Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Olympic Gold

We have arrived in Copenhagen to begin the heavy lifting required to win the Olympics for Chicago in 2016.  And not to distract from our main objective, but here’s a teachable moment:mi copen4 I realize it’s not protocol, but Mo is just going to have to find a way to let me de-plane first if she doesn’t want these big old butt shots blasted across the internet. Sheeze, especially if she’s going to wear psychedelic panda prints.

But back to business. We’re here, of course, to apply Chicago style influence to win the games for Lady M’s native city. She brought Valerie Jarrett to help because Rahmbo is busy back in Washington strangling small animals to send to senators who aren’t voting for Big Guy’s health care bill. After spending some time on the plane on the way over with these Ladies Who Eat Your Lunch, I’m going to say we don’t really need him. Wouldn’t need BO either, except his appearance was one of the Dane’s prerequisites in return for their vote. While MO is a natural at this game, having been raised in Chicago where quid pro quo was practically invented,vj  Val is no slouch on this circuit either. I’m sure she’s delivered more than one dead fish back in the day.

So we’ll be spending today meeting with just about every IOC delegate that can vote for us and showing them the old Chicago “hospitality” if you know what I mean. Because ACORN has been banned in Denmark, we’ll have to explain carefully that they are only allowed to vote once, so make it count.

Things are going well. We’ve only been here a few hours and we’ve already allocated enough “goody bags” to fund 2 or 3 military coups in third world countries that capitalism has abandoned. I’m feeling pretty confident. I might even go so far as to guarantee that we’ve got a lock on the Chicago bid. Unless that bitch from Brazil ,Marisa Leticia includes a small bag of emeralds with the goody bags they’re handing out.copen brazilAnd I wouldn’t put it past her. She’s our only real competition. I think you can tell by this picture of her husband’s (Luis Inacio Lula da Silva ) hand that she could easily be a member of the Ladies Who Eat Your Lunch club too.

I can’t wait to see former FOTUS Hillary Clinton again. We’ve come a long way baby.