Looking back on it now, it was a bad idea. I thought maybe I could help smooth things over around here by getting Lady M to do one of her favorite things: have a bunch of people in to admire her. Boy, did that veer off path in a hurry.
I just thought, it’s our first historic anniversary - lets get dressed up in one of our new outfits, and greet the little people visiting Big White! Just like we did on our first historic day. We selected a black and white metallic tweed bathrobe number by Moschino with 4 pockets trimmed in black bias tape. It was accompanied by a matching cap sleeved dress under the robe. We couldn’t decide whether to pair it up with our winter “Hot Chillys” long johns or our black pole dancing boots. I was leaning towards the Chillys, but MO went with the boots. We took Bo along to log some quality time with MO.
I was reflecting MO quite well if I do say so myself. USA Today (one of those Rupert rags) even gave us some good ink:
Folks who took the regular White House tour this morning got an extraordinary visit with one of the building's residents: first lady Michelle Obama.
Obama, along with the family dog Bo, greeted guests as they lined up on the main floor of the White House.
"We are marking our one-year anniversary here," Obama told one surprised guest. To another startled visitor, she simply said, "Surprise!"
Things started off great. The first person through the door even gushed that seeing Lady M was a “dream”. My FLOTUS was pulling out of her funk: and that was good for her, me and Bo.
In hindsight, I should have known that it wouldn’t end well. I should have realized that Bo would steal the show – and, frankly, Lady M is only here for the show.
I had to cut most of the video scenes. Too painful. But here’s a sample from before Bo took us over the cliff.
The final straw came when a bunch of kids walked in, saw Lady M, then saw Bo, and exclaimed, “Bo!”.
MO’s icy stare nearly broke my lens. You’ve seen the stare I’m talking about: it’s there, at the top of my blog. Poor little Bo was confused and terrified. What had he done? He surely would have known if he had left a Bo-nut somewhere on the blue carpet in the blue room.
I quickly trans-imaged him out of sight while he hightailed it back to my secret closet.
With Bo safely munching snausages with Raj, I tried to lighten the mood and shift the attention back to Lady M reminding her that kids do say the darndest things.
MO managed to suck it up, change into a lovely plum suit with matching belt (look where I put it!), and do another meet and greet to promote her seemingly endless series on mentoring kids who haven’t a clue what they’re doing here. It went well, but I could tell she was still seething about little Bo stealing the lime light earlier.
This snit might have been all over by dinner, but no: U.S. News “reporter” Paul “petard” Bedard had to blab it all over his Washington Whispers column. So now, instead of having dinner as a family, we’re back in my “safe room” playing “Guitar Hero” on Raj’s wii. I think it’s time to get out of Dodge for awhile.
So I scheduled a maintenance upgrade at one of our Strategic Air Combat Command rocky mountain bunkers for chip upgrades, and electro-magnetic pulse (EMP) shielding. I’ll need Raj of course. The O’s are letting me bring Bo so he can enroll in one of those mountain-dog rescue courses.
I figure a week to 10 days cooling-off should get things back to “normal” at the Big White. Besides, Lady M won’t be needing my help for a while. Everybody is too wee-weed up around here to go out in public.
I scheduled my upgrades at the SAC bunker in Park City, UT because it has the most up-to-date facilities. Oh my, and – look here! According to my calendar, the Sundance Film Festival is opening there tomorrow. What a co-wink-ee-dink! Raj said it would be just like going to Bollywood.
Who knows, maybe I can trans-image some of the stars and starlettes, and even catch a movie or two. Sounds like a lot more fun than playing video poker with Raj in my super secret closet. Don’t worry, I’ll still be in touch.
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Right. Raj is one hottie. You are not fooling us, MOTUS.
ReplyDeleteMay I paraphrase? I just had some kool-aid.
ReplyDelete"What a role model to all of us. We are so fortunate to have her as our First Lady. There she is greeting children to the White House, assuring them that she will do everything she can to keep them from eating too much. She always look so lovely in her expensive designer clothes that she inspires all of us to wear our coats while indoors, our belts as uplift bras and thigh-high boots. She has done so much for our country by secretly helping military families, delivering toys donated by others, mentoring a dozen children from the DC area and keeping the batterys charged on Air Force One. She single-handedly dug up the White House lawn to plant a garden that amazingly provided over a 1,000 pounds of vegetables. All that weeding and hoeing, she is so wonderful. She sparkles, glows and shines, all in the Most Fascinating and Best Dressed way."
Weird how she just stayed in one place, not moving very much to help greet those greeting her. Was she in a receiving line or something.
ReplyDeleteIf there was a cap-sleeve dress underneath, why is she wearing that matching coat? Looks like a bathrobe two sizes too small.
"We need you."
ReplyDelete"Don't give up."
"Help is on the way."
What is she talking about?
MOTUS, to misquote Mr. T, I pity the mirror that has to make the Obamas look good.
Mrs. P
Motus, Coordinating the designer duds with Bo was a nice touch. Too bad the pez don't appreciate the effort and expense of Pre-Spring 2010 Moschino (dumb question -isn't pre-spring, Winter?). Couture makes the world better. Motus, I know there is little to be done about Me-shelle's utter lack of natural charm and warmth. Even her enthusiastic "HI!! Come on in" is terrifying.
ReplyDeleteThat whole gig was weird. What the hell is the First Lady doing, practicing to be a Walmart Greeter? Is it some political statement to have her as a door greeter, that she is not the arrogant and vain bitch the right portrays, but a lovely, humble, regular kind of gal welcoming guests into her home?
ReplyDeleteMrs. P makes a good piont, I watched the video for about 20 minutes, until I was nauseous, and I could not catch what she was responding to with those statements.
"Help is on the way" - are the Russians coming?
I guess it's a good thing I got to tour the Big White while Clinton was still there and the drapes were on the windows instead of Michelle. Now it appears I'm a bit too melanin-challenged to get a tour. Probably too independent, too.
ReplyDeleteOops! I misspoke. I just saw the video and I totally misrepresented the FLOTUS. She is stealing hugs from everybody.
ReplyDeleteThe way she greeted those bewildered folks - exactly the way Granny used to read the part of the witch when she greeted Hansel and Gretel. *shudder*
The price of the bathrobe has been touted at over $2600!
ReplyDeleteYes, greeting the peasants in a $3,000 coat is so "charming."
ReplyDeleteI take comfort in the fact that the Obamas deserve each other and are stuck with each other.
Barry has to wake up next to the scorpion every day.
There is some justice in the world.
Did you hear about Michelle Obama's low-fat diet?
ReplyDeleteNo, no, SHE doesn't want to be on it; she just wants to force it upon American children.
Hmmm, take a look at MO in that fabulous plum suit. Wouldn't you say she's looking a little PLUMP in PLUM?
MOTUS,
ReplyDeleteWhat does the innocent unsuspecting tourist do when greeted by that screeching "Hi. Come on in"? There's no where to run, Nowhere to hide. Then to be grasped by the Spider Woman and enveloped in a condescening hug full of bad coutre and fake hair. What do you do? Those people deserve some sort of "I visited the White House and Survived" bumper sticker.
MOTUS,
ReplyDeleteSorry.....condescending and couture...my bads
Ditto on that, Cinder. You can see some later in the video declining the hug with subtle body language. However, if you walked in and were black, she squeezed you in half. This video really shows her bigoted side. If you can stomach it, watch it for about 25 minutes and see for yourself.
ReplyDeleteYes, Citizens, it is truly gag worthy. MOTUS, I know this is done in the name of keeping us informed but really...this was almost too much. Her screeching voice Hiiiiiiiiiiii...nails on the blackboard moment! eeeeeeeeeek. I tried to picture Laura smiling, proudly saying (not shouting): "Welcome to the White House" instead. The robe and suit, again, too small. The seam should not come 1/2 inch in from the end of the shoulder...yes, I know she has Stevedore shoulders and arms (sleeves too tight)...but aren't these supposed to be custom fit? Note to designers: You know it doesn't make her look smaller...are you Republican plants? I may have to have an Eggnog for lunch (heavy on the rum) just to wipe out the mental image of those "hugs".
ReplyDeleteAfter the populous uprising in MA the other day, I would expect MeShill, the "Me-of-the- Common-Folk (Only-in-Couture)" to greet guests with "Ya'll come on in now, make yerselves t'home and sit a spell."
PS: Why does her hair always look stiff and dirty?
PPS: I would never in my life hug her (or The Dear Reader) and if ever caught in a line approaching either of them would RUN in the opposite direction...probably setting off alarms with the SS...but still...15 minutes of questioning would be better than the alternative.
bettyann...I once had a Black political ally (when I was a clueless Dem) who was a "light-skinned negro who didn't use negro dialect" and even had blue eyes. He told me his mother "was as white as you are". And believe me, I am so "light-skinned" you can see my blue veins...or is that my proud WASP blue blood showing through? He said his mommy couldn't stand touching white people she was so racist. I suppose he had to shake hands for political purposes...and yes, he had a HUGE chip on his shoulder too.
ReplyDeleteIs MeShill wearing black stockings or boots with no heels?
ReplyDeleteOMG, you girls weren't exaggerating about the screechy "HIIIII!!" If someone greets me that way I speedwalk in the other direction. Unfortunately the tourists couldn't do that with the line of people behind them.
And yeah, why is she wearing her robe/coat indoors? Are they turning the WH thermostat down to 68 degrees to "save the planet"? Or is she going through some hormone change where she suddenly feels cold?
The video reveals her discomfort and stiffness with whites versus blacks. How can this be? She is a polished, experienced woman with an elite education, or so we are told.
ReplyDeleteIf I put myself in her shoes and try to imagine having that stiffness with black people, it would be because I have not been around them that much, or, because when I have, I have kept myself aloof in some important way. And a big part of that keeping myself aloof would be that the first hting I know about them is their skin color. I see skin color before all else.
This describes Michelle Obama's behavior clearly in that video. She is stiff and fawning, shrill and uncomfortable with her own hands. Then, in comes some black folk and instant warmth is kindled, a familiarity about the greeting, and her voice becomes deeper and more natural, her body language at ease.
That racism exists is an unfortunate truth about our world. In my personal experience, I have lived several places where white folk are the minority, including now. Like you Madame DeFarge, I am quite fair skinned and blonde, as are my children and the youngest is a red head. The Spanish in New Mexico (They are NOT Mexicans!!) are old Castillian blood, and they keep themselves apart from whites. Whites are Anglos. Juaros - "blondies". They are "Spanish". The Indians here, Pueblo and Navajo and a smattering of Apache, are racist equally to both Spanish and Anglo, considering us all white. And when you meet someone and they are a racist agaisnt the white in your skin, you can practically smell it. They don't see you, they see your skin color, and are put off by it. And you are treated differently because of it, for being white. My son works with all Spanish, and he is there juaro, and they use it like the word ni$$er when they talk to him. As a result, he hates his job because he is the brunt of their racism.
And they think that this is fine. When they are racist against white, it is not racism, it is justice being served up, a just dessert for a white.
I went off on a tangent, but this is real world. It just saddened me to see Michelle there, beneath her station, without dignity and wearing a house coat and being so....oh how does one say....COMMON.
Let's see if I have this right. Her husband's party gets it's clock cleaned the night before in Mass. and the very next day she greets the little' people in at least, including boots, a five thousand dollar outfit? Does she think no one will notice?
ReplyDeleteToday the Chosen One says it was all a big joke and he is "going populist"..to save his butt I guess, and Big M wears something from the Mall to address the Mayor's conference. This Talbot's no. is too short, too tight, and she's lecturing on obesity? Am I the only one confused? p.s. I happen to like Talbot's but even as just one of the subjects, I know enough to buy the right size..Are there two Michelle's? WTF?
I'm thankful Michelle does not wear fur and I'm sure the possibility of looking like Yeti has nothing to do with it.
ReplyDeleteTalbot's does make a line for ladies with a little more ooomf. I know it well. They fit beautifully if you buy the right size.
ReplyDeleteThis is exactly why I'm staying away from Washington, D.C. until MO and BO are out of there. What if I'd been first in line and heard her screech at me, "Hi! Come on in!" I would have run out of there like my hair was on fire. Is this woman the most uncomfortable, unfortunate First Lady evah? "Walmart Greeter"--my black Labrador, Jack, is a better Walmart Greeter than Michelle-O. He presents himself better in the orange vest, plus, he's more sincere.
ReplyDeleteAnon: Well, let's see. $2768 for the coat/dress, $1200 for the Jimmy Choo's add on for expensive underwear (wait, LaPerla doesn't have anything in her size) add tax (unless MeShill is exempt) and we come in just under $4k. Of course, there's the hair extensions, etc., so I'm sure there's $5k there somewhere.
ReplyDeleteI shop at Talbots, a Monterey/Carmel company (shop locally) and my daughter loves their petites. It is rather WASPish though so I'm surprised she's wearing them.
Talbot's has lovely clothes for ladies of all sizes and ages. Cute shoes, too.
ReplyDeletebettyann, I once had a Caucasian friend who worked at the Albuquerque PO; she was harassed to the point of being forced to take a medical retirement...and she's one tough cookie. She was the only white there at the time. She got a settlement of lifetime medical coverage plus $1200/month for life...and not deductible if she became employed elsewhere. Not a bad little stipend if you have something else coming in.
ReplyDeleteThey're lucky she didn't go postal. Instead she made a lot of $$ (according to her) doing...hold it...voter registration! I changed my phone number and email after that as I can't stand the scent of Acorns.
BIG 'THANK YOU', MOTUS!!!
ReplyDeleteI LOVE THE LINK TO RAJ RAJARONI, HE CERTAINLY
DESERVES IT.
MOTUS. What has happened to TOTUS? What have they done with him now? Have you heard any rumor that he has gotten locked in the basement with JoeyB? Becasue he has abandoned his promising blog, even though the prayer meetings ended after all my protests, and the poor lone rooster Preptile has, once again, worn the "p" off his keyboard!
ReplyDeleteIs there someplace to send the ransome? Not that we are paying. Him with his benders and all that. Not to insult a bender, mind.
Madame, the irony is that Spanish IS white. But it is not WHITE, it's SPANISH. The conquistodor blood runs thick, to this day, in about 20 last names, and most are your cousin.
ReplyDeleteWell, the last I heard the Irish are the only people impervious to psycho analysis. The Spanish, as proud as they are, have nothing on that. Not even a good chili. I'll bet your Anglo friend was Irish, and had the last laugh.
Madame, you forgot the dress under the coat, which had to run a grand or so, if it was a companion to the coat. Who cares really, but then the following day, shes in a little number from Talbot's..It's a bit schizo, no ? I mean either you're high end or you're not, be she is all over the lot, including Target..It odd, to me.
ReplyDeleteMOTUS,
ReplyDeleteGood question. What has happened to TOTUS? I check for a new post everyday and am very disappointed we haven't heard from him in so long. What's up? Is he in rehab? If so, tell him not to worry. He can reach out to us anytime. We are the most nonjudgemental group around.
I have a problem with spelling today. ...nonjudgmental....
ReplyDeletebettyann, She might have been of Irish descent. I do know she once married an illegal alien Irishman to give him citizenship and sic'd the INS on him during the divorce. He was a piece of work...got her involved with all those sexcapades with the Rashnishis up in Oregon...the less I know about that the better.
ReplyDeleteYou are so right about our cousins, the very white Spanish conquistadors. Cousins, well except for the Catholic part...thanks to Henry VIII. But as you see from my new moniker I embrace the French cousins as well...again, eh..except for the Catholic part...which is why our family has so many named after Anne B who persuaded Henry to break with the Pope. We followed right along...not wanting to lose our heads. Lately though I find myself feeling an urge to go to church and light a candle for us all and offer up a few prayers to St. Jude.
Madame, LOL! We may be cousins. Or at least, I now adopt you as one :)
ReplyDelete