So here’s all I’ve got for you today: Lady M and Big Guy lost the Nickelodeon People’s Choice Award for “cutest couple” to Taylor Lautner and Twilight co-star Kristen Stewart.
Fine. Although I do want to raise a few issues: a) they’re not a real couple, they just play one on TV b) they’re like - what? - 13? c) neither of them are even half African American and d) unlike the O’s, again, they just play blood-sucking vampires on TV. What’s wrong with those stupid kids who voted anyway? Don’t they know a historic presidency when they see it?
At least we snagged the “Big Help” award. And that’s better than being just cute anyway, right? We wore one of our lovely argyle sweaters. You might recognize it from last year’s spring trip to visit the Queen. If it’s good enough for the Queen, it’s good enough for Nickelodeon. And see: it still fits. If by “fits” you mean 13 year old Kirsten Stewart.
Lady M graciously accepts her Nickelodeon award remotely. I don’t know why hers isn’t orange. It looks more like a cocktail shaker in silver. Or a torpedo.
In other news, the wraps and Botox aren’t turning out quite as well as we’d hoped, but there’s good news: Carla’s Botox turned out even worse.
She actually looks like she could play Kirsten’s blood-sucking vampire mom on Twilight. Although she does look better behind her giant Dior goggles:
Carla arrives in New York Sunday.
Meanwhile, Big Guy flew off to Afghanistan without telling Lady M about it, which is never a good idea.She wouldn’t have gone with him anyway, but she likes being able to tell him how much she’s done for the country, and how exhausted she is with all of her responsibilities, and how inconsiderate he is to even ask her to do more.
There will be hell to pay when he gets back.
He did have a great time greeting the troops in his flight jacket though:
Is it just me, or is Big Guy starting to look like Dr. Spock? Except for the ears, of course.
He’s not a real Starfleet Commander in Chief, but he does play one in Washington. Remind me to tell you what Big Guy thinks the Prime Objective is someday. You’ll get a real kick out of it.
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Seeing that power in the air crew leather jacket makes me want to hurl. Next he'll be wearing camouflage BDUs! It's all about looking cool with him.
ReplyDeletePoser not power. My phone seems to feel it knows what I mean to say. Maybe I can send it to Raj for a tune-up!
ReplyDeleteRe: Our Carla...unfortunate, yes but wait until the filler settles in then you'll see the "refreshed" Carla. It takes a couple of weeks...not that I'd know from personal experience it's just that as an Esthetician, well, we know these things. And, we have to consider that she has a much more stressful life than The First Fat Ass so let's not add to it shall we?
ReplyDeleteI noticed when the pResident walked out to talk to the troops, that the crowd seemed different. Cheering...taking video and pictures with their cameras...clapping...like they used to do for our beloved George W...
ReplyDeleteThe only thing, it seemed a little too...rehearsed...or like some general was standing up front with a sign that said "Applause". I wouldnt be surprised if the soldiers had been ordered to cheer.
I didnt listen to the speech. I had a headache and felt like throwing up in Obama's shoes if I had to listen to him actually speak.
As for Michelle's award...it looked a little weird...like they awards they were presenting were rejects from a failed sex toy manufacturer.
It's a sad day when someone as lovely as France's First Lady thinks she has to do something about her looks. And what has she done? She now looks way to much like that crazy catwoman in NY.
ReplyDeleteCongrats to MO for winning such a prestigious award. *ahem* Next it'll be a No Bell Prize or the Pullet Surprise for her.
MO didn't get her overseas 'vacation' for the First Princesses, she must be so p.o'd.no wonder BO finally went to Afghanistan. Actually, his first choice was a moon flight, then he remembered he cancelled them..
ReplyDeleteHow ironic that she would get an award from a cable network for children for telling those very children to shut the TV off and go play outside. Not very good marketing, I'd say.
ReplyDeleteOr, they realize that her message is crap but they're trying to suck-up to the WH to prevent them from scaring away all those important foodie sponsors who pay the bills.
As a devotee of former FL Barbara Bush's monologue "How To Control Your Children And Make Them Feel Guilty", I should remind all that blaming your offspring for your wrinkles and grey hair is most effective.
Funky, I knew that you meant poser - what else? Raj does have a weekend peripheral device trainging program, if your phone continues to misbehave.
ReplyDeleteMadameD! We just happen to have an opening for another Esthetician on staff! Let me know if you're interested. I ran an ad on Craigs List, but I must have misspelled, because I got applications form Bill Bennet and a bunch of ethics professors from the Ivy League. That's a hoot, no?
Anon, rehersed? For Big Guy? Surely you jest. He's the one they've been waiting for.
Portia, We've already applied for next years No Belle Laureate for Lady M: Bio-physics.
Anon2, We've also looking into a trip to Space Mountain. I don't think we've taken over Disneyworld yet, so it's still operating.
srdem, The O's are all about making people feel guilty!
A pic of Carla in her elegant clothes next to the First Wookie in - what the hell is that anyway - Argyle by Elmer Fudd? Speak volumes.
ReplyDeleteOne is a first lady, and the other a looney toon.
Silly MOTUS... Barry's not the Commander-in-Chief ...He's the DEMANDER in Chief!
ReplyDeleteI demand you give all your money to me.
I demand you turn your company over to me.
I demand you vote the way I want you to.
I demand the media pretend my wife's beautiful and stylish.
I demand a lavish vacation every 3 weeks for my bitter wife.
I demand unbridled use of Air Force 1 because it is my favorite toy.
Every time I try to find a bagel that tastes like a NY bagel, and am disappointed, somebody suggests that its because of NYC water used in the local bagels.
ReplyDeleteI think I have discovered another attribute of that "magical" water. It makes hair grow! Who knew! MO's hair in her award picture is noticeably longer than prior to the NYC trip..
S'cuse me must go drink several quarts, have been trying to grow this last haircut out for months!
Thank you, all of you ladies (any gents among the anon?), for so many laughs on this cold and rainy NH day. I'm trying to believe spring is here, but it's still as chilly and cold as MO's smile.
ReplyDeleteAn Ivy-league ethics professor? Isn't that an oxymoron?
Anonymous ~ as to the cheering and applause for BO being rehearsed, I'd bet ya it was. We lived in England when Monica Lewinsky's lover that said "I did NOT have sex with that woman, Ms. Lewinsky" came to the American cemetery in Cambridge England.
ReplyDeleteAs my husband was in the military we got a first hand view of how they encouraged Air Force members to volunteer to attend. When there weren't many volunteers (as you probably remember the military had very little respect for him) they turned up the encouragement level a little bit until finally the "volunteers" were TOLD they'd be at the bus at such & such an hour to head to Cambridge.
So I'm thinking the military members in the photo op with the Poser-in-Chief were similarly "encouraged"...
MOTUS, you'll have to keep us updated
ReplyDeleteon the upcoming Carla-Michelle smackdown.
That silly old Carla, thinking she could be as glowing, majestic, and gorgeous as MOOchelle.
There's argyle and then there's aaaarghyle.
ReplyDeleteAnd, while I'm not a huge Carla fan in terms of character etc., I felt a little sorry for her when she got caught in very unflattering light and then subjected to international ridicule.
Any ridicule of MeChelle, OTOH, warms the cockles of my mean-spirited little heart.
btw Motus its Mr. Spock, not Dr. The good doctor Spock was the baby doctor, not a Vulcan.
ReplyDeleteBut I think Zero looks more like Snoop Dog without the accoutrements anyway.
Obama has Spock's ears but his wife has Spock's eyebrows.
ReplyDeleteIf I were O's wife, I'd want the ears.
Mrs. P