Sunday, November 14, 2010

Shadow Currencies, Shadow Governments and Now, Shadow People

G-20 Leaders ask: “Who is that annoying little black man? And why won’t he go away?”

Well, Big Guy is winging his way back home – thankfully in the capable hands of the US Air Force, who know how to “wing it.” Unlike BO, who might have finally discovered the limits of his own ability to wing it.

The G-20 was actually dismissive of his demands, perhaps even derisive. Ditto South Korea. Ditto Russia.

say lemons All alone and feelin’ blue

Butt I get ahead of myself. Let’s have a quick recap of the results of the O’s Great Asian Tour:

In summary, it looks like our Seoul Train went off the rails: 10 days, four countries, zero trade agreements,  zero agreement on trade imbalance, zero commitment from China to re-value the yuan, zero support from other G-20 leaders, zero nuclear agreements…

Butt the photo ops: PRICELESS!

Well, not quite priceless. $2 billion if you believe the right-wing hater blogs,  $1.2 billion if you go with more conservative estimates.

First there was India:

shopping Shopping the Indian crafts market for cheap gifts (HT Doug Ross & Dan Friedman)

Here, Lady M did her best to boost the Indian economy through a mini-stimulus program. Even though she ran out of money, she kept deficit shopping anyway!  The haters will probably say this is a metaphor for Big Guy’s administration, but MO was just trying to pick up cheap Winter Holiday gifts. So don’t tell me we don’t know how to be frugal. Yet another sacrifice for our country.

Big Guy was more interested in the cultural riches of India, as he’s always been a huge fan of Gandhiji. We brushed up on our sitar skills,bo shankar copy

and practiced our dance steps in case we need to revive our career with a gig on “Dancing With the Czars” later on.

bo-vepati-2-hat copy Because Lady M is such a good dancer, and makes him look good on the dance floor, he’ll probably choose her as her partner. Also because he’s dead meat if he ever selects any other female partner.

MO Dancer-1 copy 

Then we were on to Indonesia:

Here we saw the many faces of MO,

a new trick article-1328351-0BFE746A000005DC-452_306x459 sour pickles

as well as a rare display of public disdain for the MOOslims. As a rule, MO doesn’t  care how they treat their women folk, but let’s be clear: those rules do NOT apply to her.

INDONESIA-OBAMA/ Lady M flippin’ the ladybird to you-know-who HT Cripes Suzette

I hope I haven’t offended anyone, but it’s a cultural thing. Rap, Hip Hop. You know, poetry of the oppressed.

20031028_michael_jackson-tm article-1276958-0984C315000005DC-740_468x678 eminem-crotch-grab

MJ, Rihanna and Eminem practice their “art”

Then came South Korea, where the meaning of “dismissive, even derisive” came home to roost.

am I packin'; of course I'm pakin' quick draw

Hey guys! I’m just warning you. I’m packin’ - I can get George Soros on my Blackberry in a flash. If he’s takin’ my calls.

 lee myung-bak2

 Look here, Lee. Her rear end is NOT that big, you’re just inflatin’  ASSets again.

Butt we put our best face forward since that’s all that we have left.

happy days g 20 working dinnerI'm happy

Thank goodness for iPods. BO could relax awhile and listen to his 2008 Berlin Speech and take full advantage of the deus ex machina voice reverberation system.

what's on your iPod

Then on to Japan: who could have imagined just 2 short years ago that we would have to remind them who we were?

SS checking the seal ahead of keynote- role of US in Asia PacificSecret Service member adheres the American Presidential Seal to the podium ahead of Big Guy’s APEC speech on the ' Role of US in Asia Pacific'. Crazy glue was not optional.


Seriously, by the time we got to Japan, we were just a shadow of our former self.


My Shadow

by Robert Louis Stevenson

I have a little shadow that goes in and out with me,

And what can be the use of him is more than I can see.

He is very, very like me from the heels up to the head;

And I see him jump before me, when I jump into my bed.


The funniest thing about him is the way he likes to grow—

Not at all like proper children, which is always very slow;

For he sometimes shoots up taller like an india-rubber ball,

And he sometimes gets so little that there's none of him at all.


He hasn't got a notion of how children ought to play,

And can only make a fool of me in every sort of way.

He stays so close beside me, he's a coward you can see;

I'd think shame to stick to nursie as that shadow sticks to me!


One morning, very early, before the sun was up,

I rose and found the shining dew on every buttercup;

But my lazy little shadow, like an errant sleepy-head,

Had stayed at home behind me and was fast asleep in bed.

And that can’t be a good thing.

big guy introduces his shadow who will be addressing APEC

BO introduces his shadow at APEC, who will be reading a speech with TOTUS

more shadows Damn! Stop bugging me. Go Away!

me and my shadow

Does this Shadow make my ears look big?

I am sooo not looking forward to Thanksgiving dinner this year.