Bi-the way, did you hear what Lady M didn’t say yesterday?

Lady M was so rattled by a LGBT heckler at the DNC fundraiser she was addressing yesterday

that her big brain temporarily shut down, and an uncharacteristic flash of anger leapt out:

The pool reported that Obama left the lectern toward the protestor saying that they could “listen to me or you can take the mic, but I’m leaving. You all decide. You have one choice.”

In a response that presented an alternative somewhere between a conundrum and a false dilemma, Lady M created her own new logic fallacy: the “Vamoose Conundrum.” It’s “telling people they have a choice between two options, immediately followed by a declaration that negates the first one.”

Now, I don’t know about you, butt where I went to school, that kind of magical thinking would only qualify you for government work.

Butt since Lady M was fortunate enough to go to not one, butt two Ivy League schools she had lots more choices: should she stay at the white shoe law firm in her home town, or quit that non-challenging, well-paying job that she “worked so hard to get,” let her law license expire and go to work for the Daley Machine - where the real money power career opportunities were?

 

Butt back to the flawed-logic incident (that never officially happened - according to the Big White transcript of the DNC fundraiser event (h/t creeper). Just for the sake of discussion let’s say it did happen – not that I’m going to contradict “official” records that state that it did NOT happen, Press Pool transcripts to the contrary – I’m just establishing a hypothetical here for the sake of argument. So if it DID happen, you can see how it could have happened to anyone…had it in fact happened. And I’m not saying that it did. Okay?

Anyway, whose big brain wouldn’t have shut down under the assault of friendly fire?

Well, besides St. Hillary?

Had this been the kind of heckler that Lady M expects from the far rightwing attack machine, say a Tea Party member demanding an executive order to stop the harassment of conservatives by the IRS (not that that ever happened, butt it could have), she would have been able to claw their eyes out respond with impeccable logic:

“Sit down and shut up!”

Butt no, this attack came from out of left field; one of our own, a member of the LGBT coalition. One of our favored nations of the many flavored special interest groups.

Who Big Guy has done so very, very much for already -

bringing them out of the shadows and all.

Ingrates. They always want more, no matter what you do for them.

Oh well, Lady M got things back on track quickly after the heavily armed Secret Service gendarmes ushered the activist, Ellen Sturtz, who was no lady, out of the event. As soon as MO turned the crowd’s attention back to the bedrock issue of making it all about “the children” we were once again back in the dialing for dollars business of politics as usual.

I know you’re interested in what MO was wearing, butt as you are well aware, Big Guy’s regime has a strict embargo on photos at fundraising events: we certainly wouldn’t want any of our contributors to be targeted by the hate groups. But here’s the “dark blue frock with black belt” that we were sporting yesterday, seen here at a previous event:

Now I have to run. Today I have to start screening all the books people have sent in for Lady M to take with her on her long Martha’s Vineyard vacay – because you can’t just eat, drink and relax all the time!

This one sounds interesting, butt given yesterday’s little anger management issue I think I better scan the entire book before turning it over. We don’t want to have any of those unfortunate “broken china” charges show up on our summer rental bill again this year. I don’t think the IRS will approve them as a legitimate business expense.

Note: Richard Sander is a former community organizer. Stuart Taylor, Jr. is one of our lefty journalists - and since he too graduated from Princeton and Harvard he must know what he’s talking about.

Linked By: Larwyn’s Linx on Doug Ross@Journal, and Adrienne’s Corner, and BlogsLucianneLoves, and Free Republic, Thanks!

Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network

Exclusive Premiere: “Amateur: the Musical”

Before I get into today’s musical interlude, here are a few more details that have leaked out regarding the deal between Lucifer and Beelzebub Bubba and BO. They met at Andrews Air Force Base to hammer out the terms.

“Let me show you how to drive this thing, son.”

Bubba agreed to give a gang-banger speech at the Democratic Convention and campaign for Big Guy, telling everyone who wasn’t already going to vote for BO that he was the best thing since sliced white bread - or at least since the Coming of Clinton.

In return, Bubba would get to name the next chairman of the DNC, and the lovely Hill would receive the full faith and credit of the U.S. President in her 2016 run.

How’s that working out so far?

 

“Look you two little twits, I invented the Big White Lie Machine”

Well, Big Guy Won, Debbie is still DNC chair, and Big Guy refused to take Bubba’s calls following the election. That is, until Ax-man reminded him what happened to previous “Friends of Bill” who went rogue.

Adjustments were quickly made; Hill’s retirement dinner was hastily scheduled at the Big White (Lady M was unavailable on such short notice), the TV endorsement booked; and then Big Guy Moved On.Org. Deal. Done. Or so he thought. Amateur.

Unfortunately, somebody leaked details of this Faustian deal to Ed Klein; in a brown envelope with no return address and no fingerprints.

• Molsterman #1 “Win Won Four the Gaffer

• Molsterman #2  “Checkmate”

• Molsterman#3 “Hints and Allegations”

• Molsterman#4 “The ‘Nose’ Knows”

So, there you have it, on deep background, all the information you need in order to enjoy my latest production of “Amateur: the Musical.”  Let’s have a little traveling music, please (click on player):

 

“Nobody Does It Better”: Carly Simon

 

Nobody does it better

Makes me feel sad for the rest

Nobody does it half as good as you

 

 

Baby, you're the best

 

I wasn't lookin', but somehow you found me

 

I tried to hide from your love light

But like heaven above me, the spy who loved me
Is keeping all my secrets safe tonight

 

And nobody does it better

 

Though sometimes I wish someone could

Nobody does it quite the way you do

Why'd you have to be so good?

The way that you hold me whenever you hold me

 

There's some kind of magic inside you

That keeps me from runnin', but just keep it comin'

 

 
How'd you learn to do the things you do?

And nobody does it better

 

 

Makes me feel sad for the rest

 

 

Nobody does it half as good as you

 

Baby, baby
Darling, you're the best

 
Baby, you're the best

Baby, you're the best

 

Pimping Out  America since 1992 

“Amateur!”

Linked By: BlogsLucianneLoves, and Free Republic, Thanks!

Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network

Bubba To BO: “WTF? Did you read your contract?”

As I originally pointed out last summer in “It’s Halftime in America:”

“It’s not so much you didn’t live up to your potential.”

“It’s that you exceeded it.”

Yes, Ed Klein is back, making more trouble. The paperback version of his book, dismissively titled “The Amateur” - which was derived from an obviously made-up, derisive, quote contained therein:

“Obama doesn't know how to be president. He doesn't know how the world works. He's incompetent. He's...he's...Barack Obama's an amateur.” - Bill Clinton

The paperback version is updated to detail the deal cut between Big Guy and Bubba to keep the reins of power in the grasp of this most unholy alliance for years to come.

Here’s how the deal between the Devil and Beelzebub was supposed to work: Bubba would pump up BO’s limp campaign with his professional lying Mojo. In return, BO would throw his support enthusiastically behind his soon-to-be ex-Secretary.

Bubba delivered his part, in spades (can I say that?):

Only to find out that Big Guy planned to renege (can I say that?) on his end of the deal.

“Don’t let the door hit you on the way out, doll-face.”

Wow! Big Guy really is an Amateur if he thought he could get away with that! Discussions were held behind the scenes to clarify the terms of the contract, and shortly thereafter BO was back lovin’ on Hillary:

BO, layin’ some lovin’ on Hills on 60 Minutes

Be sure to tune in tomorrow for “Amateur: the Musical.”

Linked By: Larwyn’s Linx on Doug Ross@Journal, and BlogsLucianneLoves, and Free Republic, Thanks!

Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network

The White House’s Genetically Modified Organism?

Oh dear! Another scandal! And this time it involves Lady M. And possibly her hunky Executive Director, Sam Kass.

It seems that there is an unconfirmed story floating around that Lady M’s heralded “bread wheat” crop is in fact - gird yourself, this one’s a shocker…engineered wheat food product!!!!

Could this possibly be true!? And if so, who’s responsible?

OMG! Are those GMO seeds!??

I don’t know, butt allow me to provide a little information on deep background, after which I’d be happy to take a few questions. 

First of all, GMO (genetically modified organisms) wheat seeds, hereafter referred to as GM wheat, is not even supposed to exist! Apparently it has been engineered, experimentally, by Monsanto (Evil Big Food company) – butt it’s not legally allowed to exist because…it hasn’t been approved by the Food and Drug Administration yet – and as we all know, if the Federal Government hasn’t approved it, it does not exist.

The phantom GM wheat crop in Oregon 

So, how did this phantom wheat seed end up growing in that Oregon farmer’s field, let alone Lady M’s Organic Garden of Good and Evil (OGOGE)? We suspect sabotage.

Since we may, or may not, have some of this bad seed growing in the OGOGE it’s important to note that at this point we are deeply conflicted (as Monsanto was a big campaign contributor) about the use of GM wheat seed; and remain deeply shocked and appropriately concerned by the discovery that the wheat crop planted here could possibly contain evil seeds.

Now remember, this investigation is still ongoing, so I can’t tell you just yet who the fall guy will be.

All I can tell you is that Lady M knew nothing about it. Now let’s move on to my press briefing. And remember, this is all totally off the record.

MOTUS Press Briefing

James S. Brady Press Briefing Room

MOTUS: Hello, everyone. Welcome to the White House. Thanks for being here. Before I take your questions I just wanted to just say a couple of things. As you may have heard, Lady M will be hosting her annual Kid’s State Dinner next month for the 56 winners of last week’s Healthy Lunchtime Challenge contest. It will be very exciting. And will contain no GM food products. Now I'll go to your questions. Julie.

Q: We understand that there may be GM wheat planted in Lady M’s organic garden of good and evil. Is that true?

MOTUS: There appears to be the possibility that GM wheat may have been found in the garden. Butt at this point, we are awaiting confirmation from the FDA that the wheat is actually GM.

Q: When did the Big White discover that GM wheat was planted in the garden?

MOTUS: I appreciate the question. We learned about this at the same time you did, from the Fox News report this morning. Butt let me caution, at this point we do not know with certainty whether the wheat is GM. Nor do we know whether it was planted intentionally, or is simply the result of a few over zealous  “volunteers” who inadvertently transported the seeds into the garden via the bird, raccoon or other wild animal droppings which are a substantial part of the garden’s organic fertilizers.

Q: Legal experts say that it would be illegal for the First Lady to plant GM wheat in her internationally acclaimed organic garden of good and evil on two counts:

1. a garden can not be classified as “organic” if it contains GM plantings, and
2. GM wheat has not been approved by the FDA.

MOTUS: Let me just say that the law is irrelevant here. Next question.

Q: Who actually planted the GM wheat?

MOTUS: Look, I appreciate that question, butt I think I’ve already addressed your concern. As I said we do not yet know exactly who planted the GM wheat, whether in fact it even is GM wheat, and, as you know, the Department of the Interior has overall responsibility for plantings on federal land and they are currently conducting a thorough investigation. Our information to date indicates that if in fact it is GM, it was planted by a couple of bad apples acting on their own. 

And if it turns out to be GM wheat, we fully intend to take all steps necessary to address the situation.

Q: If I may follow-up, did anyone in the Big White authorize the planting of the GM wheat, and what was Chef Kass’ involvement?

MOTUS: Thank you for that question. As I said, Interior is conducting an investigation, and I would suggest directing that question to them. The Department of Interior is a completely non-political, independent agency of the federal government. No one in the Big White has or would interfere with any decision made by Interior.

The Head of Big Guy’s Department of Interior is a Real Jewel

Q: And Chef Kass?

MOTUS: Well, I said no one in the Big White, and I have no information to suggest that Chef Kass had any involvement with the wheat planting. Chuck.

Q: Has Lady M or anyone else in the Big White, used any of the harvest of GM wheat in bakery items, like bread or cupcakes?

MOTUS: I appreciate the question. You may remember that as part of Lady M’s important No Child’s Fat Behind initiative, the Big White kitchen is gluten free and no longer bakes bread or cupcakes. The booklets that are being distributed to you now, describe the principle elements of a healthy, gluten free , wheat free diet. Take a few minutes to look them over and I’d be happy to answer any questions you might have.

Q: How much of the garden’s acreage was planted in GM wheat?

MOTUS: You know, we could go down the plant list. … We could even say what about the president’s birth certificate? Was that planted here too? Butt would that be a legitimate question?”

 

Q: Are you saying that Big Guy is a transplant? Or that he’s genetically engineered in some way?

MOTUS: I'm not even sure what your question is. I get the sort of basic motivation behind it. I think we just disagree on our basic view of the meaning of the term “planted.” And “modified.”

END
2:12 P.M. EDT

 

The only confirmed Genetically Modified Organism planted around here.

Linked By: Larwyn’s Linx on Doug Ross@Journal, and iOwnTheWorld’s Cardigan, and John Bellamy, Robert Watkins, Betty Jean Walters on facebook, and BlogsLucianneLoves, and Free Republic, Thanks!

Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network