Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Honey, Where’s That Carbon Credit Card?

Well, yes, I’m afraid it’s official. Algore and the Tipster are busting up their previously happy home of 40 years.

al and tip

It doesn’t seem right, after what they’ve been through together: providing the inspiration and template for Erich Segal’s best seller and huge hit  movie, “Love Story,” inventing the InterWeb, inventing Global Warming.


The Tip, back when she looked like Melanie Griffith, before the surgery (Melanie’s not Tipper’s). And cute little Algore. He had issues with his carbon foot prints even back then.



johnsonMelanie, age 15

Geeze, if it can happen to little over-achievers like them, it can probably happen to anyone. Don’t you think?

Anyway, I will always remember them as they were back in the good old days of the Clinton Administration. Boy, those were halcyon days. Back then the only environmental spill we had to worry about took place in the oval office. And even though we had the Bosnian War to deal with, at least we knew who the real enemy was and our soldiers were allowed to use real bullets.

But don’t let me get nostalgic, it always clouds up my peripheral monitors and something bad slips right by me. Like this:

610xOh dear, baby doll pajamas. In the morning. With pearls. 

But I digress. Back to the previously happiest couple in America (a title now officially held by Big Guy and Lady M).

weddingWhen we were very young, and bad things – like hanging chads – hadn’t happened to us yet.

I’m just wondering if Algore really thought this breakup thing through. I mean, now that they’re both going to have to maintain their own separate gazillion dollar mansions and private jets, isn’t that going to, like, double the collective ex-team-Gore carbon footprint? How is that going to be good for the planet? How is this man ever going to sleep at night again?

I see a ton of carbon credits in this amicable divorce settlement.