This has been a horrible month. E-Ricky hauled up by his own petards to testify before Congress, the sunset on our Solyndra solar deal, no vacays since Martha’s and none in the foreseeable future. Our poll numbers are still slogging around in the bottom of the toxic waste dumpster. The only thing that seems to pull Big Guy out of his funk these days is whacking somebody – anybody - with his life-size hellfire drone kill set that George W gave him as an inaugural gift.
Butt now, Simon & Shuster puts the icing on our crap-cake quarter by releasing Mondo Frazier’s blockbuster exposé, “The Secret Life of Barack Hussein Obama.” All I can say is I’d hate to be some schmuck cruising the Afghan border in his RV these next few weeks.
My ol’ buddy Mondo is founder/editor/writer at Death By a Thousand Papercuts, a truly top shelf blog where you can find articles by the greatest authors on the intertubes including, well, moi! Mondo also writes for Andy Breitbart at Big Journalism. Butt I think he may have gone a wee bit too far this time, because his book already has everybody here in the Big White all wee-weed up.
Lets review a few of the secrets that Mondo reveals:
Did you know that Big Guy was once a spy? For her Majesty’s Secret Service? Ok, I spilled some of the beans about B07 a while back, butt you were supposed to think that I was just messing with you. Now Mondo blows the whole gig wide open.
Mondo has the real story. You didn’t hear about it because you don’t live in Italy, don’t speak Italian, and the MSM doesn’t report anything that’s not complimentary, especially if it’s not in English. Butt here’s how it went down:
In 2005, then-Senator Barack Obama went on a mission to Russia with Senator Richard Lugar (R-IN). The newly-minted U.S. senator was invited to be part of a Russian fact-finding tour that inspected a nuclear weapons site in Perm, Siberia. The base Lugar and Obama visited was where mobile launch missiles were being destroyed under the Cooperative Threat Reduction program (CTR), which also went by the name of the Nunn-Lugar program.
What happened next -- after the inspections were over -- was at the time reported by several foreign news sources but was never reported in the USA by the CMM. The Russians detained Obama and Lugar for three hours at the airport, demanding to examine both Obama's and Lugar's passports and search their plane. Some sources reported that the Russians accused Barack Obama of being a spy.
But wait -- there's more!
According to an Italian source, the Russians did not accuse Obama of being an American spy; they accused him of being a spy for the British! The report went on to say that the incident ended up involving the White House, the U.S. State Department, and military officials, along with their counterparts in Moscow.
Strangely enough, an official report from Lugar's office about the trip never mentioned the incident. Neither did Barack Obama in 2008 when he was desperate to exhibit some foreign policy chops.
And, interestingly, neither did the still R-word occupied White House think to mention it. I think future Owies will be studying the 2008 election in their History of Socialist America for the next 200 years.
Then Mondo shines some light on how Big Guy managed to pull off that 1981 Paki-vacay, back when he claimed to be penniless. Did anyone really think we needed to fact check the “Dreams from My Father” version of this story? I mean, besides Mondo? What he found is going to require me to reformat and update my hard drive.
Shall we just just say it should not come as any big surprise that Big Guy can maneuver his hellfire drones around the area as well as he can without the aid of a GPS.
Anyway, I hate people who tell you how the movie ends, so I’m not revealing any more of Mondo’s “Obama secrets.” Although if you want to know more, and I know you do, you can read a longer excerpt on American Thinker and you can even get your very own copy for about 16 bucks at Amazon. Just be sure to specify “The Secret Life of BARACK HUSSEIN OBAMA” because otherwise you’re likely to end up with one of the other many books in the “Secret Life of Obama” series:
The Secret Life of Words – no wait; this one belongs in the “Secret Life of Bill Ayers” series.
As long as you’re going to be over on Amazon anyway though, you might want to pick up one of these great toys for the kids or grandkids. They’re going to be the must-have toy this holiday season, so don’t procrastinate, they’re going fast.
Kids! Be the first on your block to have the Obama Drone Kill Kit! Tell Mom and Dad you want one for
Christmas Winter Holiday! Available for a limited time only from General “We bring good things to life” Electric. Or…um, sometimes… death.
As long as you’re using your imagination. h/t Doug Ross
Oh goodness! I almost forgot about the big festivities last night. To everyone’s surprise, global warming blew in a few snowflakes for the big Halloween party! Al Gore was not available for comment, which is a good thing because an angry mob of OWS (occupy warm spaces) showed up to protest.
Butt the party went on as planned, just with a few more layers of clothing, which is never a bad thing when we’re talking about Lady M.
Oh well, at least the goody bags this year were heavy on the sweets and light on the organic fruit:
Yes, I know it’s not until Monday, butt we march to the beat of our own drum major around here, so get with the program.