Saturday, January 22, 2011

Blackie O? Oh No!

As you know, due to my experience covering celebritees

the wonsBig White Celebritees

I’m covering the celebritee beat at the Sundance Festival this week. Butt honestly, there haven’t been many big stars in town yet, so I’m going to do a roundup of celebritees in the news instead:

First, Joan Rivers ditched a joke about Lady M? Because her handlers thought it might be deemed racist? No!

Comedienne Joan Rivers revealed she once ditched a joke about First Lady Michelle Obama from her stand-up routine - because she feared she'd be accused of racism.

Recalling the wisecrack to shock Jock Howard Stern, the comedy legend said: "We used to have Jackie O now we have Blackie O!"

Boy, I thought the old gal was made of tougher stuff than that.


And here I thought we lived in a post-racial world. Apparently not, since even Mark Twain is getting censored these days.

I can see how the people who believe that “words mean something” (butt only  after they’ve determined what it is they mean) might be offended by the “Blackie-O” comment. To them it would appear to be racist, not a funny compliment, as Joanie said, comparing Lady M to another world famous fashion icon. They’re always on the lookout for racist content.

I’ll tell you a little secret about those people who want to be able to define what words mean for you: they always see race first. I don’t know why that is, butt everything begins there for them. It’s a kind of reductionism practiced by intellectuals.

This same type of reductionism leads the elites amongst us to conclude that “heated rhetoric” and “rancorous discourse” is responsible for all of the violence in society. Not drug crazed psycho whack-jobs, or evil people. It just makes explaining why bad things happen to good people a little easier. And we’re all about easier.

So, as long as we’re still a country of racist haters, nobody can make jokes with the word “blackie” in it. Not even an old Jewish, leftist comedienne.

Next up: Olby’s out!!!? Can you believe it? The new COMCAST-Ms.NBC just summarily fired Keith Olbermann!!!

Neither MSNBC President Phil Griffin, Olbermann nor his manager responded to requests to explain an exit so abrupt that Olbermann's face was still being featured on an MSNBC promotional ad 30 minutes after he had said goodbye.

Well, I guess we know who our new Press Secretary is going to be.

101213_gibbs_olbermann_ap_283_regular Perfect!

And on the home front, many celebritees have given Rahmbo sacks of gold in order to win his bid for mayor of Chicago. That should tell you just  how important it is to ensure that we “get out the vote” in Chicago for Big Guy in the 2012 election.

110121_trump_spielberg_sorkin_ap_605 Celebritees for Rahmbo: I’m beginning to think the Donald just wants something from Big Guy in order to pull his name out of the hat.

Because nothing spells success in politics quite like money. The more you have, the more you can buy. Votes, that is.

Here’s my only interesting Sundance sighting so far: Liv Tyler. She’s an actress most famous for being Steven Tyler’s daughter.

liv tyler Liv, one of the many PIBs at Sundance

- who in turn is most famous for being the new American Idol judge:

AMERICAN IDOL: New AMERICAN IDOL judges Steven Perry(second from R) and Jennifer Lopez (second from L) with returning Judge Randy Jackson (L) and Host Ryan Seacrest (R) at the AMERICAN IDOL Season 10 Announcement at the Los Angeles Forum on Wednesday Sept. 22 in Inglewood, CA.  CR: Michael Becker/FOX  © 2010 FOX BROADCASTING
On 22/September/10, at 1:58 pm, yeo, debra wrote: american idols new juding panel includes jennifer lopez and steven tyler, seen with original judge randy jackson, left, and host ryan seacrest, right.

Moral of the story, besides “you’re only as good as your last act”: cosmetic surgery is your friend.

Steven_Tyler imagesCAFACULU michelle-obama-plastic-surgery

along with makeup and Photoshop. Believe me, I’ve seen some of these celebritees without their makeup. It’s a nightmare.

article-0-0B212D85000005DC-165_468x713 Robert Redford, on the street in PC, in his celebri-tee