Hello! We’ve landed in Spain!
Dressed in black, Jackie O specs and giant black bag. Very Euro chi-chi. (and I hope they have Chi-Chi’s over here: we love their strawberry Margaritas).
While we recuperate from jetlag, please entertain yourselves with this dog-days of summer fashion contest:
What woman hasn’t gotten herself all wee-weed up at least once in her life, worrying about showing up at “The Social Event of the Season” and finding some b**ch wearing the same dress! And looking better in it too boot.
According to the New York Daily News, this fashion disaster happens to starlets all the time! Imagine the poor dears’ stress levels. The Daily News published this expose and issued the paparazzi throwdown: “Fashion faceoff: Who wore it better?”
I report, you decide:
Allessandra Ambrosio vs Selita Ebanks. Yikes! This one’s tough.
Eva Mendes vs Freida Pinto: Huh? These are not the same! Oh, the belt; one normal, one boob style. Your choice.
Gwynoth Paltrow vs Fergie. Gwynoth, bubbie, who stole your boobies?
Lily Collins vs Kristen Stewart. Please, step away from the munchkins!
Lindsay Lohan vs Kim Kardashian vs Katy Perry: Don’t you love a 3-way! And good luck in rehab LiLo! Remember: Just say no.
And my personal fave:
Reba McEntire vs Kenan Thompson. Kenan never looked better. We’re considering him for a body double.
Sara Paxton vs Victoria Beckham. Posh domination, no?
LeAnn Rimes vs Tinsley Mortimer. I don’t know what to say. Butt I’ll bet MO likes that belted drapery look on LeAnn.
Jennifer Love Hewitt vs Blake Lively. Wearing “Victoria’s Secret for the Street.” Not so secret if you ask me.
Of course this fashion faux pas can happen to anyone. Just ask Laura Bush who wore an Oscar de la Renta to a Lincoln Center event in 2007 only to have not 1, but 3 other women (all blondes, wouldn’t you know) show up in the same gown. Of course that was a Democrat dirty trick.
Rest assured however, that will never, ever, happen to Lady M. Ever. For one thing, that would be the last frock the designer ever pinned together. And for another, who ever had the misfortune of serving as Lady M’s social secretary at the time would wind up in the same discarded pile of scraps as the designer. And just to make certain, after that unfortunate gate crashing incident last November, our NEW social secretary, Smootie, now requires that all women RSVPing submit sketches and photos along with the name, address and personal telephone number of their gown’s designer. If they show up in anything else, they’re turned away at the gate. How hard is this?
The only other people wearing Lady M’s gowns will be anorexic runway models. And they have all mysteriously disappeared.
Oh, and did you see we made in on Vanity Fair’s “Best Dressed” list? It’s the 4th time in a row! You can’t buy positive press like that! Well, actually, you can. But more on that later.
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