Saturday, September 25, 2010

Lady M’s Fall Farm Fabulosity Tour

I confess, I had some reservations about having lunch on a farm. When people talk about farm-to-table eating they generally envision the table being a little further upwind from the chicken coops.

But as it turned out there was nothing to worry about. This is a trophy farm. You know, kind of a Martha Stewart kind of place? Although we did wear WON of our favorite “farm” frocks and had our share of photo-ops with free range chickens.

having funHaving fun with chickens – free range, of course 

and real farm fields:

walking with pedro Walking tour with chef, Danno, and Secret Service guy, disguised as Pedro

...as well as adorable little children:

smelly Eeewww! What is that smell? Chickens?

But everything worked out great, the Blue Hill restaurant at Stone Barns Farm is way upwind. We had to catch a ride to get there:

drivingTrolley ride to the Blue Hill Restaurant at Stone Barns Farm

If you think “Blue Hill” sounds familiar, it’s because the Blue Hill Restaurant – not at the farm -  is the New York restaurant that Lady M and Big Guy went to for their first post-ordination inauguration date night. So you know it’s special.

Stone Barns Farm is where they actually raise some of the organic stuff they serve at Blue Hill that makes it so special: veggies, chickens and god-only-knows what else – I think maybe snails.

MO was delighted to greet some of her old friends from last year’s UN General Assembly spouses luncheon.

chantal_biya Lady M with Chantal Biya, FL of Cameroon (FLOC), at Stone Barns Farm

In case you’re concerned that Chantal is having a bad hair day due to the humidity at the farm, don’t worry. She always wears it that way: and it’s not a wighat! Honest.

carla-bruni-935

The First Ladies of the world (FLOW) all pretended to have a good time ogling tomatoes and chickens. Of course half of the First Ladies of the world are all too familiar with raising chickens – in fact, many of them could’ve shown MO how to slaughter one if she really wanted to get up close and personal with the food she was eating.

HAITIAN FL Elizabeth Preval, FL of Haiti. I can neither confirm nor deny whether Granny R knows her.

And I’m pretty sure that at least one of them could have done it halal style.

slide_11022_144942_large  

The food was obviously fabulous, because Lady M brought 3 of her own personal chefs to see to it. Here’s our menu, complete with wine selections:

Starter: 
Summer Fruit And Vegetables
White House sun golds, homemade yogurt, purslane


Wine Pairing:
 
Lieb Cellars Pinot Blanc (Long Island, NY) 2008

 
Appetizer:
 
This Morning's Farm Egg
5 late summer beans from the White House & Our House


Wine Pairing: 
Red Hook Winery Chardonnay 'Jamesport Vineyard,' North Fork Long Island, 2008

 
Main
Stone Barns Pastured Chicken
White House herbs, eggplant, ratatouille

 
Wine Pairing
Copain Pinot Noit 'Wentzel Vineyard' Anderson Valley, California 2007


Dessert
Sacher Cake
Red Jacket apricots, White House sorbet

Not really much to eat there, which explains all the wine. And the large snack bag that MO packed for the trip.

slide_11022_144942_large

Oddly, for our farm-to-table-meal, which is all about eating local,  we brought a lot of stuff with us all the way from the Big White organic garden.  Which, by my calculation, is about 275 miles away from the Stone Barns. Butt, since we had to fly our chefs up anyway, it’s not like there was any impact on our carbon footprint. I think there’s a locavore loophole for that. Besides, the meal wouldn’t have been anywhere near as special without those 5 beans.

mrs obama's placesetting Lady M’s Placesetting                           photo: Obama Foodorama

By the way, you’ll be pleased to know that Stone Barns grows spinach at the farm year round, and it sells for only $10/lb! Well, no one said it would be cheap to get rid of our fat behinds. Of course, if you’re not fortunate enough to live near the farm, or their fabulous New York Blue Hill restaurant, you can still get conventional spinach in the grocery store too, usually for around $3 for a big bag.

Someone (it might have been that other Michelle) once asked, what is it with Democrats and leafy greens? Remember Big Guy’s stump speech to the farmers in Iowa:

“Anybody gone into Whole Foods lately and see what they charge for arugula? I mean, they’re charging a lot of money for this stuff.”

Of course, the Fox trolls immediately had to point out that there isn’t a Whole Foods Market anywhere in the entire state of Iowa. As if that somehow negated BO’s point.

But sure enough, that’s all it took for other critics of Big Guy to start referring to this as “typical liberal arugulance.” How juvenile.

1arug

Poster Art by Tennyson H/T Michelle Malkin

As is the protocol for these events, Lady M gave a little welcome speech before lunch was served. She explained all about our “No kids’ fat behind” program, her organic garden and why it’s so important to all the little children in America. Then, since MO likes to personalize these little talks, she shared a personal story about how wee-won Sasha had been a tomatophobe until she was won over by an heirloom tomato, pesto, basil, mozzarella sandwich. Seriously, what is it about leafy green herbs?

But the highlight of her remarks was this little insight into who really runs the Big White:

"The most important people in the President and my family’s life, are the people who feed us.”

Who would’ve guessed? Axe-man, Rhambo, Summers, Rohmer, Orszag: nobody will miss them. But our chefs? They can name their own price.

You’re probably wondering what we put in this year’s goodie basket  that Lady M presented to the FLOWs. In keeping with our theme this year, it was chock full of good-for-you vegetables: All from Lady M’s toxic organic garden.

pickled-okra-in-a-basket-made-exclusively-for-michelle-obama-550x366

The goodies included jars of pickled stuff: sun gold tomatoes, cucumbers, chocolate bell peppers (not really chocolate at all, just brown), carrots, and – here’s a stroke of genius – okra! And all the jars have Lady M’s personal signature. There is absolutely no truth to the silly right wing rumor that the ladies had to pick their own vegetables.

That’s what we have illegal immigrants and comedians for.

colbert

94 comments:

  1. Lordy, I need to get out more; I don't even know what a "pastured chicken" might be.  5 beans? is that like a spoonful?
    And I am shocked, really, that the most important people in the O's life isn't the American people but a bunch of chefs.
    Shocked!!  

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  2. The look on the faces of the FLs in picture one is priceless.  "We came all the way to the US to look at chicken?"

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  3. Surprise, a Rockefeller...David...is the money behind this wasp version of heaven.

    The baskets had tags on them that said they were made especially for Michelle Obama. I guess she personally paid for them herself. How generous.

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  4. What a weird menu for a lunch.  I didn't realize they did a wine pairing with each course at lunch!  But then, what do I know I've never been to a five course State lunch.  Maybe the plan was to make them so drunk they didn't know how bad the food was.

    But seriously,  'five bean whatever'  course could have disastrous consequences; unless MO fortified them with some Beano beforehand (which I doubt very much she did!) 

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  5. MichelleIndependentSeptember 25, 2010 12:27 PM

    I'm sure she personally grew everything and toiled in the garden each day until the plants were mature. Then she personally harvested them, cleaned them, and stayed up until midnight cooking and sweating to can, pickle or preserve them.

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  6. MichelleIndependentSeptember 25, 2010 12:28 PM

    Well, if MOO can't eat, then she's going to drink!

    Just saying!

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  7. MichelleIndependentSeptember 25, 2010 12:29 PM

    Dessert? Dessert's on the menu? I thought that wasn't a right!

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  8. after that I would have gone to mcdonalds for a big Mac and lagre fries washed down with a coke

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  9. "The most important people in the President and my family’s life, are the people who feed us.”

    No, this doesn't suprise me at all -- I've seen the photos.

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  10. Me, too.  Maybe a Diet Coke..gotta watch the calories.

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  11. What was the point of this? I mean, what was the point? I guess she couldn't criticize international kids' behinds and she had spent her 5 min a month on military families, so what was left but that d*mned garden? I guess she could have modeled her umpteen million dresses for the ladies or shown the vaca pics from Spain. There really isn't much to MO, is there?

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  12. These ladies do look just miserable about whatever is going on with that chicken in the top photo, though the lady in the hijab at least has her plastered smile working.
    For MO, that's just too much of an effort when a scowl, a slump and hanging her arms over the rail like a rube (apologies all my ruby friends) will do.
    Really, an appropriate caption would be: "Three first ladies learn about chicken farming from a farmworker (second from left), who enjoys the chance their visit gives her to take a rest from her toils."

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  13. Am still laughing about the entire situation!  I love your clever style of writing! 

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  14. Why does MOO insist on looking like a housewife from the '60's?

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  15. Mary Quite-ContrarySeptember 25, 2010 1:34 PM

    Five beans, three whines, and a gaggle of drunk FLOWs...at least MO got to look 'petite.'  (Ear peice wearing aide; speaking into their sleeve...'quick, Agent Johnson get Shelli to stand w/the Cameroon FL...0

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  16. June Cleaver?--She's NOT!

    This incessant 'retro' look is so stupid for her because she wasn't even born until 1964...the same year I graduated from high school!

    Why do these Marxo-Socialists want to turn back to the times of the Cold War?  To further their agendas, of course!

    Notice on her Memorial Day FUN-tastic HAPPY weekend in Chicago, she didn't look soooo 'retro' at all...just DUMPY!

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  17. Riiiight...with an ugly, greasy wighat, stinking of goose-greasy sweat!

    MOO and Barky are two of the biggest BS cons I've have ever seen!

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  18. I've got a 'scoop' from BigFurHat. Apparently MOO was NOT happy that the FLOC Chantal, upstaged her.
    SOOO...she arranged an 'emergency appointment' with her personal wighat engineer and...VOILA!
    See for yourselves.
    It's not a look for everybody, but I actually think MOO is workin' it.
    It kinda gives her a personality even.

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  19. I'm not sure about that.  MO can only be termed 'petite' in comparison to the Cameroon FL if you only considering their relative heights.  MO is definitely broader, especially in the 'bottom'.
    Here's 'Jammie Wearing Fool' trying to solve this math problem: which is larger; FL Cameroon's hair or MO's behind:-
    http://jammiewearingfool.blogspot.com/2010/09/todays-math-problem.html

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  20. Superb. It would look great on her if she wears it with a gingham, pinafore-type, babydoll dress with a frilly ruffle. And she can carry one of her baskets. Sort of a fashion-foraward, really edgy Little Orphan Annie look.

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  21. Wow, that flaming red hair gives her just the touch of flamboyance she has probably longed for all her life. 

    But it is missing something.  She'd probably love to complete the look with something like this (I can't photoshop, but ideally the over the top red wighat along with the crown/tiara below would make it just perfect!) :

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  22. BFH is incorrigible. Might make a great avatar when I get tired of Pizza hat.

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  23. Or Bette Davis in""Whatever happened to Jane'

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  24. No wine with dessert?

    Sasha's quite the pampered little princess, isn't she? An heirloom tomato, pesto, basil, and mozzarella sandwich. We had mayonaise and nothing else on our tomato sandwiches.

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  25. I think hijab lady might be thinking about cutting off the chicken's head.

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  26. All this crap coming from a woman from the south side of Chicago.  A woman who probably never had a garden or cooked a "healthy" meal in her life.  She is the Earth Mother who is an expert in gardening,  nutrition, chocolate bell peppers and okra (urg).
    -----and now she want to take it global----
    >:o

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  27. Maybe it's a nod to the Civil Rights Movement era?

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  28. Hail, our very own Princess AfAm AffAc!

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  29. Tomato and mayo sandwich,  I used to love them...

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  30. Exactly!  Not too much gardenin' goin' on in the south side of Chicago.  She can do nothing but pose, pose, pose...pretend...and pose some more.  Sick.

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  31. I can just imagine the other first ladies thinking...."I could have stayed in the Third World to see free range chickens..." 
    SaraB

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  32. OK, and can we please talk about appropriate footwear for walking around a FARM? Silver extreme pointy-toed kitten heels are what MOO chooses to wear to the farm? You really gotta wonder if this woman has ever even been off a freakin' sidewalk. Is this whole thing a joke? Because, seriously, otherwise I just don't get it. Lady Michelle "does" the farm. Whatever.

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  33. Me too, but only if it was Miracle Whip.

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  34. Mary Quite-ContrarySeptember 25, 2010 4:27 PM

    That's that NEW OBAMA, NEA sponsored math!!!  Mass x volume x weave...

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  35. Mary Quite-ContrarySeptember 25, 2010 4:28 PM

    Please, please...never tire of PizzaHat.  Its an fashion and culinary classic :)

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  36. You're right Bijou,  if MOO is going to hang out with this crowd, she needs to crank up the wighats.  Nobody trumps MOO.

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  37. And after receiving the cheap gift basket, she probably thought about cutting off MOO's head.  Wonder how many of those gift baskets got tossed out as soon as the ladies got back to their hotels.

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  38. A little like Beyonce...FFA competes with her so this is just right.

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  39. A little like Beyonce...FFA competes with her so this is just right.

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  40. In my house, "the people who feed us" are me, and sometimes my husband.  I imagine it's that way for most people.

    No wonder she's so excited about visiting chickens and so forth.  She's probably never seen any before!  

    This whole White House garden thing is just her new hobby.  After she decided to tell everyone what to eat, she discovered how vegetables are grown, and it fascinates her.

    Wonder if she knows how to do laundry?

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  41. This is the first First Lady I've ever seen who has two distinct, completely different, appearance personnas:  One, sans makeup and hair for vacation (notice how much she looks like an angry man); and another, with heavy make-up and fancy wighat for official functions.

    Come to think of it, this is the first PERSON I've ever seen who functions in such a split-personality way.  Most people look at least SOMEWHAT the same on vacation as at work (though more casual on vacation).  Maybe it's the hair (or lack thereof, depending) that makes the contrast so stark.

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  42. Clueless gift-giving continues in this WH.  Aren't there restrictions on bringing produce related food matter (even organic ones) into most countries?
    I've seen better looking gourmet baskets with better choices, even as corporate giveaways.  Is this the best America can give to the spouses of dignitaries; and how does this basket represent America?  Sorry, I forgot it is all about MO.  Are these veggies supposed to be from her miracle organic/toxic garden? 

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  43. Make that an angry, balding man.

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  44. MJ, I suspect every single basket was given to a maid at the hotel.

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  45. Oh, Granny, where is my pigfoot hat?

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  46. You've got it. There was no thought of giving a present that reflects our nation. The thinking apparently was "MO is the host. MO is the important lady friend. MO gives gift. She must give MO gift."

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  47. Not much gardening, true, Montana...butt they do like to plant a lot of BULLETS!

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  48. The Wall Street Journal's Washington Wire paid very special attention to the ladies' footwear, complete with a photo!

    http://blogs.wsj.com/washwire/2010/09/24/michelle-obamas-farm-trip/

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  49. Jules, excellent idea. MOO would not be satisfied just to be a 'copy cat'.
    She didn't get to be a world class fashion icon by being timid, after all!
    It wasn't easy, though. Sigh. You'd think diamond tiaras were hard to find or something.
    Butt, after just a few screaming fits, and about a hundred phone calls, staff came through.
    Who dares gild the lily? MOO, of course. VOILA!

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  50. Didn't all the communist countries have their picture perfect collective farms to show to tourists and the foreign press for propaganda purposes?

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  51. MOO is in one of the most exciting cities in the world, and she trucks the First Wives up to Westchester County to visit an organic farm.  I read that on the invitation, she suggested "farm appropriate attire."  Who in their right mind among the FWs would come dressed in grubbies, knowing that the photos would be front news on their countries' papers the next day?

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  52. -

    Exactly what I have been thinking, SaraB!

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  53. I remember my dad--one of six--said his widowed mother couldn't afford BLT's. So it was just T sandwiches--from the garden--and he loved them.

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  54. I remember my dad--one of six--said his widowed mother couldn't afford BLT's. So it was just T sandwiches--from the garden--and he loved them.

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  55. I remember my dad--one of six--said his widowed mother couldn't afford BLT's. So it was just T sandwiches--from the garden--and he loved them.

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  56. MichelleIndependentSeptember 25, 2010 8:24 PM

    I'm surprised MOO didn't just say, "Hey, everyone, just grab
    a chicken on the way out. That's your gift."

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  57. When you think of it, it must be a very trying and stressful lifestyle.

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  58. Granny Jan - Shouldn't that hand basket say "Road To Hell" on it or something? 

    *hint, hint*

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  59. I am fine with her "All About MO" gifts.  These women are not fools - they probably have her figured out.  Her gaffes are hers alone - not ours.  Works for me.

    BTW, I think it's a riot that the FL of Cameroon was wearing a Chanel pantsuit - which was shocking pink, not purple.  She is a striking woman with a very pretty face and far more naturally elegant bearing than MOO.  And she looks like she'd be great fun.

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  60. I am fine with her "All About MO" gifts.  These women are not fools - they probably have her figured out.  Her gaffes are hers alone - not ours.  Works for me.

    BTW, I think it's a riot that the FL of Cameroon was wearing a Chanel pantsuit - which was shocking pink, not purple.  She is a striking woman with a very pretty face and far more naturally elegant bearing than MOO.  And she looks like she'd be great fun.

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  61. And don't even get be started on Colbert. So now comedians get to go Washington in character and do their schtick as part of official Congressional proceedings?  
    Supposedly he came to make a point about immigration.  Actually he made a fool of himself and a mockery of our system.  And at one point was almost thrown out by a Democrat.  But if the Dems can elect SNL alumni Franken (who still hasn't learned to 'play' Senator, BTW), it doesn't surprise me at all that they would use a comedian to distract from the racial and corrupt info about the DOJ coming out the Coates hearing that was happening that day.

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  62. What's the deal with her real hair? Does anyone know?

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  63. Moo doesn't cook.  At all.  This is just so much Axelrod spin to get rid of her real image of angry black woman.

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  64. UN General Assembly spouses luncheon? Looks more like a 5th grade field trip. She looks and sounds  like a fool per usual.

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  65. And another "Yes".  What I was thinking, too!  These ladies do not come from nations that have the blessings of the U.S.A.  However...MOO and BOO are trying their best to make sure we, too, will all live at the Third World level...i.e. get very acquainted with 'pasteured chickens', and not much else in the way of protein.  They make me sick.

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  66. Well said, Jules.  Very well said.

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  67. Make that 'pastured' chickens...Sorry.

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  68. Were only some of the spouses invited?  Or did most of them make up excuses?  Someone on another blog wondered how come MO just got the B team to head out with her on this little adventure.

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  69. <span>Were only some of the spouses invited?</span>
    All I know is that Carla was in NY for the UN pow-wow but didn't make it to the farm.

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  70. You can never be sure of the color of fabrics.  Look at these two pictures from the same article found here:
    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1315114/Pictured-Michelle-Obamas-hair-raising-encounter-First-Lady-Cameroon.html
    On the left it looks kind of hot pink or fuchsia on the right a little more purplish (they might be up to some 'color correction' with MO's skin tone):

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  71. The theory sems to be that you can eat almost anything if there's enough wine with it.  Adult beverages seem to be among MOO's favorite food groups - along with ice cream and fries.

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  72. The theory sems to be that you can eat almost anything if there's enough wine with it.  Adult beverages seem to be among MOO's favorite food groups - along with ice cream and fries.

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  73. The theory sems to be that you can eat almost anything if there's enough wine with it.  Adult beverages seem to be among MOO's favorite food groups - along with ice cream and fries.

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  74. Free-range aka wandering about chickens are the only kind most of them have ever seen.  They must think she is batty to be ecstatic over dirty old chickens. And even the reporterette commented on the smell.  There would be c........ s... everywhere.  So much for the silver ballet flats.

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  75. Revising my opinion - it's looking more like magenta - and MOO is looking more AA.

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  76. Carla would rather have her hair pulled out, strand by strand, than attend a grubby mind-numbing affair like this one.  She probably opted for shopping and a leisurely, luxurious lunch.

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  77. Or perhaps "Hell in a hand-basket"? xoxo, Moo

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  78. MO may not have wanted Carla there either.  It's never a good idea to stand alongside some one so much skinnier/ prettier than you (MO must be still smarting from her visit of the Spanish royals) 
    Not to mention the angst MO must feel about Carla's alleged revelations of MO's alleged statements about being FLOTUS(Hint: it is all in her name!) denied by both parties, of course.

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  79. What a bunch of fucking posers. Everything these smiling bitches wear from top to bottom is made possible from technology invented by whites males. Everything that transmits their hypocritical images is invented by white guys. So, where are the white gals? Better yet, everything they enjoy about life is invented by free Americans, among whom no one's color matters. Do you see regular Americans there? NO. You see a covered woman looking for halal. I'm feeling very racist here. I never used to feel like that. Tell me one negro who even thought of the term "BOAT", and I shall desist. Until then, I still challange anyone to top Whities contribution to human comfort, from the toilet to the curling iron.

    Consider that a dare, MOO.    

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  80. Exactly what I was thinking, Moright.  ;)

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  81. I guess that's what happens when you decline dinner wtih the Sarkozys while in France, and then have them over to the private residence for an "intimate" dinner. Actions do have consequences.

    Here is a real speech by a real president that will never come close to anything out of the month of our Dear Leader.

    http://www.youtube.com/v/rlt2GE4EYo4" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="170" height="140

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  82. I'd like to know who drew the short straw and got to ask Moo why "African Americans" treat actual African immigrants like crap for wanting and education and being willing to work.

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  83. That remark that MOO was quoted saying  would not have been in print anywhere in the world if she had not in fact said it.

    The author of the book is standing by it.  And I have not seen a legal action filed here or in France, have you?

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  84. I'm sure they did think she was a total nutcase. Here they were, in New York, with world-famous shopping, museums, and cultural events, and she takes them to a farm! To see chickens running around! Almost all of those ladies were from the Third World. I'd be willing to bet more than one of them could have shown her a thing or two about chickens, including how to get one from the "pasture" to the table in an hour or so. Our entire White House is an international joke! (And the press kept trying to portray the Bushes as Texas ignoramuses!)

    I keep thinking, hasn't she been to Kenya with BO? Doesn't she know that not everybody in the world has Whole Foods or even supermarkets? Well, doesn't she??

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  85. Dessert isn't a right for Americans. Those from other countries, however, are entitled.

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  86. The FL's probably didn't believe they would really need rubber boots on this outing.  We used to have a ranch and that's what you wear when you're sharing space with animals.  I can just imagine what the FL's tell their friends when they get home and speak of their trip to America, the leader of the free world.

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  87. Oh, and a real First Lady.

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  88. If I were a FL, I would be too sick to attend the "Farm Out".  What a boring life if this is what they have to do while their husbands watch OBs (Other Butts)

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  89. The baskets themselves are very expensive...maybe a keeper if MO's logo can be removed.

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  90. Nothing exceeds like excess!

    Snark contender

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  91. use a comedian to distract from the racial and corrupt info about the DOJ coming out the Coates hearing that was happening that day.
    Exactly!

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  92. I thought I saw her in one of the pictures...

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  93. Here she is...with the Big Hairdo...maybe not at the farm??

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