Saturday, April 30, 2011

Michelle Obama: Royal Wedding Crasher?


mo in carriageHats make you feel regal. And pretty! Who knew?

I know you think you saw Lady M at Cape Canaveral yesterday, butt as they say, it was all smoke and mirrors. If you want a better explanation than that you’ll have to speak with Hub, because I’ve never completely understood how that whole space/time thing works.

My mission today is simply to report on the topic: How To Crash a Royal Wedding.This is something Lady M has dreamed of ever since she was very young girl growing up poor on Chicago’s South side. And wouldn’t you know it? The Queen gave her the perfect excuse and opportunity to execute her plan. (Believe me, it was the Queen behind blackballing the Wons. Apparently she holds a grudge just like some other royals I know.)

So if you believe the Shuttle launch was postponed due to a “heater” problem, you probably also believe that was a photocopy of Big Guy’s original birth certificate.

On background, I’m sure you all remember the Wons’ first official State Dinner for Indian Prime Minister Singh :

091123-obamaDinner-vmed-660p_grid-4x2Practicing our royal act

It re-introduced the world to the ancient art of gate crashing.

obama-state-dinner-gatecrashersThe uninvited guests: social climbing charlatans

Lady M picked up a lot of insider information on how to be a stealth guest from the Salahis. So you didn’t suppose that a little thing like misplacing our invitation would prevent Lady M from attending the social affair of the century did you?

the bride

Lady M learned a thing or two from that embarrassing little security breach at our own royal l’affaire de la state.

So we packed a rather large satchel, hopped on Air Force Won Two (disguised as a commercial carrier for our stealth mission) and arrived just in time to change clothes and enjoy the festivities on the royal wedding day.

For our incognito arrival , we donned a regal looking ensemble, patterned after one of Princess Anne’s, and wore our Lanvin shades so as not to draw attention to our self.

princess mo


Kate Middleton Newly Married Royals Leave F6e6XphHpKll

Princess Anne arrives for her nephew’s wedding

We were a little apprehensive about the actual wedding venue, butt when we got to the church, Lady M just slipped in inconspicuously along with the ring bearers and flower girls as they trailed behind Kate’s lovely sister who was on train detail:

the sister

mo entering abbySlipping in from behind, while all eyes were on the lovely bride: Brilliant!

Lady M learned from the Salahis that once you’ve actually slipped past the gatekeepers, you’re more or less free to move about:

with-Joe-BidenThe Salahis, mugging with Joey B

Butt the key is to act as if you belong: no staring at the royals and make only light chit chat about Britain not being Britain any more, butt indeed, they do still know how to throw a jolly good wedding! And above all, keep circulating so as never to remain in one place long enough for anyone to notice. Just to be safe, we also did a couple additional wardrobe changes.

mo-i doHi Mom!

64507208Wow! Look at that rock!

We slipped out right after the ceremony and managed to get to the front of the cab line (queue, as they say in London):

mo in carriageHere we are sharing a cab with Prince Charles and Lady Camilla

When we arrived at the palace, we slipped into something a bit brighter in order to wish the newly weds the best as they shared their first wedded kiss. And while this quaint tradition may be the original photo-op, they actually looked like they rather enjoyed it!

mo on balcomy

Don’t worry about the cost of our royal wedding-crasher wardrobe. I know we’re deeply in debt, butt many of yesterday’s outfits were recycled. Like this little buttercup number we wore to witness the first kiss: recognize it? It’s from one of our earlier European trips (The one that ended with Rio buying the rights to our Chicago Olympic Games right from under our noses. They did make up for it though, by arranging that very nice South American Wine Tour.)

Unfortunately we didn’t have time to stay for the disco party, butt having flown across the pond, we weren’t about to go home without a piece of that wedding cake. For this occasion we donned our royal icing gown from our triumphant night in Oslo where Lady M and Big Guy were crowned as official European royalty (and hence by all rights should have received an official invitation to the royal wedding).

mo cake-2I think this wedding cake makes my butt look small!

I know you’re dying to know how Lady M actually slipped in past all the royal wedding security and scrutiny. I can tell you this much: she had an invitation. No, not from the Queen, silly! From the Big White Official Office of Documents and Photo Evidence; the same department that provided Big Guy’s birth certificate. And as you can see with your own lyin’ eyes, it worked like a charm.


Concept compliments to Mrs. P.

Linked By: The Radio Patriot and JammieWearingFool and Sadhill News and iOwnTheWorld and SondraK and Larwyn’s Linx on DougRoss@Journal and Tammy Bruce and Curmudgeonly & Skeptical Thank You Sooooo Much!