Sunday, October 2, 2011

Date Night Alert!

Early in the evening Big Guy delivered the keynote address at the annual Human Rights Campaign annual dinner. I’m not sure he knew it was actually a gay rights group before accepting the invite, butt I don’t think he would have stayed for dinner anyway. Most of his contracts max out at 45 minutes because few groups can afford to book a whole hour. So he just used his time judiciously to slam the R-words for being homophobes or something. Then, seeing all the happy couples at the Gay Human Rights Dinner, he remembered that yesterday was official “Date Night” and hightailed it back to the Big White to pick up Lady M for a romantic dinner.

bo boh

They were celebrating the 19th anniversary of the wedding of their joint ambitions, which is actually Monday. For the occasion, staff selected Restaurant Eve in Alexandria, Virginia where they enjoyed a few stiff ones and the “Chef’s Table” menu. In case you’re not from Alexandria, the restaurant, owned by husband and wife team Cathal and (I’m not making this up) Mechelle Armstrong, is just the kind of restaurant the Wons enjoy celebrating at.  Cathal, a monster in the sustainability field which won him a “Green Giant Award” for “those who work to protect and preserve our environment and teach the virtues of green living.”

eveButt most importantly, the Big White has previously honored him as a “Champion of Change” in Big Guy’s famous Winning the Future initiative. That’s right, WTF! I know we’ve “moved on”  from WTF as far as the PR staff is concerned, butt it still means a lot to people like Cathal who really are WTF. Here’s why Lady M loves him:

“As a father of two young children he has dedicated himself to educating children and families about healthy eating. Unsatisfied by the nutritional quality, in schools Armstrong founded Chefs as Parents™  a non for profit company that will partner with The Alexandria public school system to improving the school lunch system.”

And Big Guy loves him for WTF – just like he asked.

So given the stature and politics of the owners of Restaurant Eve, where else would the Wons go for that special night?

Also from their website:

“The 34-seat Chef's Tasting Room is Chef Armstrong's culinary showcase. Here, Armstrong features a five, seven, and nine-course prix-fixe tasting menu, priced at $120, $135, and $150 respectively. The courses are headed: Creation (palate teasers), Ocean (seafood), Earth & Sky (meats and game), Age (cheese) and Eden (desserts). The Tasting Room menu changes daily as there are many farmers markets in the area. Keeping true to the SEASON, if it be summer, highlights include Heirloom Tomato Tart with Garden Basil grown from the restaurant's own organic garden and Butter Poached Maine Lobster with Eastern Shore Corn. Keeping true to the MISSION, the menu features delectable sustainable meat entrées such as The Hogs Head "Banger" and Polyface Farm 100% Pasture Fed Beef Ribeye.”

After enjoying that tempting read, the website reminds us:

How you choose to eat affects the whole food system. Our menu reflects the Virginia growing season and features the best hand-fed, farm-raised, organically grown bounty that our region has to offer. We support humane, sustainable and responsible farming practices for the simple fact: local food, raised and produced by people who care, is better.

I guess I’d agree, getting food prepared by people who care is probably better than getting it from people who don’t give a crap. Butt surely there is a point at which the whole eating experience stops being enjoyable and simply flows into the pretentious pool of precious? No? Well , forget I said anything.

el bulli

Anyway, I’m sorry to report there’s been another photo embargo imposed, due to the way the Tarjay photo op got completely out of hand. So now we have new rules: in addition to our long standing rules prohibiting photos of our flanks, we are also prohibiting photos of either Big Guy or Lady M at any upscale venues such as swanky Washington area restaurants. Surprise photo ops will continue to be available, by invitation only, to certain photo-journolists when Lady M is acting like “regular folk.”


Wons acting like “regular folk”

We know how disappointed our fans will be, especially over the ban on date night photos, because the Wons surely aren’t going to Applebee's of Denny’s.  So we’re trying out a new format of simulated date night experiences. The plan was hatched by a bunch of our Hollywood maggots moguls at our last Left-coast fundraiser. The plan even qualifies for stimulus funding, because it creates or saves a handful of jobs by hiring a bunch of out-of-work animators to create virtual date nights for you to enjoy. I think it will be better than the real thing.

Here’s a sneak peek at our first one. We were going to release it last night, butt I think it needs a little more work, and a new sponsor.

I have to go now. I’m throwing a baby shower for my niece, Celia. You remember her, she got married last year and now she’s got a little reflector in the oven.