This is what passes for news in the main stream media these days? “Why so glum, Michelle?” “Why so glum?” You have to ask? Where exactly have you been for the past 2 1/2 years.
Let’s start from the present and work our way backwards: did Lady M not just cut her Martha’s Vineyard vacation short by nearly a whole day?
In order for her husband, the President, to get back in time to save America from Hurricane Irene. Sheesh! You people!
After 3 years of her life spent sacrificin’ for the American people - first to ensure that they get the kind of leader they deserved -
and then as FLOTUS, this is the thanks she gets? An investigation into her educational and diplomatic trip to Botswana?
Let’s review the international travel Lady M has had to endure as First Lady so far, and you tell me if Americans aren’t just a bunch of ingrates. At least the Tea Party racists who I’m sure are behind the entire investigation.
April 2009 Britain, Strasbourg France, Czech Republic, Turkey,
We had to rub elbows (literally) with old white royals and skinny white b****s while simultaneously demonstrating our iconic fashion style.
June, 2009: France, Russia, Italy, Ghana
Now it’s Russian bleached blondes and old white German pontiffs.
Before squeezing in a few hours in Ghana so the Africans wouldn’t feel as though we don’t really give a damn about them now that we’ve been elected.
October, 2009 Copenhagen, Denmark:
Boy, talk about ingrates. We go all the way to Copenhagen to tell our sad story about Dad, and they still give the Olympics to Rio. We even brought Oprah with us. What do these people want? Oh. Pay to play. Someone should have briefed us.
December, 2010 Oslo, Norway
Is it our fault that they awarded Big Guy a Nobel Prize for Readership?
April, 2010 Mexico
Again, diplomacy, education, fat butts. Let’s move!
June, 2010 Canada
Do they have anything other than blondes in Canada? Ok smile!
August, 2010 Spain
It was all about bonding with the Wee Won – now where did Sasha go? And as usual, diplomacy, whatever that means.
I guess it involves enduring skinny princesses: what a pain.
November, 2010 India, Indonesia
Diplomacy, education, watch me move!
I know I don’t have to explain this again:
If you can’t empathize with Lady M’s sacrificin’ here, you’re just not human, or you’re an R-word hater.
March, 2011 Brazil, Chile, El Salvador
Our diplomatic wine tour, designed to boost the oil and gas economy of…Brazil.
Getting in our cups, for the sake of international harmony.
May, 2011 Ireland, England
Acting as if we didn’t mind not getting invited to the wedding, butt crashing it anyway:
June, 2011 South Africa, Botswana
“I’ve come to bolster the self esteem of girls in Africa: Look at me! I should be inspirational. Education is important. Now let’s move!”
And we went to honor real black heroes: have you got me in the frame?
OK, that’s better:
And need I mention, these were only the international trips that we endured to promote diplomacy, education and healthy eating. Don’t even get me started on the list of domestic duty trips we’ve endured in the name of sacrificing for the American people.