Alinsky Works For Us Now
With so many self-submissions arriving daily on the “We are the 99%” tumbler site of the People of Occupy Wall Street, it’s hard to choose just one winner from so many losers. Butt someone has to do it. So this week I’ve expanded the categories of winning whiners. Let’s get right to the winners:
“I WANT TO BE SELF-SUFFICIENT WITHOUT HAVING TO DO ANYTHING FOR MYSELF”
In order to understand what makes this loser the winner you have to read the addendum, unabridged, in order to capture the full whine.
The “3 years” part meaning that once I’m 26 years old, I’ll have no health care unless I can find a job that offers it to me for a good price. For how little I work at my current job, the health care they offer is too expensive for me.
I wish I was self-sufficient. I wish I was taught how to sew, how to cook better, healthier meals, I wish I knew how to construct. I’d love to build my own small house so I never have to worry about bills. I wish I could grow my own food - or at least have my own small garden to tend to, but I don’t even know how to do that.
I feel useless here, useless that I can’t go to school, can hardly afford to live here with my mom, I can’t help my brother who is already doing as much as he can…I can’t even get my photography thing going because no one wants to pay me for the work I do for them.
What hope is there for me if university prices rise? I want to learn! I want to succeed.
I am the 99%.
My whole family is the 99%
I barely know where to begin here, so maybe instead of being “mean spirited” like I was accused of the last time I tried to help, I’ll try the “compassionate capitalist” approach. I genuinely hope this is helpful:
Dude, if no one wants to pay you for the photography, it’s probably crappy. That’s how capitalism works. Try learning something about lighting, composition…well, here, read this.
You want to learn how to sew, cook, garden, build (take decent photographs)? Have you ever heard of the internet? It has all sorts of helpful information and instruction - for free! If you have time (and apparently you do) you can be self-sufficient and learn how to plant a garden, cook, build a house, or even a bomb. Google is your friend. Embrace it.
If you’re such a loser that you don’t have a computer and Mommy won’t buy you one, you can use one at your public library – for free! (Don’t forget to take your hand sanitizer). They also have books there that provide self-instruction on all of the same topics (with the possible exception of the bomb building). Since I see that you have all but 11-18 hours a week free to do something other than “feel useless” you might want to give it a try. Because you only have to be a pathetic loser if you choose to.
So what do you say? Give Mom a break. She’s already taking care of Grandma and your irresponsible, useless brother. If she’s going to continue to be the only one in the household bringing home the bacon, the least you can to is learn how to cook it.
PARASITIC LOSER OF THE WEEK: FOREIGN ENTRY
Wow! no free paper! That is hard luck. In case you aren’t familiar with Germany’s HARTZ- IV (essentially combined welfare/unemployment benefits for long-term deadbeats such as the one above), here’s an interesting forum where they discuss the benefits, and nuances of being a taker.
I LOVE MY WORK AS A SEX WORKER, WHICH I CHOSE, BUTT MISS BEING IN A COUNTRY WHERE IT WAS LEGAL AND I HAD POLICE PROTECTION. OH, AND MY COLLEGE EDUCATION MAKES ME OVER-QUALIFIED.
She’s overqualified to be a sex worker? Really? I didn’t even know they were
selling offering baccalaureate degrees in “sex working” let alone advanced degrees. And I’m not even sure that would over-qualify you now days.
I’M NOT A TAXPAYER, AND DAMN PROUD OF IT!
You don’t have to brag about it; I can tell just by looking at you that you don’t pay taxes. And anyone can see how deeply you care about others – as long as they continue to be the 53% who provide for whatever change you have in your pocket. Ignorant, greedy, inconsiderate bastards; can’t they see that you need more?
BTW, your math doesn’t add up.
We also have winners in several new categories this week: COWS (Cars Occupying Wall Street), DOWS (Dishwashers Occupying Wall Street) and ROWS (Refrigerators Occupying Wall Street)
This weeks coveted COW award goes to this 41 year old Plymouth Barracuda, who comes to us all the way from Occupy Detroit:
This week’s DOWS winner, hands down, is this under-employed Maytag from Occupy Amana Iowa:
And in the ROWS submittals this week, this hard working model is an absolute category buster:
I’d like to “occupy” that ‘Cuda!
ED. NOTE FOR NEWCOMERS TO THE SITE: “butts” are but a conceit around here. You’ve been warned.