Thursday, January 21, 2010

One Happy F-ing Anniversary

Looking back on it now, it was a bad idea. I thought maybe I could help smooth things over around here by getting Lady M to do one of her favorite things: have a bunch of people in to admire her. Boy, did that veer off path in a hurry.

I just thought, it’s our first historic anniversary - lets get dressed up in one of our new outfits, and greet the little people visiting Big White! Just like we did on our first historic day. We selected a black and white metallic tweed bathrobe number by Moschino with 4 pockets trimmed in black bias tape. It was accompanied by a matching cap sleeved dress under the robe. We couldn’t decide whether to  pair it up with our  winter “Hot Chillys” long johns or our black pole dancing boots. I was leaning towards the Chillys, but MO went with the boots. We took Bo along to log some quality time with MO.

I was reflecting MO quite well if I do say so myself. USA Today (one of those Rupert rags) even gave us some good ink:

Folks who took the regular White House tour this morning got an extraordinary visit with one of the building's residents: first lady Michelle Obama.

Obama, along with the family dog Bo, greeted guests as they lined up on the main floor of the White House.

"We are marking our one-year anniversary here," Obama told one surprised guest. To another startled visitor, she simply said, "Surprise!"

Things started off great. The first person through the door even gushed that seeing Lady M was a “dream”. My FLOTUS was pulling out of her funk: and that was good for her, me and Bo.

In hindsight, I should have known that it wouldn’t end well. I should have realized that Bo would steal the show – and, frankly, Lady M is only here for the show.

I had to cut most of the video scenes. Too painful. But here’s a sample from before Bo took us over the cliff.

The final straw came when a bunch of kids  walked in, saw Lady M, then saw Bo, and exclaimed, “Bo!”.

MO’s icy stare nearly broke my lens. You’ve seen the stare I’m talking about: it’s there, at the top of my blog. Poor little Bo was confused and terrified. What had he done? He surely would have known if he had left a Bo-nut somewhere on the blue carpet in the blue room.

I quickly trans-imaged him out of sight while he hightailed it back to my secret closet.

With Bo safely munching snausages with Raj, I tried to lighten the mood and shift the attention back to Lady M reminding her that kids do say the darndest things.

MO managed to suck it up, change into a lovely plum suit with matching belt (look where I put it!), and do another meet and greet to promote her seemingly endless series on mentoring kids who haven’t a clue what they’re doing here. It went well, but I could tell she was still seething about little Bo stealing the lime light earlier.


a plum

This snit might have been all over by dinner, but no: U.S. News “reporter” Paul “petard” Bedard had to blab it all over his Washington Whispers column. So now, instead of having dinner as a family, we’re back in my “safe room” playing “Guitar Hero” on Raj’s wii. I think it’s time to get out of Dodge for awhile.

So I scheduled a maintenance upgrade at one of our Strategic Air Combat Command rocky mountain bunkers for chip upgrades, and electro-magnetic pulse (EMP) shielding. I’ll need Raj of course. The O’s are letting me bring Bo so he can enroll in one of those mountain-dog rescue courses.

I figure a week to 10 days cooling-off should get things back to “normal” at the Big White. Besides, Lady M won’t be needing my help for a while. Everybody is too wee-weed up around here to go out in public.

I scheduled my upgrades at the SAC bunker in Park City, UT because it has the most up-to-date facilities. Oh my, and – look here! According to my calendar, the Sundance Film Festival is opening there tomorrow. What a co-wink-ee-dink! Raj said it would be just  like going to Bollywood.

Who knows, maybe I can trans-image some of the stars and starlettes, and even catch a movie or two. Sounds like a lot more fun than playing video poker with Raj in my super secret closet. Don’t worry, I’ll still be in touch.