By now I trust you’ve all read Lady M’s brilliant OpEd at the WaPo on the urgent need to plunge the country deeper into debt in order to feed the fat kids’ behinds and save the country from imminent peril. Even though her thoughtful editorial appeared just yesterday, she’s already received a good deal of thoughtful feedback which I’m sure she’ll take under advisement. I knew it would be a good piece, because she worked on it all last week, which is pretty impressive given its 722 words: that’s over 100 words a day!
When she was done though, she wisely gave it to Cammie to “edit” as her last official duty before leaving her post as MO’s “Communications Director.” I thought it would be fun to run Lady M’s Pulitzer Prize winning (per Granny Jan) editorial journalism (is that redundant?) through my “I Write Like” transmogrifier, just to see what it said. Guess what? MO writes just like SEIU President Mary Kay Henry!
Mary Kay’s union is a big supporter (i.e. huge piles of cash) of Team Obama, and we in turn have returned their generosity ten-fold.
A lot of Mary Kay’s members are the hair netted ladies who serve up gobs of high calorie food products in school cafeterias to help little children grow fat behinds.
MO began her editorial by talking about the importance of her own organic garden at the Big White, and how she let students come and work in it for free! Even our illegal Mexicans won’t do that:
In the months that followed, those same students came back to check on the garden's progress and taste the fruits (and vegetables) of their labor. Together, they helped us spark a national conversation about the role that food plays in helping us all live healthy lives.
I’m concerned that if she and Big Guy “spark” any more conversations on how we do anything, the resulting fire is going to look more like “revolution” than “conversation.” But maybe I’m watching too many Glen Beck re-runs at 2:00 AM when I can’t sleep. I’ll try switching to HSN or Ms.NBC and see if that helps.
Lady M talked about how important her “Let’s Move!” campaign is:
...the idea behind "Let's Move!" -- a nationwide campaign started this year with a single and very ambitious goal: solving the problem of childhood obesity in a generation, so kids born today can reach adulthood at a healthy weight.
If you’re not sure what a healthy weight for an adult is, you can just look at Lady M and the SEIU cafeteria workers for examples. Although MO’s actual weight is classified.
Here are a few more excerpts from Lady M’s extraordinary, historical and very important OpEd, in case you missed it:
But even if we all work to help our kids lead healthy lives at home, they also need to stay healthy and active at school. The last thing parents need or want is to see the progress they're making at home lost during the school day.
Over the past year, I have met with community leaders and stakeholders from across the country -- parents and teachers, school board members and principals, suppliers and food service workers -- about the importance of making sure every child in America has access to nutritious meals at school. They all want what's best for our children, and they all know how critical it is that we keep making progress.
Of course, the only “stakeholders” out of that batch that matter to the O’s are the suppliers (who currently enjoy huge government contracts, which will now be enbiggened to become even huger: thanks taxpayers!) and food service workers (SEIU - ‘nuff said). As long as those two are happy the piles of cash keep coming our way.
That's why it is so important that Congress pass this bill as soon as possible.
Why is everything always so time sensitive with the Won’s? I used to think it was because they’re always planning to go on another vacation, but now I think it’s just to irritate the Tea Party.
We owe it to the children who aren't reaching their potential because they're not getting the nutrition they need during the day.
Didn’t that used to be Mom and Dad’s job?
We owe it to the parents who are working to keep their families healthy and looking for a little support along the way.
Would those be the same families hauling sacks of chips, Doritos, Ding Dongs, Keebler elf cookies, Snickers and tubs of ice cream into their homes? With food stamps?
We owe it to the schools that are trying to make progress but don't have the resources they need.
Here’s a free tip for school cafeteria managers from the way-back machine of the 1950’s: loaf of bread, bologna, peanut butter, jelly, sack of apples, bunch of bananas. Turkey if you must. This ain’t rocket science.
And we owe it to our country -- because our prosperity depends on the health and vitality of the next generation.
Although others may argue that our prosperity depends on decreasing the deficit and taxes, putting people back to work and protecting the country from invasions of illegal foreigners, some of whom wish us great harm.
Don’t get me wrong - it’s not that I wish to remove all the delicious sugary, salty treats from kids lunch rooms - but in the olden days, when the Federal Government wished to impose noxious standards that nobody wanted, they didn’t automatically create another huge entitlement program. They just said “no federal funding unless you follow our new federal guidelines” – like 55 mph speed limits, remember? All but one state complied. Pretty effective, and no new taxes. If that matters.
So if you want schools to replace corn with collard greens (heh, heh) just eliminate their school lunch funds if they won’t serve them. We save billions of dollars and SEIU won’t grow larger than the Chinese Red Army. Besides, I’m not convinced that collard greens cost more than corn - at least not until the “suppliers” and SEIU food service workers slap their Government-Gravy-Train-Premium on it.
So get ready kids. When we
ram this up get the Child Nutrition Bill program up and running, you’ll be in for a treat. No more, lunch trays loaded with delicious unhealthy fried nuggets of chicken thingies, greasy, salty french fries, icy cold, sugary soda beverages to wash it down and finished off with yummy fattening chocolate chip cookies for desert:
Instead you’ll be getting healthy bowls of this green, orange and dark grey organic matter,
and the trays will be filled out with more green chunks, a crumbly brown thing with a hearty chunk of fiberboard and some reddish stuff to spread on it. And no-fat moo juice.
And it will only cost twice as much as the old school lunch program. So that’s good news for taxpayers. And the SEIU. Umm, umm, umm!
I wonder how much extra it will cost to actually teach kids to read, write and cipher? Because than maybe they could figure some of this really complicated stuff out for themselves.