"Laissez Les Bon Temps Roulez"

Today is Fat Tuesday, also known as Maundy Tuesday: the last day of Mardi Gras in New Orleans – a city we love – and Carnivale in Rio de Janeiro– a city we hate. Because they stole our Olympics.

Obama homage in Dusseldorf carnival parade

You would think that Fat Tuesday would be a natural around here wouldn’t you? And it would be, except for the fact that it’s followed by 40 days of fasting and penance! Although we don’t really observe the Lenten season in the Big White - because of the separation of church and steak - but we do have some suggestions for those who do. Lady M had some of her little people in the kitchen come up with a healthy version of the traditional Maundy Tuesday, end of Mardi Gras feast:

 Big Guy bows to the King of Mardi Gras

 

Traditional: Hurricanes Oysters Rockefeller Jambalaya Spicy Seafood Gumbo Red Beans and Rice with Andouille King Cake

Anti-Fat: Tropical Depressions Eggplant Johnson Low-sugar Jam-balaya Spicy Obama Mumbo-jumbo Red Beans and Rice                     Obama (carrot) Cake

Remember: Only you can prevent Fat Head syndrome.

Fashions and Felons: Just Another Day

There have been a lot of our little people in the news today.

First Maria Pinto: 

You remember - one of Lady M’s favorite designers before she became first lady and everyone started giving her new stuff to wear? Apparently Maria didn’t get enough from the stimulus package to offset the decline in purchases made by MO once she grew too big (metaphorically speaking) for her designs. She’s shuttering her Chicago atelier due to the downturn in retail, fashion, and – let’s face it – just about everything else related to the economy.

We’re not taking this one personally though, it’s not  like that Scott Brown affair. Maria hasn’t really been in our power rotation for a while now. We’ve only worn her on a recycled basis since we Won.  And frankly, her creations weren’t really fashion forward enough for us. Some of them, if they had fit right, actually looked a little too FLOTUS-y.

 Red Maria Pinto, November ‘08

 Aqua Maria Pinto Sheath, Democratic convention

Remember, this might have been the same dress, but Maria had nothing to do with the L.L. Bean coat and radiator belt at the Tomb of the Unknown soldier (nor did I). Lady M provided all the fashion on her own.

  Recycled, with Lady M style

And we have Maria to thank for exposing MO’s fabulously toned arms to the public:

Purple Maria Pinto sheath, with Azzidine Alaia belt

Never-the-less, being thrown over all of a sudden by both Lady M and her handmaiden, Ikram, did take a toll on Maria’s psyche. She lost her touch and turned this out at last fall’s showing of her spring collection:

Don’t worry, Maria’s applied for some emergency bailout funding and will open up shop again providing upholstery and awning services to the stars.

In unrelated news: our private Big White chef, Christeta Comerford and pastry chef Bill Yosses are going to be on Martha Stewart today,

spilling the beans on the family’s eating habits. Ha! Not really, she’s going to tell Martha that all we eat are vegetables and low fat desserts. Get this: Turkey lasagna, with spinach! And orange yogurt cake with baked apple. In your dreams baby, in your dreams.

Even Martha seemed a bit skeptical. But then, she’s a hardened felon, and you can’t fool them like you can most of the people.

Wookie Lookies

Just a quick update from the Valentine’s party: so far we’ve had plenty of caviar, blinis, cream fraiche and champagne. I’m not sure what the main course is yet, but I’m sure it will be something healthy.

Regarding Lady M’s new fur coat, I’ve taken all of your comments (especially srdem65, who I believe has a future in fashion forward design) from the previous post into consideration. Here’s what I’ve come up with to save Big Guy’s behind, but I need some help before selecting the final reflection. We started with the basic mink (blackglama, Madame D, what else?) I couldn’t quite handle the mini with thigh-highs, even with all my powers, so it’s standard length. Sleeveless was a no-brainer: what could be more fashion forward than a sleeveless mink?

Where I need your help is with the accessories. Which complete look do you prefer? (my favorite part, the little bespoke purse goes with all 4 looks.)

  Wookie #1: classic elegance, with brooch

Wookie #2: Classic radiator boob belt

Wookie # 3 Fashion forward kuffiyeh BB

 Wookie #4 Full Ruskie

As always, Chicago rules apply. Polls close on Tuesday. I want to use this look on Wednesday when Spain’s King Juan Carlos comes to meet with Big Guy. I think it’s appropriately regal. Then on Thursday, the Dali Lama is coming over. Mo thinks something from her Chinese dynasty collection would probably be better protocol for that meeting. I tried to explain the politics of the situation to her, but she will hear none of it. I hope this doesn’t turn into another international incident. 

Did You See a Siberian Tiger, Or a Cheetah?

Unless he pulls off a miracle, Big Guy is really in the dog house. First off, Camp David “rustic” is not exactly the style Lady M had in mind for a well earned romantic Valentine’s Day date. And when she told Larry King last week that she expected the “moon, stars, and sun, honey” for the big V day, this is definitely not what she had in mind. Next time maybe Bo will be a little more specific when he asks his little people to do his shopping.

Let’s just say if he doesn’t come up with something pronto, it’s not just the Republicans who are going to be wiping the floor with him next year.

I’m doing my best to help him out, but he did drag us up here into the woods, and aside from Pajama-grams and 1-800-FLOWERS I don’t think you can get delivery on very much today. I did get brother Hub to send me a couple of images that I thought Big Guy might use in lieu of a Valentine’s card (which he forgot to have his little people pick out and sign for him, so by my count that’s a full 3 strikes). They’re not exactly the moon, stars and sun, but a pretty good facsimile.

I thought any one of them, framed and signed by Hub himself, might impress, but Big Guy say’s if he can’t get his hands on some ice, he’s going to be handed his you-know-what. Ice shouldn’t be too hard. It looks a lot like outer Siberia around here

Hey! Maybe a nice fur coat! If we re-cycled, I don’t see how even PETA could complain.

 I think I could work with this

I know Lady M said she doesn’t wear fur, but that was before Snow-bama-geddon. And I’m pretty sure I’ve seen her wear cheetah before so I don’t think it’s one of her iron clad positions, like eating healthy.

I’m Feeling Some Negative Karma

We were very sorry to hear that fashion forward designer Alexander McQueen has passed away. However, let me reiterate what Gibbsy has already told everyone: there is absolutely no truth to the rumor that he took his own life after seeing Lady M wearing one of his creations with a blouse from the 80’s and a Santa belt.

Lady M in Alexander McQueen suit

After all, Mr. McQueen appeared to embrace fashion forward concepts in his designs, and had a high tolerance for the bizarre:

        McQueen runway creations

Lady Gaga in McQueen’s lobster claw shoes

So we are assuming that he had other issues. My guess: it had something to do with George W. Bush.

But let’s face it, this doesn’t look good for the O’s. First Virginia, then New Jersey followed by sudden death in Massachusetts. Now this. It was bad enough when it looked like Big Guy was losing some of his mojo. Now it looks like he’s sending some of his bad karma Lady M’s way.

Sure, she can find a new designer. But any way you look at it, this is a great loss. Don’t worry, by tomorrow Gibbsy will re-spin it as a victory for diversity or something.

Big White-Out

 

The Government has shut down! Lady M has no dragons to slay today, so I’m getting a snow day!

I think Big Guy is laying low too, which means media withdrawal symptoms by noon, so I’m going to spend most of the day catching up on my reading in my little room at the back of Lady M’s closet. Later on, TOTUS and I are going to get together in the basement media room and practice a little scrolling. That never gets old.

I’ve got my Blackberry with me, just in case that little wiener from Iran tries anything stupid.

But you all be careful out there. Apparently we still have real enemies.

  Little Bo stalks his enemies in the Big White-out

Snow-Bama-Geddon: Let’s Moove!

Yesterday was a nightmare of costume changes: Anti-Fat-Kids task force in the morning:

 

“Let’s Move ” official kick-off in the afternoon with and without props:

 

Than we had a great Larry King interview in the Evening:

 "When you like people, having a job where you get to interact with folks on a day-to-day basis and you get to do things that make a difference -- it's not a bad gig." The operative term here is “ when you like people”.

On how the president deals with criticism: "You know, he doesn't get down easily. He gets very focused and very serious when he's facing a challenge. But, you know, the thing about Barack is that he stays humble and keeps things in perspective.”  Operative word “humble”

Does the president ever get mad?

MRS. OBAMA: Oh, yes.

KING: Angry, angry?

MRS. OBAMA: Oh absolutely. But...

KING: Ticked off?

MRS. OBAMA: Oh, yes. Yes, he's human. You know, if you prick him, he'll bleed. Operative word “prick”.

Mrs. Obama added: "We talked about wanting a stable, consistent leader.” Operative term, “talked about”.

Unemployment and the president: "Until the unemployment numbers go down, I don't think my husband is satisfied. ... You know, a lot was saved with the stimulus.” Operative term: “a lot was”, note we’re no longer calling them “jobs”. “And again, you know, it's -- it's hard to tell people who are hurting that things could have been worse if we hadn't done what we've done." Operative term: “it’s hard”. Oh my, yes. We know how hard it is for you all.

Regarding the upcoming Valentine's Day:

KING: What do you expect? Roses? Chocolates?

MRS. OBAMA: Oh, I expect the moon the stars and the sun, honey. Operative term… well, I think you get the picture.

The whole wonderful day was capped by an evening of Civil Rights Music in the Big White. This was originally scheduled for tonight, but we had to move it to last night because there’s another Snow-Bama-Geddon on the way. Not good, because we like to parcel out our public appearances on a daily basis in order to cover every news cycle without having to repeat. But sometimes something bigger than even our wishes and plans stand in the way of achieving our objectives. Like tea parties.

Because of all the black on black, I need to zoom in to show you the exquisite detail of the black lace, sparkly sheer sleeves and crystal neckgear. Oh, and the self-belting semi-bodice.

The concert was swell,everyone enjoyed locking arms and swaying to the oldies. But a lot of the old civil rights singers don’t really sing so much as they warble and hum along with the music. Although those Black Mississippi Blind Boys can still belt it out like nobody’s business. And Bob Dylan was here too.

Everyone had a very good time, but the pre and post concert snacks weren’t anything to write home about. I guess we didn’t want to be criticized for serving high caloric food on the very day of our anti-fat-kids kick off. We’ll have to wait till today.  I hope they bring Paula Deen back, now that lady knows how to make treats.

Magnolia Lace Trumpets with Chocolate Cream Cheese Filling

:

It was a day of heavy lifting for both of the O’s.(Big Guy pulled an impromptu press conference at a press briefing where Gibbsy performed some stupid people tricks. It was great fun.)

But I’ll share a little secret with you, some of yesterdays optics? We did it with mirrors.

Let’s Moo-ve On.org

This morning marked the official kick off of the O’s War on Twinkies, aka “Let’s Move”.

So here’s the O’s command and control plan for battling kiddie-porn fat:  eat healthier( as determined by companies who supply food and cafeteria services to school lunch programs across the country and who,incidentally, have been big contributors to the Won’s campaign coffers) be more active (through government funded pre,post and during school programs) and get healthier (that part’s just an edict – because we won – and we’re worried about healthcare costs ).

The whole gang got together this morning to watch Big Guy ink the Presidential Memorandum creating the first ever Task Force on Childhood Obesity. EVERYONE is involved, which is how you can tell it’s really big money important: the DPC, Office of the First Lady, Interior, USDA, HHS, Education, NEC and other agencies, as necessary. But look, here’s what’s cute:

Look closely: they are all color coordinated! Blue tie, blue tie, blue tie, blue dress and – ah – sweater, blue tie. Kitty seemed to be the only one who didn’t get the memo, or maybe she felt that her hair was close enough. I’m not sure what it means, but after the purple coordinated SOTU, I believe I’ve spotted a trend. Not as big as pole-dancer boots, but definitely a trend. Anyway, that explains why Andy Stern wasn’t present at the signing – he only has purple ties.

So the Task Force on Childhood Obesity will be conducting a review of every single program and policy relating to child nutrition and physical activity (there are thousands and thousands, as you might imagine) and develop a national action plan that “maximizes federal resources.” I’m not sure exactly what that means, but I’m pretty sure the deficit hawks aren’t going to like it.  We have to get that review done in 90 days or less, so we have plenty of time left in our historic administration to award big contracts to loyal supporters who can benefit contribute to the effort. And remember: it’s all about the children. Because they’re too fat.

We are going to be very busy. So LET’S MOVE!

Somehow I think a lot of people would like to do just that, if they had any idea where they could go.