Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Feets Don’t Fail Me Now

I had totally intended to tell you about something a lot more fun today, but now I guess I’m going to have to cover(up) this fashion misstep.

Do these pants make my legs look longer Could Lady M, like Big Guy, be shrinking? Maybe we should check the water at the Big White.

OK, let’s start from the top: looking good, portable hair in place and under control.

Pale yellow-green slinky fabric, check. Shoulders fitted correctly, lapels laying flat, check and check.

Erickson Beamon techno deco belt positioned somewhere near the equator, check. Sure, it’s Blue on  yellow-green, but it could have been purple. Or blue-green, like the toenails Lady M sported on Bar Harbor, so we’ll give the Beamon a pass.

Was3274992 Lady M’s personal green initiative

Let’s move on. Cleavage, tasteful (thank goodness), check.

Jacket: well fitted, longer hip and crotch concealing profile - check! check!!

Slash pockets laying relatively flat, check.

Conspicuous absence of big, gnarly, ugly brooches, necklaces and wrist bangles,check! We’re on a roll!

Shoes. Shoes? Shoes!!!! OMG! Where are Lady M’s shoes!? Who stole her shoes????!

Do I have to do everything around here? I mean, Lady M graduated from 2 Ivy League schools for crying out loud! Who needs to put ‘shoes’ on their dressing check list?

Oh, I’m never going to hear the end of this. I might as well book my annual maintenance exam at NASA right now because I’m sure I’m going to have some hairline fractures caused by flying objects that will need filling, polishing and buffing. And now that NASA has fine-tuned their mission and reshuffled their priorities it’s not as easy to get in for routine maintenance as it used to be, even if you are a DOD/NASA digital reimaging system. I hear unconfirmed rumors that you non-mirror units might experience this same problem with your routine healthcare maintenance too.

I’m just hoping that NASA can squeeze me in between all their new programs: “How to Halal,”  Burka Appreciation Week, Muslim Scientific Odyssey month, the Muslim Math Olympiad and the al-Jeezera Sensitivity Training classes.