Following the good news that the recession ended in June – of 2009 - Big Guy held a town hall meeting to accept the thanks of the grateful citizens. He may have gotten a bit ahead of himself, as the friendly crowd seemed a bit, shall be say, disillusioned.
So Big Guy turned the discussion instead to someone he could blame. Since GWB isn’t playing so well lately, he chose the Tea Party (whom he hadn’t even heard of as of April). He challenged them to identify programs or budget items they’d be willing to cut if they want to reduce federal spending.
"The challenge, I think, for the Tea Party movement is to identify specifically, what would you do?”
You have got to be kidding me? Even I, a mere Big White reflective device, know how stupid it is to throw that challenge down.
Has he not ever watched Fox News Network? (that’s rhetorical, of course). Since he hasn’t, I’ve prepared a list of a few things the Tea Party people have been tossing around at the hundreds of Tea Parties they’ve been throwing from coast to coast for the past year - just so he doesn’t get caught completely flat footed.
Just off the top, here’s what I’ve heard they would cut or eliminate gladly:
- Obamacare: (hands down the number 1 vote getter)
- Funding for building mosques in the Middle East, as well as State Department sponsored trips for Imans traveling to the Middle East in order to raise money for terrorists who want to kill us
- SEIU backed school food programs
- Lavish vacations and date night trips that require use of official Air Force aircraft
And THEN, when they’re done having a little fun and get serious, they’re going to make Sharon Angle sound like a spendthrift. I’ve seen their demands. They’re specific and include, but are not limited to, the following:
- First, they want a hiring freeze for the entire Federal Government. And an end to all special government retirement and medical plans, including Congress’ and the Administrative branch’s: roll like the rest of us.
- Next, they want to eliminate the Department of Energy, The Department of Education, the Department of Labor, the Department of Commerce, Department of Consumer Affairs, and all other departments and agencies whose responsibilities and powers are not identified in Article 1, Section 8 of the Constitution. That’s what we have a free enterprise system for.
- Oh yeah, and they want to kill all subsidies and funding for “alternative” energy – that’s one of the other things capitalists have proved themselves to be pretty good at: creating new energy sources.
- And since you asked, they want to cancel our membership in the UN and the World Bank too.
However,they do want to beef up Defense (especially since we now, officially, have no allies left in the entire world) and keep Treasury in tact with the exception of the IRS, which can be reduced by 75% by simplifying the tax code.
But here’s another expenditure the Tea Party would approve of: if you have to pay a little more to get someone who actually knows something about business and economics to run Treasury, go ahead. The Tea Party will support that expenditure.
That little chipmunk, currently making squeaky noises in China’s direction that they will ignore, really isn’t cutting it...
especially if he’s buying the story about the recession being over.
Little guy, emulating Big Guy, playing “tag” with Elizabeth Warren on their way to the Rose Garden. Oh, and as far as the Tea Party is concerned, you can ax the new Consumer Financial Protection Services agency too.
The Tea Party would also like to pass on this specific piece of information: even Cuba and Russia have figured out that Obamanomics don’t work. Both have announced in the past week the layoff of thousands of government workers.
So, sheesh, if the ex-Commies, and soon-to-be ex-Commies are doing it, how hard can it be?
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Brilliant and comprehensive, MOTUS!
ReplyDeleteOh, and get rid of the Czars, more leeches at the trough (note to self: metaphor doesn't work).
Smashing rundown, MOTUS! It feels like a breath of fresh air wafting over the stench of the government we now endure. Thank you for this excellent summary and for the picture of Little Timmy with the dry heaves! Let's have a caption contest for that one.
ReplyDeleteSmarmy, unctuous, barf-inducing.. those are the words that I use to describe BHO's incessant touching. Did you catch the Getty photo of BO's eyeliner yesterday?
ReplyDeleteI agree ... but you forgot with everything you said MOTUS I think Camp David will do just fine for the remiander of his term an if thats not enough he can (and the family) jump into the limo and drive around the beltway several times I might also add NO further State dinners and kobi beef sliders as well
ReplyDeleteI meant to say that I agree with eberything that youve saoid MOTUS...
ReplyDeleteI need another cup of coffee
ReplyDeleteDid you say Kobe beef slider. #2:
ReplyDeleteThis picture always reminds me of Activia commercials for some reason. Is this a pre-cleansing pic?
ReplyDeleteWell done, and all that before tea! One disagreement: Instead of sequestering them in DC so they can forget us, which is their preference, make them stay in their districts in public housing. Then their peeps can have 24/7 access to them and they can vote online.
ReplyDeleteAlso, if the entire Constitution can be under 40 pages (depending on Font size) all new bills and laws must also be that size. If lawmakers have not read it, or need a lawyer to interpret it, they can't sign it.
ReplyDeleteDid you forget find and deport every single illegal alien in the U.S.?
ReplyDeleteThe DREAM Act, which is instant amnesty for an unknown quantity of people smuggled into the US by their illegal alien parents is being voted on today at noon. Persons up to age 35 are being referred to as DREAMies, persons who arrived here at age 15 are being called "kids who know no other country than the U.S." -- these nightmare-amnesty "kids" will be able to sponsor the parents who smuggled them in -- and the rest of the immediate family no matter how large.
This is what illegal alien parents did -- smuggle in kids in hopes that eventually they would be made American. We are rewarding lawbreaking and encouraging more illegal immigration.
Oh, that is completely fabulous! And you say you can't do a pigs' foot horn hat for me!
ReplyDeleteGreenlantern, I'll start off: "No, Timmy, don't hop. Raise one foot and put it on the step."
ReplyDeleteLookin' at that pic of Timmy, someone needs to send him to the dentist for a whitening!!!!!!! ;) =-O
ReplyDeleteSorry, I just can't stop staring at that loving hand on Geithner's back ... especially after that limp, non-touching hand-at-side 'First Couple kiss' photo from yesterday's post.
ReplyDeleteIF the recession did end in July 2009:
ReplyDelete-BO had nothing to do with ending it.
-The huge Porkulus/Stimulus to fix the "greatest recession
since the Great Depression" was totally unnecessary (as we
found in hindsight )
-All the steps taken by BO have only made it worse.
So BO and his economic team shouldn't be flaunting this timeline.
My idea was that they be cut off from all outside influence, which would include people offering money for votes. If they are in a complete news vacuum, with the idea that once they leave they are completely dependent on the economy they have helped create, they may have to actually be realistic about the laws they pass. And they won't have feedback for whether the laws they are passing are helping special interest groups, or particular regions of the country. Thus, laws will be short (1000 characters or less) and generic.
ReplyDeleteThe community housing I am imagining would be spartan, with few frills. There will be no access to the internet, news, movies, music, or family. Think of a monastery/convent with vows of poverty. It will put the "service" back into public service. Food will be plain but nutritious. Medical care will be plain. Life will be quite boring.
We will need some sort of figurehead to deal with visiting royalty and make appearances at funerals and such. I'm thinking of nominating Biden for that post, as a lifetime appointment. He is already used to being hidden away between appearances, and nobody really listens to him anyway.
Ah, MOTUS, how about putting a limit on the staff of the East Wing. Along with the growth of the Presidency, with many offices now unaccountable to Congress (E Warren being but the latest) who wield power without accountability, let's see about reducing the staff of the First Lady, hhmmmmmm?
ReplyDeleteMooch has about 22, 24 staffers (though she does without the services of a speech coach, apparently, and of course she fired and did not replace the person who checked the invitation list to State Dinners, oopsie!)
I'm not talking about the household staff (though perhaps Mooch could pitch in on the bedmaking, laundry etc. I kid!)
The White House has a budget for these things, and while I think it would make a good impression on the American people to adopt an austerity regime, this is obviously unrealistic.
I'm talking about the political office of the East Wing, which amounts to a staff that promotes the Obamas statist agenda and which we pay for. And Mooch's personal staff, the person who does the spackling, face contouring, etc, the wig wrangler, the false eyelash handler, the person who sews her into last years's dresses, that we also pay for. So, Let's put a cap on the East Wing. After all, in a few years the First Dude will be occupying it, and I doubt he will need much in the way of vanity staff.
Reading about Mooch's possible disasters/potential wardrobe malfunctions this week has me in overdrive. Today we have another solemn ceremony for an American hero who has received the MOH. Mooch will doubtless break out another cocktail dress and behave inappropriately, smiling widely at her own (entirely imaginary) hotness, hugging people who don't want to be hugged, etc.
Then, on Thursday she will address the Clinton Global initiative on an "international" issue. We're not told what it is -- boob belts for everyone? I am sure Mooch has never noticed that in our great country, poor kids are fat (she ascribes this to racism and oppression and evil food companies) whereas around the world, poor kids are thin. Very, very thin. Starving, in fact. I wonder if she will try to enroll them in a Global Let's Move! program.
In between she takes some spouses to a sustainable locavore organic pretend farm where they will pretend to garden and handle food.
Marie Antoinette, anyone!
And again, we're paying for it all.
That beige and gold striped wallpaper looks cheaper and drabber close up.
ReplyDeleteIt's OK, Timmy. Michelle's cooking affects me that way, too. Let's just go out and get some Big Macs. We'll supersize the fries.
ReplyDelete"<span>If lawmakers have not read it, or need a lawyer to interpret it, they can't sign it."</span>
ReplyDeleteI second that!! It's criminal to pass laws that they haven't read and understood.
My husband tells me that they have a "no rider" law in Arizona's constitution (if memory serves). Sounds like an interesting idea. Do any of you know anything more about it?
MOTUS, I have to report a crime! MOO's been kidnapped and they've substituted a wax figure in her place at the WH today. Oh, the humanity:
ReplyDeleteYou are right Granny Jan. Could she have any more botox and fillers pumped into her face. She looks so plasticy; I'm surprised she can even smile!
ReplyDeleteWe should do a before and after comparison. I remember when she first came on the scene she had quite a few horizonital lines on her forehead, for instance.
Motus,
ReplyDeleteChipmunks are so cute.
Geithner looks like a RAT.
You've gone to lunch with Big Guy before, haven't you.
ReplyDeleteI just need to tweek the adjustment of my phase aligners.
ReplyDeleteOMG, you are soooo right. I even have a pet chipmunk, Nikki, who takes peanuts (raw unsalted) out of my hand. She's one of Little Mo's buddies.
ReplyDeleteI appologize to the chipmunks of the world.
You guys have got some really great platform items!
ReplyDeleteOops, I may have said too much.
Ok then, Pwitter, I'll put you down as an "undecided" moderate in the next presidential election. Thanks for sharing.
ReplyDeleteThat's the clearest image of the white nose stripe yet! HaHaHa.
ReplyDeleteMOTUS! Evidently Larry Summers heard the message and... he's gone, gone, gone. Next Turbo Tax Timmy.
ReplyDeleteAt the same time that Russia and Cuba are realizing that their system doesn't (and never did) work and are embracing Capitalism; the US (under BO and his team) are headed towards Communism via Marxism. Talk about going in the wrong direction.
ReplyDeleteI also heard that some of the Tea Party groups have established a website for people to submit their own (it is a grassroots movement, after all) specific ideas that would then be forwarded to our 'president'. I think BO was just doing his spin or mindlessly mocking the TPM. Doesn't he realize that though the movement rose out of frustration that no one in government was listening, it also has some very distinct core values like fiscal responsiblitiy and smaller Federal government and more local/individual freedom. He is going to be flooded with mail/email. Well, he asked for it!
ReplyDelete