KAMALOT: As Black As Obama, As Likeable As Hillary™

I know, Kamala Harris looked formidable as she kicked off her presidential campaign:

What with all the tears and adulation.

But don’t worry. Kamala is not the female Barack Obama. She’s more like the half-black Hillary.

 

Pretty unlikable to anyone other than her base, who’d vote for anything with a Democratic “F” after her name.

 Charter members of the “I’m With Her” club, no matter who or what “her” is

Like Hillary, Kamala is a woman who came to power on the coattails of a powerful man, and I’m not talking about Barack Hussein Obama (America’s last black president), although he thinks she’s “haute” too.

And if speaking that truth to power makes me a misogynist, what does it make her?

Any-hoo, she kicked off her presidential run with a big rally in Oakland – not exactly the Brandenburg Gate but the epicenter of the new Democratic Socialists. In it she vowed to “seek truth, speak truth and fight for the truth.”  She also found a new abrasive way to put us all in her basket of deplorables:

“Racism, sexism, anti-Semitism, homophobia, transphobia are real in this country,” Harris said. “And they are age-old forms of hate with new fuel. We need to speak that truth so we can deal with it.” - LAT

Here’s my truth for Kammie’s Kampaign: KAMALOT: As Black as Obama, as likeable as Hillary™.

As a slogan I think it’s a winner, how about you?

Why Are Canadian Geese Such Jerks?

A disturbing new crime wave is sweeping the (northern) United States, specifically Obama’s Windy City: the theft of Canada Goose jackets, literally ripped off the victims back – sometimes at gunpoint. The jackets reportedly sell for around $1700. Those PETA people are getting more and more aggressive.

As far as I know the Canadian Goose, along with some 170 others, is still covered by the Migratory Birds Convention Act of 1916 that protects migratory birds during mating season. Like many well intentioned laws that may or may not have served a purpose at one time, legislators tend to ignore statues that become  obsolete or irrelevant.

Got Geese?

It seems that during the past 30 years or so Canada Geese have become ‘urban exploiters,’ a species that thrives in human-made environments. This also means there’s no need for them to ever go home once they land here.

Jocelyn Hudon, curator of ornithology at the Royal Alberta Museum, says that the species, for lack of population control, doesn’t fear humans as much in urban areas, since the birds know city residents don’t pose much of a threat. Geese in the wild, on the other hand, are careful, more vocal, and less likely to engage. – Why Are Canada Geese Such Jerks

So now that we are being overrun by these migrants from the north who arrived with impunity, were allowed to reproduce freely and won’t go home, what are we supposed to do? Welcome even more of these sometimes aggressive invaders with open arms?

I say PETA be damned, turn them into coats!

Or I suppose you could stuff all the feathers on the inside if you don’t want to flaunt your affluence.

Build the Wall and Crime Will Fall

Sundance Saturday

The Sundance Film Festival kicked off on Thursday, 1-24-19, flooding the streets of Park City, UT with PIBs (People In Black) navigating snow covered Main Street in flip-flops, 9” heels and butt-hugger speedo skirts. Most of them rent cars and try to drive even though they’ve never seen snow anywhere other than the movies. And being Angelinos they are undaunted by the gridlock they create around town trying to maneuver the few roads around town. Locals know to stay home during “the Fest” except when absolutely necessary, like going skiing, and we always pack survival cakes for the trip, just in case.

Snow arrives ahead of the Festival opening, promising to make navigation around town more interesting

Following uneventful screenings on Thursday, fear spread through the herd of PIBs Friday when Sundance Commissars refused to cancel the showing of the Michael Jackson expose, Leaving Neverland. Jacko fans threatened on social media to protest the content in mass, and then pedophiliacs threatened to counter protest the protestors and disrupt the documentary’s premier.

Luckily, the threatened protest fizzled and the Park City police assembled for crowd management at the premier outnumbered the protesters:

As press and attendees flooded into the Egyptian Theatre, they walked past two women holding placards that read “Seek Truth.” “I’m here to stand up for him,” said Brenda Jenkyns, a fan of Jackson’s who made the trek to Park City, Utah, from her home in Calgary, Canada. “It’s important that people look at the facts, because the truth isn’t black and white.” (Where have these truth seekers been lately?)

In other Sundance news, Robert Redford (“Bob” to us PC-ites) shocked PIBs and media gawkers by seemingly saying “Bye bye” to the festival:

“Having done this for God, 34 years now, since the festival started,” the Oscar winner told media and others on Thursday as he stood alone onstage at Park City’s Egyptian Theatre. “I think we are at a point where I can move on to a different place.”

“Bye bye Bobby”

Nobody commented on where it was, exactly, he was planning to move on to.

Other than that it’s been pretty quiet here so far, as the Women’s Marchers cancelled this year’s planned event due to anti-Semitism or something. And that’s it from your onsite reporter here at Sundance 2019. Stand by for more news.

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Nuked Too Much, Or Not Enough? (h/t Gerard Van Der Leun)

Beto O’Rourke: you make me proud to be an American! Well, not really. But there you are anyway.

(h/t to whoever posted this video the other day, sorry my aging brain can’t remember)

My first thought after viewing that was “Sheep…how perfect.” My second thought was he’d be a natural contestant on Fox’s new hit show, The Masked Singer. Not familiar? I wouldn’t have been either but for a story I caught on the local Fox affiliate while waiting for the local weather. It’s a talent show that features “celebrities” disguised as, well, furries/feathers of one sort or another singing pop songs. No, I’m not making this up. That was someone else’s job.

“Based on an international format, and already a viral phenomenon with over half a billion fans worldwide, THE MASKED SINGER features celebrities facing off against one another with one major twist: each singer is shrouded from head to toe in an elaborate costume, complete with full face mask to conceal his or her identity.”

The “international format” they reference is the Asian market. The prototype was a Korean TV show called King of Mask Singer which appears to have been inspired by Japanese anime.

Thailand has its own version called The Mask Singer, where as far as I can tell the contestants dress up as fruit, here the stinky durian, and sing American pop songs:

It would be fair to describe all versions of The Masked Singer as a sort of dystopian take on the world that could best be explained by extreme radiation exposure. Too bad there isn’t a Japanese version, because it would provide the perfect subject for Gerard Van der Leun’s perennial question – “The Japanese: Nuked too much or not enough?”

So you see, the show is perfect for Beto, as well as a huge swath of his contemporaries. But fair warning, I will give 10 demerits to the first person who suggests that Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez would make the perfect dystopian donkey: too obvious and it’s already been done.

Fake News Reports the End of Fake News Press Briefings

There will be no end to the kvetching now that PDJT has directed the cancellation of “official” daily press briefings.

The vexation emitted as fake news from the viper pit will be incessant. Here is an example from CNN (along with my translations)

HEADLINE: Power struggle paralyzes 'irrelevant' White House press shop (translation: the real power struggle is between the media and the White House, and when the White House is winning they’re ‘irrelevant’ to us.)

White House press briefings, in steady decline even before the partial government shutdown, (translation: we’ve had fewer and fewer opportunities to air our belligerent questions on the nightly news loop) have now ground to a halt as a prolonged power struggle among President Donald Trump's aides (translation: a prolonged power struggle between the President and us, the disloyal opposition) leads to a muddled messaging strategy,(translation: they won’t accept our version of the ‘facts’ and conform to our narrative) people familiar with the matter say. (translation: we made that up)

Now, when officials find the need to speak to reporters from the space, dust must be cleared from the lectern. (translation: we’ve got nothing, so we’re going to criticize the White House housekeeping)

In the 32 days since the government partially shut down, the lack of a cohesive strategy emanating from the White House communications team has frustrated people throughout the West Wing who have deemed the press shop "irrelevant." (translation: they won’t talk to us so we deem them “irrelevant”)

Two years into his presidency, Trump remains his own communications director, eight current and former officials noted (translation:  Did hear me? Eight! That’s a LOT!). Asked who's in charge of messaging at the White House, press secretary Sarah Sa1nders told CNN in a statement: "It's the President's message." (translation: How dare he communicate his own message!? That’s what professionals like us are for.)

Indeed, Trump takes questions from reporters regularly on the White House South Lawn and drives his own messaging through Twitter, and has eschewed the more formal question-and-answer sessions traditionally conducted by press aides. (Translation: we hate those because the camera stays focused on the President the whole time so we don’t get any of those great,viral YouTubes of us asking arrogant, culpatory questions.)…

Though press briefings in the Trump administration were once must-see television that garnered high ratings, the press secretary has not taken questions from reporters in the briefing room since mid-December. (Translation: we want OUR facetime back!)

There’s lots more, but I highly recommend you not waste your time.

The President holding his own daily press briefings with Fake News, in between executing his other job responsibilities

A Donkey Can’t Change Its Stripes

gaffe: a social or diplomatic blunder

Kinsley gaffe: when a politician inadvertently tells the truth…saying something publicly that they privately believe is true, but would ordinarily not say publicly

You know,

like that time Hillary called us a basket of deplorables? That was awesome.

So thank you Joy Behar, for inadvertently letting the truth slip out yesterday in an effort to be cute:

Whoopie: Why is that? Why do we keep making the same mistake?

Joy: Because we’re desperate to get Trump out of office. 

Her answer also qualifies on all counts as being too cute by half.

But not in a puppy sort of way

And don’t anyone dare claim Joy isn’t actually a politician; it is an established fact that all members of the MSM, no matter what role they play in the circus, are political operatives of the Democratic party. No matter their credentials, no matter how they try they can’t change their stripes.

No matter how cute, it’s still an ass

Take a memo:

To the News Media and the Diocese of Covington:

Have you no shame?

I’ve read numerous “updates” and “corrections” to your original stories. Most of them still inadequately describe the facts, none of them sound very apologetic.

Do the right thing. Correct your judgmental error. Flat out apologize for your slander and libel of this bunch of innocent young men whose families are now receiving death threats. Is that too much to ask? 

And of course that tidy conclusion has been pre-ordained by the narrative.

Or I swear, we’re going to do it for you

Bad News Monday

Bad News #1: Our first winter storm of the week rolled in late last night, just in time to ruin our viewing of the Super Blood Wolf Moon. So I rely on you to post your own magnificent pictures. It won’t be the same thing but I will attempt to extract your sense of amazement.

Bad News #2: If you are a Catholic be advised that the left has just put a target on your back – a term that is unacceptable only when Sarah Palin or some other alt-right hater uses it.

And all evidence indicates this is yet another preemptive spoiling campaign aimed at Amy Coney Barrett’s likely nomination to the Supreme Court in the equally likely event that RBG is unable to continue her duties. It is just a twist on the application of the classic Alinsky rule they used (in conjunction with others) against Brett Kavanaugh: “Pick the target, freeze it, personalize it, and polarize it.” The fact they need to take down an entire religion in order to get it to work, well, more the glory!

The attack on innocent young men from Covington Catholic is just one among many that have preceded and will follow on.

And the fact that the media got this story so egregiously wrong should indicate alone that it was conducted with extreme malice. As of late last night the only apologies I’ve seen are from rightwing sources who piled on a bit to easily. Still waiting to hear from the networks.

Nor is it just the media, the official representatives of the Socialist Democrats in Congress have taken up the banner as well. For example, Mazie Hirono along with Kamala Harris have determined that the Knights of Columbus are for all intents and purposes a terrorist group:

(The question) appeared to reference the recent controversy that erupted following a CNA report that Sens. Kamala Harris (D-CA) and Mazie Hirono (D-HI) questioned judicial nominee Brian Buescher about his membership in the Knights of Columbus, which they described as an organization with “extreme views” that are “opposed to marriage equality” and “women’s reproductive rights.”

So there’s the Dems’ current strategy: paint Catholicism as a dog whistle for homophobia and misogyny. Only now they’ve decided to throw racism into the mix as well, because that never hurts. Besides, it’s very easy to manufacture.

All you need do is level the allegation. And that’s something the Left has been cultivating for a very long time.