamas dined Tuesday night.

Locavores on the prowl

Which is to say - in addition to demonstrating a “we’re better than you” attitude – that we are only going to eat things from local farms, ranches and fisheries. And there-in lies our first problem.

The local fishermen have apparently launched a protest, complaining that, thanks to Big Guy’s NOAA restrictions on fishing, their livelihood and very survival is being threatened. Now that’s ironic.

It sure won’t look good if we can’t get locally-caught lobster thermador and lobster tempura on our vacay next year. We’ll have one of our little people look into this right away. Thanks for the hat tip!

H/T Local Fishermen

Although, for future reference, if you fishermen really want to get Big Guy’s attention, you may wish to consider following JWF’s advice , and just wave a FREE GAZA banner.

  Protesting: one place where global trumps local

New marketing campaign for locavore shrimp from the Gulf: “They come pre-coated with oil, so you can just fry them in boiling water!”

Butt back to our “better than thou” eating sensibilities here on the Rock. I just wish to point out that the basis for our sense of moral superiority is not simply  healthy eating – although we’re all over that too – it’s much bigger:

supporting local farms, fishermen and ranches not only yields fresher foods, it indirectly helps preserve rural areas against encroaching development and minimizes environmental damage from mega-farms, slaughterhouses and long-distance trucking.

Yep, it prevents all those horrible things that require the use of carbon-based energy.Those horrifying corporate farms, packers and transportation companies that have managed to somehow produce enough food to feed the whole world, and in the process given all of our children fat behinds.

“I’ll have a bucket of that locally made double chocolate death wish ice cream”

Pure evil. Corporate farming I mean. So that’s where we’re focusing our attention. Everything else seems to be under control.

 

BREAKING VACATION ECONOMIC NEWS UPDATE:

U.S. second-quarter GDP revised to 1.6% growth from initial reading of 2.4% growth.

WHOOPS. THAT WAS UNEXPECTED!

Well, at least our GDP is growing, just not as fast as some of our other ASSetts. We’ll have our little people get right on that too.

 Nice Job!