Carlos Danger Steers the Weiner Waggin’

Yeah, butt no. Apparently it’s till the same Little Tony.

Weinergate II: The Weiner Continues to Wag the Dog.

It doesn’t seem possible; has it already been 2 years since the last Weiner roast? My, how time flies when you are apparently having fun, fun, fun.

Summer 2011, we reported:

After adamantly claiming for days that he did not have sext with that woman, what’s her name, Anthony Weiner finally admitted that he did indeed sext his pecs... along with other miscellaneous anatomical assets to several women; both prior and subsequent to his marriage to Huma (who couldn’t make it to the press conference due to a previous engagement).

Some people were perplexed that Huma not only came to yesterday’s press conference where Big Tony had to acknowledge that Little Tony had been wagging again, butt smiled broadly and stood by her man. It’s easy people: she wants to be FLONYC (First Lady of New York City); and later, following in her mentor’s shoes, Secretary of State.

Again, from 2011:

Wiping back tears, Rep. Weiner said "This was me doing a dumb thing and doing it repeatedly and lying about it..."

And then the next summer doing another dumb thing and lying about it. And getting caught, thus violating the only remaining standard of behavior in politics; getting caught, not doing another dumb thing or lying. Some people just never learn. Well it’s not my fault, I’m the one who suggested Little Tony head to rehab after his last Huma-iliating affair.

Tip for Tony: use artificial tears

I guess he thought that a better use of his time in pursuit of establishing domestic bliss and future career options was hooking up with another hot political groupie for more sexting.

Things are looking worse by the hour.

So as summer languidly moves into those August days when everyone in Washington gets all wee weed up, we have another Weinergate to distract us from more serious affairs.

For example, how many people will be tuned in later today when Big Guy takes to the pulpit microphone to give a read on “how to fix the economy?” Despite buying pre-speech banner ads reading: “You're going to want to watch this speech”

This Wednesday, the President will kick off a series of speeches that will lay out his vision for rebuilding an economy that puts the middle class and those fighting to join it front and center.

In case you don’t have time to watch it because, well, because, here’s a synopsis from AP:

He’ll “talk about efforts to expand manufacturing, sign up the uninsured for health care coverage, revitalize the housing industry and broaden educational opportunities for preschoolers and college students.” He is also expected to claim American businesses are in desperate need of millions of new immigrant employees at a time when the unemployment rate is 7.6 percent, and rising, and 22 million Americans are underemployed.

Now it’s because we haven’t granted amnesty to 12 million previously illegal immigrants? Anyway, in case you’ve lost count of how many times we’ve lost focus on just exactly what was causing the problem, requiring us to re-pivot on our JOBS!JOBS!JOBS! platform - the answer is eight. Or to borrow a great phrase from Big Tony about Little Tony yesterday: “It’s in our rearview mirror, but it’s not far.”

So if Big Tony applies Big Guy’s JOBS!JOBS!JOBS! standard, the Weiner gets at least six more sext-capades free passes.

Maybe Huma should spend the time between all of the Tonys’ gigs getting a little more mentoring from Hillary on how to deal with future “Weiner fan eruptions.” Because smiling and appearing to give the jerk-off a pass isn’t flying too well in the blogosphere. Hillary can instruct her on the proper tactics of attacking the fans and charging a vast right wing conspiracy for trying to take out a true fighter for the working class.

Oh my! This is worse than a bimbo eruption. We’ll need an alternate plan for your career.

So apparently Big Tony’s narrative of having spent his time since resigning from Congress in disgrace rehabilitating himself and repairing his family relationships isn’t quite the whole story. I’m telling you, he should have listened to me and checked into that highly recommended Sexual-Healing-Rehab-and-Jiffy-Lube Shoppe®.

Getting back to Big Guy: today’s read speech will just be a continuation of his laser-like focus on the economy and jobs. As you know, he hasn’t once taken his eye off the ball since reporting for duty:

It’s just that he’s found different things to blame.

March 7, 2009

From the day I took office, I knew that solving this crisis would not be easy, nor would it happen overnight.  And we will continue to face difficult days in the months ahead…

That's why my administration is committed to doing all that's necessary to address this crisis and lead us to a better day.  That's why we're moving forward with an economic agenda that will jumpstart job creation

August 1, 2009 – where we blamed Bush for the economic mess:

But the truth is, we didn’t get into this mess overnight, and we won’t get out of it overnight. It’s going to take time. But history shows that you need to have economic growth before you have job growth.  And the report yesterday on our economy is an important sign that we’re headed in the right direction

This won’t happen overnight.  As I’ve said before, it will take many more months to fully dig ourselves out of a recession – a recession that we’ve now learned was even deeper than anyone thought. But I’ll continue to work every day, and take every step necessary, to make sure that happens.

October, 2, 2010 – where we blamed lack of “clean energy” funding:

Over the past twenty months, we’ve been fighting not just to create more jobs today, but to rebuild our economy on a stronger foundation.  Our future as a nation depends on making sure that the jobs and industries of the 21st century take root here in America.  And there is perhaps no industry with more potential to create jobs now – and growth in the coming years – than clean energy.

June 11, 2011 – where we blamed lack of education funding for the mess:

We’ve just come through the worst recession since the Great Depression, and while our economy as a whole has been growing and adding private sector jobs, too many folks are still struggling to get back on their feet. I wish I could tell you there was a quick fix to our economic problems.  

There are also a few other things we know will help grow our economy, and give people good jobs that support a middle-class lifestyle. We know that a quality education is a prerequisite for success, so we’re challenging states and school districts to improve teaching and learning, and making it a national goal to once again have the highest proportion of college graduates in the world by 2020.

September 22, 2012 – where we blamed Congress for the economic mess:

See, when they skipped town, Members of Congress left a whole bunch of proposals sitting on the table – actions that would create jobs, boost our economy, and strengthen middle-class security. These ideas have been around for months. The American people want to see them passed. But apparently, some Members of Congress are more worried about their jobs and their paychecks this campaign season than they are about yours.

So let’s just stipulate that there are lots of reasons why Big Guy’s still giving the same economic speech 5 years into his presidency. As a homage to the Obama Age of Excuses I would like to submit this summer rerun:  it serves the purpose of explaining why both the Little Weiner and the whole Country have slipped free of their moorings.

(whoops! here’s the right one)

In the end, the folks I hear from in letters or meet when I travel across the country – they aren’t asking for much. They’re just looking for a job that covers their bills. They’re just looking for a little financial security. They want to know that if they work hard and live within their means, everything will be all right. They’ll be able to get ahead, and give their kids a better life. That’s the dream each of us has for ourselves and our families.

In the real end, it’s the dream we have for our country too: if Congress could just work hard and live within its means, everything will be all right.

 Don’t bet on it

Because we’ve seen what it looks like when it’s not.

It’s half-time in America, folks. Grab a mop and clean up this mess in 2014.

Linked By:  Larwyn’s Linx on Doug Ross@Journal, and Grey Havens, Helene Fagan Bidwell, Abby L Call, Mireille Buser, Becky Dailey Lawrence-Becka, Dennis Denton, Annie Brown,  on facebook, and BlogsLucianneLoves, and Free Republic, Thanks!

Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network

Profiling the Prince

 

New Heir to the Throne

Have you seen the list of names for the new Prince of Wales? George, James, Edward, Philip? Pretty boring. Come now Limeys - You can do better than that!

Maybe the royals can consult with one of Hollywood’s name consultants; they’re much more creative, having assisted our own royalty with the likes of “Apple” “Blue Ivy” and “North.” For example, original unisex names still available as far as I know: “Robin’s Egg Blue,” “Poison Ivy” and “North-by-Northwest.” Likewise, I believe “Hashtag” has already been taken, butt “Hashtag@RoyalBaby” is still available.

Butt we will focus our poll on the top most likely contenders for the new prince’s name. Cast your vote, and don’t forget: Chicago rules apply.

And as soon as the official name is in, the royal photographer will step in to take pictures and capture the new prince’s aura.  That’s right: photographer Carlo Van de Roer doesn't just capture a person when he takes their photograph, he captures the color of their soul!

What color is your soul?

I have no doubt that the new baby’s aura will be beautiful, as are those of all innocents. Probably yellow, which Van de Roer says represents optimism, youth and dreaming.

Lady M immediately commissioned the photographer to capture her and BO’s souls on film too. Butt things didn’t work out so well; the proofs were really not acceptable and the last I heard Van de Roer had been placed on TSA’s “no-fly” list.

I’m sure it was just some sort of a mixup. Or a malfunctioning of the camera aura-capturer. Or something.

Anyway, here are the pictures he captured of the Wons’ souls. MO, on the left, BO on the right:

I leave it to you to decide if the photographer is a racist.

And because we so seldom get such a feel good story (the birth of the baby prince, not the Wons’ black souls), let’s milk it a little more with some more cute baby pictures:

Ferrets, grizzly, polar cub and the love that dare not speak its name.

Baby otter and panda cub.

(UpNorthLurkin’s newest family member, Casey)

 

You’re welcome. Now don’t forget to vote for your favorite name for the baby formerly known as Prince.

Linked By: Larwyn’s Linx on Doug Ross@Journal, and BlogsLucianneLoves, and Free Republic, Thanks!

Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network

The Black Mirror Reflects On Profiling

Frankly, I’m sick to death of all this talk about profiling.

Everybody does it, even Big Guy:

And eventually we’re all going to be profiled for one thing or another.

Sometimes because of our race,

White racists for Herman Cain

Sometimes because of our political inclinations:

And sometimes just because of our color.

Racist chairs being set up for BHO’s second historical inauguration

The fact is, profiling has become a fact of life:

             

Even I’ve been profiled; in fact, mirrors have been profiled throughout the course of history.

It’s even worse now though, with the advance of technology. To some, everyone with a mirrored surface looks alike. For example, a lot of people look at me and assume I’m just an iPhone with a built in camera (I’m really much more).

             

So they’re always posing in front of me.

Other people catch their profile in my shiny mirrored surface and immediately think, “That mirror makes my butt look big,”  as if it’s all my fault.

         

Other people come into the room and immediately assume that I’m there to reflect them. They don’t even see me, it’s as if I weren’t even there.

So thank you, butt I don’t think I need to be lectured by Big Guy on what it’s like to be profiled:

“There are very few African American men in this country who haven't had the experience of being followed when they were shopping in a department store.  That includes me.  There are very few African American men who haven't had the experience of walking across the street and hearing the locks click on the doors of cars.  That happens to me -- at least before I was a senator.[ed. - verb tense consistency, please!]  There are very few African Americans who haven't had the experience of getting on an elevator and a woman clutching her purse nervously and holding her breath until she had a chance to get off.  That happens often.” [ed. - Can I get a syntax check here?]

“Now, this isn't to say that the African American community is naïve about the fact that African American young men are disproportionately involved in the criminal justice system; that they’re disproportionately both victims and perpetrators of violence.  It’s not to make excuses for that fact -- although black folks do interpret the reasons for that in a historical context. [ed. - you just made excuses for that fact]  They understand that some of the violence that takes place in poor black neighborhoods around the country is born out of a very violent past in this country, and that the poverty and dysfunction that we see in those communities can be traced to a very difficult history.” [ed. - now you’ve actually justified it.]

Anyway, profiling is just like NSA surveillance, right? And like Big Guy and Ricky Holder like to tell us: “as long as you’re not doing anything wrong, you don’t have anything to worry about,” right?

“NDAA 2014 builds on the powers granted by both the Patriot Act and FISA by allowing unrestricted analysis and research of captured records pertaining to any organization or individual “now or once hostile to the United States”. Under the Patriot Act, the ability to obtain “any tangible thing” eliminated any expectation of privacy. Under NDAA 2014 Sec. 1061(g)(1), an overly vague definition of captured records enhances government power and guarantees indefinite surveillance.”

It looks to me like we’re building profiling right into our legal system. So I say forget about Big Guy’s forgettable pronouncement on race and profiling and tune instead into some other  fine summertime diversion. Might I recommend another TV series: The Black Mirror (no relation)? I think you’ll find it entertaining.

The Black Mirror isn’t the first Black to launch a series about transformation; or to tap into our “collective unease about our modern world.”

This is MOTUS, your Daily Mirror, signing off. Butt I will be watching you; watching me.

Linked By: American Digest, and iOwnTheWorld’s Cardigan, and Kathleen Franklin Avant, Nancy Bailey Mironov Ziegler, Joan DE Arc, Barbara Dumbaugh Semroska, Gjh Wilcox, Clint Counts on facebook, and BlogsLucianneLoves, and Free Republic, Thanks!

Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network

Time to take a break: summer re-runs

Hey! It’s summer, it’s hot, it’s time to take it easy. And that generally means reruns.

After Lady M broke the bank (figure of speech) on her African non-safari vacation wardrobe, she’s been very frugal. Nothing butt re-runs ever since.

So here’s my quick rerun of the reruns. First, on the Campaign trail, Florida, 2008; leaving for our African vacation, 2013

               

At a Garden Party, 2012,and another Garden Party, 2013

              

The first appearance of the Pick-me-up, buttercup frock, Copenhagen 2010; and at the Kids’ State Dinner last week:

                    

Our fashionable off-the-shoulder slump dress as worn at the August 2012 DNC, and again at the National Medals ceremony this month:

                  

White House Correspondents’ Dinner gown, 2012, rethreaded with sleeves so as not to offend the African sensibilities, 2013:

                 

Sundress first appearance at an Obamacare pep rally, 2010; and this week at a Chicago pep talk for teens.

                

    Dotty at the 2011 NAACP convention; Still dotty after all these years.

               

If, however, summer fashion reruns don’t satisfy your need for passive entertainment, I direct you to this compendium of TV summer rerun options. You’ve probably never heard of most of the recommendations, butt I’m sure you’ll discover some gems such as this new-to-me series, Firefly from way back in 2002.

Apparently it is cult space cowboy classic that was wildly popular among it’s handful of fans for the better part of one full season.

It even inspired its own set of Weebles!

Firefly’s creator, Joss Whedon, is well known for writing catchy, geek-quotable lines like:

 “I am a leaf on the wind. Watch how I soar.”

And, “Someone ever tries to kill you, you try to kill 'em right back!”

Whoa! I don’t think so!

"Oh, I think you might wanna reconsider that last part. See, I married me a powerful ugly creature."

Who has been transformed into a beautiful butterfly; sort of like America.

"I've been under fire before. Well ... I've been in a fire. Actually, I was fired. I can handle myself."

I got this!

"Ten percent of nothin' is ... let me do the math here ... nothin' into nothin' ... carry the nothin' ... "

I can handle this!

I, however am partial to another great line from this greatly underrated series:

“Curse your sudden but(t) inevitable betrayal!”

Which is variously illustrated here by a couple of out-takes from Lady M’s summer rerun series. First, this closeup from the 2008 series reveals our pre-dental work front tooth overlap and our not-yet exceptionally high cheekbones.

Anyway, Firefly, the series; highly recommended by geeks everywhere. Warning though, its brutal; just brutal.

“Curse your sudden butt inevitable betrayal!”  - Firefly, season .5

Meanwhile, if you’re looking for more substantial summer fare, I see that up on the Hill, Jason Chaffetz is planning to do a few reruns of his own: Fast and Furious, Benghazi, the IRS…must see TV.

Linked By: Larwyn’s Linx on Doug Ross@Journal, and Linda Jearls Gillespie on facebook, and BlogsLucianneLoves, and Free Republic, Thanks!

Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network