BO’s B-Day Celebration Continues around the World All Week

“American intelligence agencies (issued) an unusual global travel alert to American citizens on Friday, warning of the potential for terrorist attacks by operatives of Al Qaeda and their associates beginning Sunday through the end of August.” NYT

Wait a minute: I thought Osama was dead and GM was alive -- maybe we got that backwards?

Al Qaeda in the Arabian Peninsula

GM in Detroit: the ash heap of history

In response, Big Guy’s birthday celebration originally scheduled for August 4, his alleged day of birth, has been extended through the entire week!

A global travel alert and 21 embassies and consulates across the Muslim world remain closed all week in honor of BO’s birthday!

Which means there’s still plenty of time to send BO best wishes for another good year, along with a monetary token of your sincere appreciation for everything he’s done, so far.

Or if you’re short on cash because, well, because you’re unemployed and your unemployment is finally running out and you haven’t been approved for disability yet, you can just throw an Obama house party to sell your friends and neighbors on the benefits of Obamacare:

So we’ll keep banging that drum and hope that our citizens at home and abroad don’t get freaked over the “phony scandal” that Al Qaeda is still alive and as hate-filled as ever;

and it’s Detroit that’s dead.

Abandon all hope, ye who enter here.

What the heck, this is America; we’ve got plenty of other cities. And since Islam has been waging its Long War against infidels for nearly 1500 years, I don’t think we could really expect them to stop now just because Big Guy won a Nobel Peace Prize for ending it. Right?

And let’s face it, what difference, at this point, does it make?

Just because you see little green men doesn’t necessarily mean you’re crazy

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Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network

A TRANsformational “Happy birthday, Mr. President. Happy birthday to you.”

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BIG GUY!!!!

Barry is 52 years young today, and to celebrate this holiest of international holy days, we closed all our embassies in islamic states, from North Africa through the Middle East, to give our State Department & CIA workers the B-Day off. Or did we close them because of that pesky al Qaeda chatter, like the stuff we ignored on 9-11-2012? I’m not sure, butt the FFOTUS (First Family Of The United States) and FOFFOTUS (Friends Of The First Family Of The United States) will par-tay at Camp David.

Keith Koffler spilled the beans on Big Guy’s Pre-B-Day duff-fest at St. Andrew’s Golf Resort and AFB yesterday:

There are three groups of four playing this morning, featuring Obama pals who have flown in from all over the country, including Hawaii: Greg Orme; Marty Nesbit; Hasan Chandoo; Bobby Titcomb; Mike Ramos; Wahid Hamid; Eric Whitaker; Reggie Love; Sam Kass; Laurent Delanney; and Marvin Nicholson.

No girls are invited – this is boys-club-only stuff.

What??? No girls??? I though the R-Words had an exclusive on the WOW!

Young WOW warrior inspects his womyn

Butt the really big celebration, sponsored by Organizing for Obama America, lasts all...month...long with protests and rallies in support of Big Guy’s favorite socialist causes, beginning, naturally, with Obamacare:

The group plans an “Obamacare Day of Action” on August 4, using the president’s birthday to inspire activists for a month long protest.(snip)

For the rest of the month, the group plans days of action for immigration reform, climate change, and gun violence. No specific day of action on jobs or the economy is proposed at this time.

Now does Big Guy’s J-O-B-S strategy make sense to you doubters? If you’re out of the workforce or have only a part-time job, you’ll have a lot more time to hold signs, sing and chant with Plouffe Daddy at all OFA’s “Day of Action” events!

We’ve only had one disappointment in the par-tay planning so far. Big Guy’s new secretary, Jean Carré, couldn’t convince the religion of peace to move the last day of ramadamadingdong to coincide with Big Guy’s “holy day” for a really big celebration. I don’t know why anybody expected a better result than Jean got in his negotiations with Pootie-Poot to get Snowden back.

After all the things Big Guy has done for the Brotherhood, I don’t see why they couldn’t do this one little thing, out of respect for BO. It’s not like ramadamadingdong falls on any hard and fast date, like Christmas or Independence Day (that’s the Fourth of July for you progressives). It’s more like those floating “Monday” holidays, like George Washington and MLK’s birthdays, where there is an actual date, butt we just wave it so everybody can get a 3 day weekend.

All the Muslim holy days, and believe me they are all very, very holy, bounce around because they don’t use the solar calendar that the civilized world uses. They use a “Lunar” calendar, because...wait for it...they’re LUNATICS! Tell me you couldn’t see that one coming.

Well, I’ve got to go. Sisters have the Jeep packed and we’ve got to hit the road so I can get to Camp David in time to reflect Lady M’s party entrance in spectacular fashion. Butt I’ll leave you with a sneak peek at my birthday present to Big Guy - a video of the special performer I’ve lined up to sing “Happy Birthday”:

Isn’t He She Perfect?

Linked By: Larwyn’s Linx on Doug Ross@Journal, and BadBlue, and Clarice Feldman, Meli Skillet Agriomelissa, Fred Hopkins on facebook, and WeedWeed on the Last Refuge, and BlogsLucianneLoves, and NOBO2012 on Free Republic, Thanks!

Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network

“Smuggling guns and arms across the Libyan border”

I guess the cat is out of the bag: Fast & Furious was just a training run for Big Guy’s Benghazi/Syria gun running operation. After connecting the dots, it looks like Big Guy’s posse was the primary supplier of the Brotherhood and al Qaeda rebels fighting to overthrow Bashar Assad in order to establish a muslim jihadi state in Syria.

I don’t like to be critical of Big Guy when he goes off teleprompter and tries something he has no experience with, butt I think he should have petitioned for a SAMCRO chapter, rather than trying it on his own. They might have advised him to smuggle new guns rather than try to take back the guns he smuggled to the Libyan Brotherhood and al Qaeda rebels fighting to overthrow Hosni Mubarak in order to establish a muslim jihadi state in Egypt. Nobody likes an Indian giver (can I say that?).

SAMWHO

Besides, Big Guy always felt that if he had a son who was a gun runner, he would look just like Jax.

This is my last full day at the beach with my sisters, so I’m going to make it brief and leave you with some gun running traveling music and this:

 

On The Border: Al Stewart

The fishing boats go out across the evening water
Smuggling guns and arms across the Spanish border
The wind whips up the waves so loud
The ghost moon sails among the clouds
Turns the rifles into silver on the border

On my wall the colours of the maps are running
From Africa the winds they talk of changes coming
The torches flare up in the night
The hand that sets the farms alight
Has spread the word to those who're waiting on the border

In the village where I grew up
Nothing seems the same
Still you never see the change from day to day
And no-one notices the customs slip away

Late last night the rain was knocking at my window
I moved across the darkened room and in the lampglow
I thought I saw down in the street
The spirit of the century
Telling us that we're all standing on the border

In the islands where I grew up
Nothing seems the same
It's just the patterns that remain
An empty shell

But there's a strangeness in the air you feel too well
The fishing boats go out across the evening water
Smuggling guns and arms across the Spanish border
The wind whips up the waves so loud
The ghost moon sails among the clouds
Turns the rifles into silver on the border

On the border
On the border
On the border

Linked By: Larwyn’s Linx on Doug Ross@Journal, and BadBlue, and Melissa Kunstadter, Mary Ann, Sandy Peterson, Abby L Call, Fred Hopkins, Clint Counts on facebook, and BlogsLucianneLoves, and NOBO2012 on Free Republic, Thanks!

Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network

Food For Thought Too

Were we all wrong? Is it possible that Big Guy is not the “One” we’ve been waiting for?

Could that title actually belong to a different clown?

No, not that clown, this clown:

It turns out Ronald McDonald may be the “Bringer of Manna.” That’s right, Mickey D’s McDouble is the “cheapest, most nutritious and bountiful food that has ever existed in human history!”

 

Not to mention Delicious!

I know what you’re thinking: “Woo Hoo! Butt where does Lady M stand on the McDouble?”

At the head of the line! Butt remember, Lady M strongly adheres to the philosophy “Do as I say, not as I do.”

 

 

Over the years, Lady M has tried to force encourage McDonald’s to join her No Child’s Fat Behind campaign:

 

 

All she asked Ronald to do was healthify the Happy Meal with apple slices:

 

or, “right-size” it,

and replace the racist toys packed in their Happy Meals with more appropriate action figures like these:

 

We finally WON their support (financial as well as moral) when MO agreed to allow her fashion forward image adorn the newly re-vitamized Happy Meal packaging for FREE!!! (* just pay separate processing and handling)

 

Look for it under the golden Arches in your neighborhood soon!

One important final note: according to the study, the delicious McDouble contains about 50% of the daily requirement of protein for only about 1 buck. So I recommend, just to be safe, spend another buck and eat 2. That way your required daily protein deposits are in the bank. So to speak.

If you want to know more about Lady M’s sacrificin’ for you on this topic, and I know you do, here are a few blasts from the past:

Clarabell vs Ronald McDonald: 9th Circus Court of Appeals Smackdown

Happy Meals? Put them in the History Books

Happy Meals and Happy Days

Food: For Thought

I’m off to the beach, then Mickey D’s!

Linked By: John Robert, Kathleen Franklin Avant on facebook, and BlogsLucianneLoves, and NOBO2012 on Free Republic, Thanks!

Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network

MOTUS’ First 2016 Prezzy Poll: Democratic Girls

Is it a wee bit early to be thinking about the 2016 Prezzy Election? Yeah, it probably is. Butt I’m a tired of not-de-funding Obamacare and roasting Weiners, so, I’m going to jump right in with my first, official 2016 Presidential poll: “Which Democratic Girl Will Be Nominated?” and why?

Why only Democrats? Because they’ve got their plan nailed down and every one of their ducks in a row. It’s easy when you’ve had the same, basic plan of HOPE & CHANGE since 1913.

Why "only girls? Because the Democratic the master plan calls for making history again by electing the first girl President. Big Guy proved that the best way to mobilize the LIVs (Low Information Voters) is to make the choice “Historic”: “Elect America’s the first black President, or you’re a racist.”

The strategery is clearly sound because Big Guy “WON!,” ipso fatso, future nominees will have the best shot at “Occupying” the Big White if they are also the “historic” choice. And the Dems are loaded with tantalizing, historic choices: girls, latinos, indians (woo woo, not Eastern), eskimos, muslims, illegal aliens, sexters and LGBTQs. Geez, that’s 5, historic election wins based on sexual preference alone!

Sorry; Only One “Historic First” Category Per Person.

Assuming the R-words will keep cheesing off conservatives and libertarians by acting like Democrats, that pretty much makes the White House “Blue” for at least the next 22 elections.

It’s no surprise that the Democratic party bench (the party of Sandra Fluke rhymes with duck) is deep in X chromosomes, and our leadoff batter is Hillary. Big Guy’s old secretary is, not just the presumptive nominee, butt a confirmed “Rock Star” (h/t: John McCain). After all, she’s earned the title by standing by her men (Big Dawg & Big Guy), she’s the former smartest woman to ever live (title now held by Lady M) and her odds of “WINNING!” just got a big boost when NBC endorsed her with a new 4-part miniseries starring Diane Lane as her Hillness.

Separated at birth?

Butt with all that going for her, she’s far from a shoe in. She discovered that in 2008. Fancy Nancy Pelosi has already made history as the Congressman to have more cosmetic surgeries than than Kim Kardashian first, historic girl Speaker of the House. Further down the bench, and I’m in trouble for not making her first, is Lady M, her own bad self. No need to dwell on her vast her qualifications: World Famous Fashion Icon and Busy Mom™  (h/t: Cripes Suzette).

Rounding out my poll are Democratic superwomen Janet “Bruno” Napolitano, Elizabeth “Pocahontas” Warren, and my surprise pick, Chelsea Clinton.

I know I’ve left out many contenders: Sgt, Wasserman-Schultz, future Secretary of Homeland Security and Mars Pathfinder expert, Sheila Jackson Lee and fashion icon contender, Rosa Delauro, to name just a few. They may pop up in future polls because they are NOT going away.

Remember, the question is “Which girl do you think will win?” NOT “Which girl would you vote for” (‘cause I would move to Venezuela before I’d  vote for any of them...uh...except for Lady M!) and as always, Chicago Rules are in effect. Vote early, vote often. Polls will remain open until I get back from the beach. HOPE I don’t get sun burned.

Linked By: Kathleen Franklin Avant on facebook, and BlogsLucianneLoves, and NOBO2012 on Free Republic, Thanks!

Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network

Parasites ‘R Us

I found this article on Instapundit last night:

“PROTOZOAN RELATIONSHIPS: Social amoebae travel with a posse, have amazingly complicated social lives.” 

It appears scientists have discovered a single-celled organisms that are actually “farmers.” Apparently they tote around two strains of bacteria wherever they go. One strain acts as “seed corn” to grow additional bacteria that then serve as an energy source for the “social amoeba” it travels with. The second strain of bacteria is a weaponized version of the first, butt since it’s toxic it provides protection for its host. Clever little protozoa: packin’ both guns and butter.

Butt I don’t see what the big deal is. Single-celled social amoeba in Washington have been cultivating bacteria to do their bidding for years:

“Social amoebae travel with a posse, have amazingly complicated social lives.”

Exhibit A

Exhibit B

Exhibit C

Exhibit D, E and F

And with that, I’m afraid I must leave you to contemplate this on your own. I have to tidy up my little bunker at the back of Lady M’s walk-in closet as I have summer visitors arriving shortly. And since the Big White is still closed to tourists due to the evil R-words sequester, I have to make arrangements with Little Mo to sneak them in the back door.

Taxpayers entrance

So postings will be brief through the weekend; there won’t be any big breaking news anyway as everyone around here is getting ready to go on vacation. Oh, and don’t worry about missing out on my in-depth analysis of Big Guy’s phony reads speeches on the economy and tax reform. He’s just trying to get everybody all wee-weed up, because that’s a time honored tradition around here during the dog days of August.

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An Empty Chair for the Ash Heap of History

Please, no more tweets about the organic garden at the Giant’s AT&T Park. It was a joke, okay?

“I’m proud to announce that next season they’re planning to turn the centerfield bleachers at AT&T Park into what’s believed to be the first ever edible garden in a major American sports facility. With rows of kale and strawberries and eggplant, the Giants are going to help encourage local youth to eat healthy – even at the ballpark.” 

It is funny though, isn’t it, how people will believe anything that comes out of Big Guy’s mouth.

“Free healthcare? For everybody?! Oh Mr. President, you are soooo cool!”

Butt seriously; I don’t think this is really such a bad idea. Just because San Francisco is at the top of the “best cities in America” list today doesn’t mean they won’t end up at the bottom tomorrow. Just like Detroit, the city the Giants trounced in last year’s World Series. They started out as one of the “best cities in America” too, the “Paris of the Midwest” no less.

So it’s never too early to begin planning for your municipal bankruptcy, especially if your city is run exclusively by progressive Democrats.

I’ve been doing some research on this situation and from what I can tell, the best path out of bankruptcy for Detroit is going to be urban farming. Interestingly, we’ve been running some trial programs right here in Washington D.C..

 

It appears that urban farming – crops as well as fish - is the perfect solution for rehabbing an industrial city that’s gone belly up. It’s sort of a “back to the future” recovery. Progressives highly approve of this scheme: it’s very green, has a small carbon footprint and provides jobs for people educated in the local public schools:

In the 19th century in this country, farm-hand work was a traditional trade for the unlettered and semi-skilled. In a way, RecoveryPark brings this neighborhood full circle, to a time before the industrial age transformed Southeast Michigan. “The fish don’t care if you can’t read or write,” he said. “The fish don’t care if you have felonies.”

And apparently the felons don’t care if you have fish either, as Food Field’s shipping container house and upcoming fish farm was robbed last week, before they even went operational.

The progressive promised land: mind you, they think conservatives are regressive.

So they need some new equipment to replace what was stolen but there’s no hurry, as they are still awaiting approval from the city for their farms. The city hasn’t quite figured out all the red tape they’re going to need to impose yet:

Though the systems are nearly complete, neither farm is sure when they’ll get individual approval from the city. Exactly how to become a fully permitted, legal aquaponics business is still fishy.

“The city is in the process of coming up with a process,” for approving fish farms, says Kathryn Underwood of the City Planning Commission. “We don't even have all of the forms quite in place yet for all of things that need to happen. We're riding a bike and building it at the same time.”

As I said, I’ve been studying this and I think that there could be a real future for failed cities in farming: getting “back to their roots” so to speak. In fact, I discovered that other countries have been doing urban farming for decades. Here for example, is an established farm in Havana (Cuba, not Florida):

Havana Acres: Forward! comrades.

And let’s face it, growing a few onions in Detroit sure wouldn’t hurt anything.

Just like Roosevelt’s New Deal morphed into Lyndon Johnson’s Great Society, all our new urban renewal project needs (aside from cash) is a great, historic name: How about “Obama’s Field of Dreams”?

Yes, I like that. And I think we can all appreciate the symbolism of the dreams; 70 years of fighting to end poverty and racial injustice, 70 years of progress. 70 years of “we can’t wait,” 70 years of fundamentally transforming America. And now, finally, we have something  to show for it: corn fields in Detroit where once great industries stood and people lived. That, my friends, is Progress with a capital P.

Golden ears of corn growing in the shadows of the Golden Towers of the Fisher Building and the former GM World Headquarters

So I guess Detroit is going to be okay, they shouldn’t be needing another federal handout, maybe just a little gardening advice from our master gardener and a hand at getting the spring plantings in.

And later BO can come drop in for the royal harvest:

“I told you boys, if I build it they will come.” He didn’t say they’d be rats though.

So I think Detroit’s positioned to make the shift from industry to our new urban renewal farming program. Heaven knows, they’ve certainly made enough compost to last another 40 years. And if the onions and corn thing doesn’t work out, I hear there’s always a big demand for medical marijuana in the city.

What is it about Progressive stewardship that always leads us to the ash heap of history?

What idiot left this classic Eames chair out in the field to rot!??

Do you see, now, the danger in leaving the chair empty?

Hope fades, the empty chair continues to rot.

Linked By: BlogsLucianneLoves, and NOBO2012 on Free Republic, Thanks!

Cross-Posted on Patriot Action Network