Tuesday, February 8, 2011

First, They Came for the Happy Meal…

Gird yourselves, Lady M is on a 3 day rip.

Our agenda: LET’S MOVE! Specifically, we’re moving to “encourage” restaurants, to “voluntarily” reduce portion sizes and offer children’s meals that include twigs and sticks rather than French fries and soda.

worlds-smallest-burger_thumb[1]The new downsized Happy Meal: just like the new downsized economy – get used to it

It’s more like a game than an edict, really, in that Lady M’s front men who have been meeting with members of the National Restaurant Association for the past year have “challenged restaurant owners to change their menus, recipes and marketing practices to "give parents the confidence to know that they can go into any restaurant in this country and choose a genuinely healthy meal for their kids."

Now days it seems parents can’t do anything with “confidence” unless assisted by their federal government. Because parents are all stupid clueless victims of big business’ covert efforts to turn their children into fat clueless victims. And that’s where Lady M comes in:

Michelle%20Obamax-largeLet’s Move! You too can develop power-thighs – and buns of steel:

big butt Michelle_Obama_Olympians_ad34   mobutt 


Here’s our blitz plan for the one year “Let’s Move!” anniversary:

On Tuesday, Mrs. Obama marks her fourth session with the print beat reporters who cover her, pegged to the "Let's Move" program; on Wednesday she gives interviews to NBC's "The Today Show" and "Live with Regis and Kelly" and a group of online reporters.

Rege and Kelly!!!! That’s bigger than GMA, although not bigger than Oprah. (What is?)

As we have from the beginning, we’re working this problem from the top down: health by government regulation and fiat, rather than making it the responsibility of citizens to make good choices. Although technically Lady M has nothing against good choices.

It’s just that she and her advisors decided that it would be much better to tell private industry that they must submit to our demands to reduce portion sizes and the amount of sugar, salt, fat and flavor in their products than to tell people what they must do in their very own homes. Because honestly, we don’t have the power to do that yet.

And besides, how can Lady M tell parents that they have to teach their children discipline in order to make good choices and learn to eat right when we all know how stupid and undisciplined the parents are? Why, that’s just crazy!

So like most government programs we’re just going to address the symptoms rather than the underlying causes. It’s a lot easier to coerce businesses into doing what you want than individuals: the last people on earth you can hold responsible for a child’s health and well being are their clueless, easily duped parental units.


mo mickey d copy_thumb[2]Lady M embraces No fat kids’ behinds

Nutritionists and public health advocates give Obama high marks for putting healthy eating on the national agenda, but many worry she will be co-opted by companies rushing to embrace her without offering meaningful change.

Dr. David Ludwig, the director of the Optimal Weight for Life program at Children's Hospital in Boston, said: "The point is that the best initiatives can be subverted for special interest, and it's important to be vigilant when we form partnerships with industry."

 Really? I don’t think that sort of thing happens in our administration. All of our special interests are on our side.