Saturday, October 17, 2009

Sexual Healing

While Mo and I were covering Florida, Big Guy was  busy schmoozing in New Orleans and San Francisco; raising money for the Democratic Party. It was just like being back on the campaign trail – only we get to live in Big White! Because we won!

michelle big at lgbt june 27 08Anyway, a little cooling off period after that Latina melt down was probably a good idea. This Saturday’s date night is probably off anyway.


Things went as well as they could have for Big Guy. The homies in New Orleans are getting a little impatient because BO hasn’t rebuilt their homes yet like he promised. But they’re cutting him some slack because, well, he’s not Bush.

Meanwhile, up in San Fran, we had an intimate little dinner with Nancy Pelosi and friends ($34,000 per couple, which guarantees intimacy, even if Big Guy is going to be there).

Obama_Pelosi_E_20091016102624 Bo and Nancy: together on the fund raising trail 

Meanwhile, the LGBT  (that’s lesbian-gay-bi-sexual-transgendered for those of you in fly-over who live under a flower pot) community in SF is apparently growing a little restless.  A few of them even had the audacity to protest, if you can imagine.

It seems they don’t think BO is keeping his promises to them either. They thought by now they would be able to legally marry in all 50 states, ask and tell in the military and provide all the floral arrangements at the White House.

But it seems he hasn’t delivered on the gold-standard of promises yet: a transgendered person on the White House staff. And it’s not as if they haven’t applied. Theresa Sparks, San Francisco Human Rights Director, said:

"Anecdotally, I found out they weren't ready for a transgender person to go through a senate confirmation hearing," Sparks says, noting her information comes from talking "to people who've talked to people."

And that’s always a good source. That’s where ABC, NBC, CBS, CNN and MSNBC get there information too. Although in this case it seems she has hard evidence to back up her anecdotal claim. It seems Ms/Mr Sparks her/himself applied for 2 positions in the administration. Here’s what she discovered:

"I was told, anecdotally: A. I'm too controversial and they don't want to put someone like me in a senate confirmation hearing, and; B. It was too risky to put someone up for a nomination who'd worked for a sex toy company.Sparks was CEO of San Francisco sex toy retailer Good Vibrations until last fall.

theresa sparks Theresa Sparks, Whatever.

I think I have an idea that results in everything ending well for everybody. Theresa: if you could supply the right “toy”, date night would be back on and you could be appointed Intimate Relationship Czar (no Senate confirmation required).