Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Congress Capitulates to Super-Congress; Super-Hero Suppers in Chicago

Thank goodness! We’ve finally taken care of the debt crisis! Now we can get back to our work for the American People: raising money to buy win our re-election.

Lady M still hasn’t made up her mind about whether she’ll be attending the big birthday bash/fundraiser in Chicago or not. She’s still a little miffed about last year’s birthday celebration, when she was in Spain sacrificin’ for the American people and ending racism on the Iberian peninsula while Big Guy was partying at a swanky Chicago restaurant with Oprah, Gayle, Val-Jar and two “unnamed friends” of unnamed sex.

20100804_mobama_100804_thumbReigning in Spain, August 2010

Butt she might just decide to go because she doesn’t usually hold a grudge for more than a year. By that time someone else rotates to the top of her list.

It is going to be a swell party at the world famous Aragon Ballroom: Herbie Hancock alone is worth the trip. And that’s not all: we’ve also got OK Go – and you know how much Lady M loves punk rock – and Jennifer Hudson. She’ll be singing the traditional Presidential “Happy Birthday” to Big Guy. That could put Lady M back into the “no fly zone.”

Screenshot Studio capture #178Marilyn’s performance of “Happy Birthday, Mr. President” for JFK. I’m not saying she was a featherhead or anything, butt she did use notes.

Everything would have been OK if Jennifer had stayed pleasantly plump like she was when she first burst onto the scene. Instead of hawking for Weight Watchers and dropping a ton:

Screenshot Studio capture #185 And stealing Lady M’s signature boob belt stylin’

So we’ll just have to wait and see. Air Force Won doesn’t leave till late this afternoon, so it all depends on what we have for lunch.

And did you hear about Big Guy’s birthday resolution? (I’m unfamiliar with this custom, I guess I need a cultural customs pak update.) He quit smoking, according to Lady M. Again! I guess all the stress of the past few weeks, with people actually calling his bluff – even after he warned them not to - finally got to him and he slipped off the weed wagon.

Thankfully, his poker skills are better than previously reported and he was able to turn Congress’ debt deal into a campaign speech in the Rose Garden to discuss his issues, which fluctuate between taxes, taxes on the rich, and taxes on oil companies. Oh yeah, and jobs. He’s so all over the jobs situation.

And don’t worry about all the pesky details of Big Guy’s “Grand Compromise:”  he announced the formation of another non-constitutionally mandated cabal, the Super-Congress. The “Super Congress of 12” is to be empowered with super-powers to pass super-laws, super-fast. Thus by-passing the lesser, decidedly non-super Congress comprised of the House and Senate.  I suppose this will send those wacky Tea Partiers back for their pitchforks. Although it looks like some of our loyal sycops over at Huffpo seem to be having issues too. So wow! This really is a bipartisan deal!

substitute superherosAmerica! Meet your substitute super heroes: the Super-Congress! War at 11:00.

Once again, Big Guy would just like me to remind you that this is August, when everyone in Washington gets all wee-weed up over nothing. And besides, the “Super Congress” - which strips elected representatives of “the right to amend legislation” - is so patently unconstitutional that even our current Supreme Court will overrule it if it comes to that.

So we’ve got that going for us!

Don’t tell Big Guy though, it might bum him out right before his big party. Butt being a Constitutional scholar and lecturer, he probably already knows that.

Obama-work-here-finishedDid someone call for a superhero?