A COR-o-nation in the PORN-o-nation

Tough choice today: should I cover the pre-inaugural Festival in D.C.  or the Sundance Festival in P.C.? In a sense they’re both about the same thing.

As you may have heard, Newsweek (now exclusively on line!) has deemed the WON’s term number two “The Second Coming.” And (coincidentally) today’s emerging theme from Sundance that I was going to discuss is…pornography!

Seriously. With the official premiere screenings this weekend of Don Jon’s Addiction (hint: it’s porn), Lovelace (hint: yes, that Lovelace) and Kink (hint: it’s a San Fran porn studio) Sundance has officially embraced the dark side of the dark side.

Don’t you just love it when life imitates art?

Or is it the other way around? I always get that confused.

‘Dancing with the Stars

Day two, and “the festival of individual story telling” continues in Park City at the Sundance Film Festival.

Every year Robert Redford gets older, the traffic grows heavier and the “films” grow…well, the films grow. 119 to choose from this year. I should be able to find something I like.

Every year there are several motifs that emerge from the dozens of films selected for the festival. They reflect subjects in the current year that the Sundance selection committee feels need more cultural exposure. In addition to the perennial faves of drugs, sex and rock and roll, themes from previous years that have been selected to entertain us have been as wide ranging as suicide, transgendered relationships, dysfunctional families, dysfunctional gay families and the dangers of right wing extremists. Now that I’ve had a chance to study this year’s catalog of films I can report on some of the major trends for 2013.

This year’s Sundance logo. I see the design team’s gone minimalist. Watch for this emerging trend; it occurs regularly as recessions drag into decades.

Wow! Is that a stunning anti-Mad Man logo or what? And it fits perfectly with theme number 1 this year: anti-capitalism. (There are other themes too, butt I’ll cover them later.) Offered up in this category: “The East,”

Bang the Dumb Slowly

Is this any way to start your day?

“So, like, O.K., first things first: they obviously look great. Michelle Obama is a tremendously pretty person whose hair is one of her top-10 best physical attributes. It’s shiny and healthy and thick, so upping its prominence on her face is an excellent idea. The bangs are also short enough that they don’t obscure her face—the way mothers are always saying their daughters’ bangs do—which is a relief, since her lovely face also ranks amongst her top-10 best physical attributes.”                                     Vanity Fair Daily via h/t ZombieDachshund

Oh dear, I could kick myself for not warning you about this new, uh, “haircut.” In my defense allow me to say 1) I thought we agreed not to wear unveil this new 'do until the Inaugural, and 2) I surely didn’t think it would be such a big deal since we’ve worn Asian sporty bangs before; it’s not like it’s historical or anything.

Put down your gun or I’m calling the zoning board!

Disgusting. First Lance, now Manti Te’o. Does everyone have lie to us now days?

Touchdown Jesus scores one for the gypper

Yes, apparently so.  In addition to Lance lying about not doping it seems that Manti hoaxed us about his dead girlfriend. Apparently she never actually existed; she was a composite. Seriously, who would do that?

Oh Yeah, We’re Packin’

It’s always for the children isn’t it? I’ll get to that in a New York minute.

First, this important announcement for all of you MODs, and the MOLs who love them. I’m just going to go out on a limb and announce this as the fashion trend we’ve been waiting for: Junk Jeans for men, “Because men aren’t flat, so why are their jeans?”

       

Just when you begin to think that America isn’t great anymore, along comes a great invention like this to quiet your inner skeptic: jeans with built in gussets to accommodate men’s, uh, anatomy. I forecast an immediate success for this obvious (although not always  flattering) invention. I even have a few suggestions for celebrity endorsements:

Packin’ MO than you know!

The Historic First, Last Press Conference of the First Term

If, after yesterday’s historic first, last press conference of the First Term, you still doubt that Big Guy is this generation’s “great communicator” you still don’t get it.

“I hear you. With my left ear.”

You must still be hung up on last century’s model of a “great communicator” – someone whose convictions were based on the solid values that made America great and who spoke his mind and convictions simply, directly and honestly.

You’re Golden

Like Clarice, I find myself feeling a little more alienated from mainstream “culture” with each passing year.

Take the self-adulation orgy of the Golden Globes for example. It’s an American production (NBC) of an American Movie/TV Awards show, yet the winners are chosen by…the Hollywood Foreign Press Association? Only in America.

Last night’s telecast of the awards was, well, Les Miserables. I missed Ricky Gervais. His irreverent, non-partisan assaults lobbed in all quarters made heads explode. I guess the studio bosses and their hired hands didn’t find that as entertaining as I did. So this year we got NBC’s dream team: Tina Fey and Amy Poehler:

Some people found them amusing, butt not me, so let’s get on with this year’s winners/losers in both the film and fashion categories.

In the “sure bets” category:

Julianne Moore, for Best Actress in a TV movie making Sarah Palin out to be a dangerous idiot and tool of the religious right.

Guns for Me Butt Not for Thee

Meet some more of All the President’s (white) Men:

Not to be confused with the rest of the President’s (all white) men. 

Unlike the wonks who are only dangerous because they’re all likeminded ideologues, our Secret Service detail is armed and dangerous.