Step Away From the Doritos, Fatty!

Mmmm, mmm, mmm!

Michelle Obama Teams with Wal-mart for Healthier Food!

This is a little surprising, considering that back when Big Guy was running for president (I guess technically he still is),

He declared that there was a "moral responsibility to stand up and fight" the company and "force them to examine their own corporate values".

I guess he sent Lady M to re-examine those values for them.

All of Lady M’s lemons

And now, look! Walmart has vowed to swear off trans-fats, salt and sugar:

The plan, similar to efforts by other companies and to public health initiatives by New York City, sets specific targets for lowering sodium, trans fats and added sugars in a broad array of foods — including rice, soups, canned beans, salad dressings and snacks like potato chips — packaged under the company’s house brand, Great Value.

Are these delicious Walmart cakes going to be history?

Butt, the real impact lies with Walmart’s huge market power which it can use to force its suppliers to comply with the terms of Lady M’s No Fat Kids Behinds pogrom.

Wal-Mart and White House officials said the company was also pledging to press its major food suppliers, like Kraft, to follow its example. Wal-Mart does not disclose how much of its sales come from its house brand. But Kraft says about 16 percent of its global sales are through Wal-Mart. 

See how that works? No? Maybe this will help:

“But Wal-Mart is in a position almost like the Food and Drug Administration. I think it really pushes the food industry in the right direction.”

This may not as be good as it sounds. Lady M’s chef and chief nutritional advisor, Sammy Kass even questioned the long term impact:

We’re aligning ourselves with people who are stepping up as leaders to take this country to a healthier place…The only question that we have is do we think this is a significant step in that direction, and do we think there is a method in place to track progress, and do we think this will have the impact we are pushing for.

Here’s a hint: if you have to ask the question, the answer is no. Because, uh, Sammy,  you’re the guys who are so darned interested. Shouldn’t you be the ones doing the implementing and tracking? And so far, the only implementing on the drawing board is that for a new bureaucracy to handle all that tracking.

Overall, Lady M’s Pogrom has been met with enthusiastic support (of course – who’s opposed to cheap apples? Besides apple farmers?) There was just this one little slip:

 Unfortunate product placement: Let’s Move Walmart – right out of town!

Especially when taken in the context of SondraK’s report. Apparently they don’t want any Walmarts in Washington D.C.:

Am I mistaken? Is that a – cross hair!? With a smiley face? What is this – a kinder, gentler way to incite people to violence? Maybe we should have Bruno and Ricky look into it.

 Step away from those Doritos, fatty!