Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Welcome to our Tea Party

big guy madhatter copy

Following the good news that the recession ended in June – of 2009 - Big Guy held a town hall meeting to accept the thanks of the grateful citizens. He may have gotten a bit ahead of himself, as the friendly crowd seemed a bit, shall be say, disillusioned.

So Big Guy turned the discussion instead to someone he could blame. Since GWB isn’t playing so well lately, he chose the Tea Party (whom he hadn’t even heard of as of April). He challenged them to identify programs or budget items they’d be willing to cut if they want to reduce federal spending.

"The challenge, I think, for the Tea Party movement is to identify specifically, what would you do?”

You have got to be kidding me? Even I, a mere Big White reflective device, know how stupid it is to throw that challenge down.

Has he not ever watched Fox News Network? (that’s rhetorical, of course). Since he hasn’t, I’ve prepared a list of a few things the Tea Party people have been tossing around at the hundreds of Tea Parties they’ve been throwing from coast to coast for the past year - just so he doesn’t get caught completely flat footed.

Just off the top, here’s what I’ve heard they would cut or eliminate gladly:

  • Obamacare: (hands down the number 1 vote getter)
  • Funding for building mosques in the Middle East, as well as State Department sponsored trips for Imans traveling to the Middle East in order to raise money for terrorists who want to kill us
  • SEIU backed school food programs
  • Lavish vacations and date night trips that require use of official Air Force aircraft

And THEN, when they’re done having a little fun and get serious, they’re going to make Sharon Angle sound like a spendthrift. I’ve seen their demands. They’re specific and include, but are not limited to, the following:

  • First, they want a hiring freeze for the entire Federal Government. And an end to all special government retirement and medical plans, including Congress’ and the Administrative branch’s: roll like the rest of us.
  • Next, they want to eliminate the Department of Energy, The Department of Education, the Department of Labor, the  Department of Commerce, Department of Consumer Affairs, and all other departments and agencies whose responsibilities and powers are not identified in Article 1, Section 8 of the Constitution. That’s what we have a free enterprise system for.
  • Oh yeah, and they want to kill all subsidies and funding for “alternative” energy – that’s one of the other things capitalists have proved themselves to be pretty good at: creating new energy sources.
  • And since you asked, they want to cancel our membership in the UN and the World Bank too.

However,they do want to beef up Defense (especially since we now, officially, have no allies left in the entire world) and keep Treasury in tact with the exception of the IRS, which can be reduced by 75% by simplifying the tax code.

But here’s another expenditure the Tea Party would approve of: if you have to pay a little more to get someone who actually knows something about business and economics to run Treasury, go ahead. The Tea Party will support that expenditure.

timmy does he scare you too

That little chipmunk, currently making squeaky noises in China’s direction that they will ignore, really isn’t cutting it...


  especially if he’s buying the story about the recession being over.little guy copies big guyLittle guy, emulating Big Guy,  playing “tag” with Elizabeth Warren on their way to the Rose Garden. Oh, and as far as the Tea Party is concerned, you can ax the new Consumer Financial Protection Services agency too.

The Tea Party would also like to pass on this specific piece of information: even Cuba and Russia have figured out that Obamanomics don’t work. Both have announced in the past week the layoff of thousands of government workers.

So, sheesh, if the ex-Commies, and soon-to-be ex-Commies are doing it, how hard can it be?